Leafs

Random Hockey Randomness: Kessel, Puberty, Photo Memory & Ugly Sweaters...

Oct 14, 2014 • 1:48 pm

Ordered Tim Horton's new "Phil Kessel" lunch deal yesterday. Was handed a half dozen of these:

So how is it, in this day and age, that a player with a multi-million dollar a year contract can play in the first game of the regular season and appear significantly winded after each shift? Someone, namely the player, has obviously dropped the ball on their side of the bargain. You come to camp prepared, you play with effort.

At the same time, I’m not completely out of touch here. I understand the reality which is you’re not always going to get the full potential or effort of a player sometimes, irrespective of what they’re being paid. But I do ask this: at least pretend to care! Of course, pretending to care involves the use of, or holding back on, certain language.

To illustrate the latter, let’s set up a simple two sentence scenario: End of the regular season. Leafs miss the playoffs by two points. Flashback to the aftermath of game one of the season when Phil Kessel, the guy you lean on as you primary dynamic scorer, has this to say when questioned on his conditioning:

“Guys, it’s Game 1. You guys need to relax a bit here.…

A game one that may impact where you go after game 82. It may be that no matter what Kessel did that game they would have lost, but then again, we’ll never know, right? Same against the Penguins on Saturday: had a short burst at one point on the power play setting some guys up, but really not playing half decent defense much of the game and drawing multiple hooking calls (almost like he couldn’t keep up, right?) and serving a “Too many men… penalty which speaks to how helpful he was perceived as being in that moment.

Don’t want to make too huge a deal here, but after years of hearing excuses over injuries and the like killing playoff chances, some responsibility needs to be held too. Sorry if you feel like people are making mountains out of molehills, but hey, your $10 million salary this year kind of comes with the expectation you care a bit…

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All credit goes to the fine folks at Russian Machine Never Breaks (www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com) for pointing out this absolute gem!

So a great deal goes up on Groupon for Capitals tickets. Nothing untowards there...

...until you get into this:

The Tuscaloosa Puberty! Named after an "intimidating natural phenomenon" nonetheless!

Would hate to own a jersey for the team. Would get progressively fuzzy where there was no fuzz before, and wearers would be insecure about whether theirs looked as good as other fans jerseys...

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There are certain unspoken rules that you just don't break:

- Never use the urinal next to someone if another is free

- Never date a friends ex

- Always keep a friend from getting his ass whooped, even if they probably deserve it.

And stuff like this:

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NEVER hit another guy in the junk! I think you'd even be hard pressed to find someone on the Blackhawks roster who would say they wouldn't have reacted similarly to Myers. Cup or no cup, that's just a nasty shot! Shaw can be thankful Myers didn’t go “Eye for an Eye… here…

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You often hear about how goal scorers see the ice a different way. How about their memory?

Love that! This guy has a great mind for the game obviously, and this gives some insight into how differently he is able to process what’s happening around him. Mad talent!

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Start with the Leafs, end with ‘em too.

Looking for some oddball clothing for the Leafs fan in your family? Check out this Christmas bad boy: