Greetings, Members of Leafs Nation who live in the Province of HockeyBuzzania!

Why we keep living here, I have no idea.

Welcome to the Official 2023-24 Toronto Maple Leafs Prediction Thread!

Second verse, same as the first. Use the template below (hit return, then delete {quote=Atomic Wedgie} at the top, and {/quote} at the bottom) and fill out your predictions for the year. There are no real rules - put down point totals, beeyotchy insults, general thoughts - I don't particularly care.

As per every year, I ask that at puck-drop time on opening night one of our refs please lock the thread, so that all of our predictions will be preserved – even if they all go rotten.

DO NOT MOCK OTHER GUYS' PREDICTIONS IN THIS THREAD!

Do that in the main Leafs threads. But simple rule - if you want to rip a guy a new one for a stupid prediction, you had better have made your own (stupid) predictions first. Otherwise, we will lock you in a room with Spatso.

There are no prizes. I will not declare an official winner. Rather, the purpose of this exercise is for you to demonstrate your Leafy geniousness, and to allow others to witness your glory.

So without further ado...

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I am the greatest Leafs fan alive because:

The Leafs will finish:

The main reason for this is:

The biggest surprise will be:

The biggest disappointment will be:

People think this guy is good, but he sucks (and the reason is):

People think this guy sucks, but he's not so bad (and the reason is):

The best move MLSE did in the off-season was:

If I was GM, I would have:

At the trade deadline, the Leafs will need to:

If you remember nothing else I said, remember I said this about the 2023-24 Leafs:


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THE LEAFS

Forwards:

Nick Abruzzese:

Tyler Bertuzzi:

Kyle Clifford:

Easton Cowan:

Max Domi:

Max Ellis:

Roni Hirvonen:

Pontus Holmberg:

Calle Jarnkrok:

David Kampf:

Matthew Knies:

Braeden Kressler:

Sam Lafferty:

Mitchell Marner:

Auston Matthews:

Fraser Minten:

William Nylander:

Dmitry Ovchinnikov:

Ryan Reaves:

Nicholas Robertson:

John Tavares:

Ryan Tverberg:

Ty Voit:


Defence

Simon Benoit:

TJ Brodie:

Mark Giordano:

John Klingberg:

Mikko Kokkonen:

William Lagesson:

Timothy Liljegren:

Jake McCabe:

Jake Muzzin:

Morgan Rielly:

Conor Timmins:


Goalies

Martin Jones:

Matt Murray:

Ilya Samsonov:

Joseph Woll:

Other:

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THE LEAGUE

Top 3 teams, Atlantic Division (in order):

Top 3 teams, Metro Division (in order):

Wildcard teams - East:

Top 3 teams, Central Division (in order):

Top 3 teams, Pacific Division (in order):

Wildcard teams - West:

Last place team overall:

Most surprising team:

Most disappointing team:

My wild, wacky hot-take:

Best player/$:

Worst player/$:

Guy who should have retired instead of playing in 2023-24:

Art Ross winner:

Hart winner:

Norris winner:

Calder winner:

Vezina winner:

Richard winner:

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THE PLAYOFFS

Western Conference winner:

Eastern Conference winner:

Stanley Cup winner:

Conn Smythe Trophy winner:

I am the greatest Leafs fan alive because:
My koolaid immunity.

The Leafs will finish:
1st. Yes, 1st.

The main reason for this is:
It's about (frank)ing time, isn't it?

The biggest surprise will be:
Finishing 1st.

The biggest disappointment will be:
All the Dubas wives continued crying about how he built this team.

People think this guy is good, but he sucks (and the reason is):
Klingberg. Soft turnstile.

People think this guy sucks, but he's not so bad (and the reason is):
McCabe. Hard.

The best move MLSE did in the off-season was:
Sign Matthews.

If I was GM, I would have:
Kept Luke Schenn.

At the trade deadline, the Leafs will need to:
Add defenceman with physicality.

If you remember nothing else I said, remember I said this about the 2023-24 Leafs:
They're actually going to win the (frank)ing Cup this year.

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THE PLAYOFFS

Western Conference winner: Oilers

Eastern Conference winner: Leafs

Stanley Cup winner: Leafs

Conn Smythe Trophy winner: Mitchell Marner

THE LEAFS

Forwards:

Nick Abruzzese: 16G 10A for the marlies

Tyler Bertuzzi: 20G 40A

Kyle Clifford: fights a lot in the AHL

Easton Cowan: I’m a Londoner and can’t wait

Max Domi: 9G 30A

Max Ellis: who knows?

Roni Hirvonen: who knows again?

Pontus Holmberg: and again?

Calle Jarnkrok: AND AGAIN FFS

David Kampf: 5G 12A

Matthew Knies: 20G 30A

Braeden Kressler: who?

Sam Lafferty: does he make the team?

Mitchell Marner: 25G 75A

Auston Matthews: 60G 60A

Fraser Minten: 15G 20A

William Nylander: 25G 25A

Dmitry Ovchinnikov: back in the who knows loop

Ryan Reaves: and the loop continues

Nicholas Robertson: a couple goals in January

John Tavares: 82 god damn points

Ryan Tverberg: marlies estimates?

Ty Voit: once again?


Defence

Simon Benoit: (frank) it. 60P

TJ Brodie: the guy who takes the blame this year

Mark Giordano: everytime he fails it’s due to his age

John Klingberg: why the (frank) did they sign him?

Mikko Kokkonen: lol

William Lagesson: lol oh dear

Timothy Liljegren: he’s going to have a great season

Jake McCabe: hits a lot

Jake Muzzin: nachos taste good

Morgan Rielly: 50P….the team’s next captain?

Conor Timmins: health gains knowledge


Goalies

Martin Jones: star in AHL that makes leafs fans want him

Matt Murray: kicks his feet back and makes cash

Ilya Samsonov: overjudged by media

Joseph Woll: him too

Other: who knows

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THE LEAGUE

Top 3 teams, Atlantic Division (in order): why not?
Leafs
Bruins
Habs

Top 3 teams, Metro Division (in order):
Hurricanes
Devils
Islanders

Wildcard teams - East:
Penguins
Panthers

Top 3 teams, Central Division (in order):
Avs
Stars
Coyotes (why the (frank) not?)

Top 3 teams, Pacific Division (in order):
I don’t know
Oilers
Kings
Golden Knights

Wildcard teams - West:
Sharks
Kraken

First place team overall:
Toronto Maple (frank)ing Leafs

Most surprising team:
Toronto Maple (frank)ing Leafs

Most disappointing team:
Not the Toronto Maple (frank)ing Leafs

My wild, wacky hot-take:
San Jose (I used to have a jersey why not?)

Best player/$:
Ffs McDavid

Worst player/$:
For Toronto fans and not me? Brodie.

Guy who should have retired instead of playing in 2023-24:
Gio

Art Ross winner:
McDavid

Hart winner:
McDavid

Norris winner:
(frank) it… Rielly

Calder winner:
Knies

Vezina winner:
Woll

Richard winner:
Matthews

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THE PLAYOFFS

Western Conference winner:
Oilers

Eastern Conference winner:
Leafs

Stanley Cup winner:
Leafs

Conn Smythe Trophy winner:
Tavares

I am the greatest Leafs fan alive because: I got an awesome leather Leafs jacket. I just got the Börje Salming patch put on it and it looks (frank)ing awesome. So me > all y'all

The Leafs will finish: 1st in Atlantic and 2nd in East

The main reason for this is: They're just better than the other teams in their division

The biggest surprise will be: For some it will be Liljegren but others already know how good he's gonna be

The biggest disappointment will be: Unfortunately probably Gio

People think this guy is good, but he sucks (and the reason is): Klingberg is pretty terrible defensively, so we just gotta hope the offense outweighs it

People think this guy sucks, but he's not so bad (and the reason is): Liljegren somehow has haters

The best move MLSE did in the off-season was: Let Holl go and be dead weight on the Red Wings

If I was GM, I would have: Signed Acciari over Kampf

At the trade deadline, the Leafs will need to: That won't be known until the season plays out and if there's injuries

If you remember nothing else I said, remember I said this about the 2023-24 Leafs: They got what it takes, they just gotta do it


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THE LEAFS

Forwards:

Nick Abruzzese: Meh

Tyler Bertuzzi: 22 G 44A

Kyle Clifford: Meh

Easton Cowan: OHL

Max Domi: 12 G 40A

Max Ellis: Meh

Roni Hirvonen: Meh

Pontus Holmberg:

Calle Jarnkrok: 18G 18A

David Kampf: 5G 11A

Matthew Knies: 25G 45A

Braeden Kressler: Meh

Sam Lafferty: Traded, probably Vagcouver

Mitchell Marner: 34G 70A

Auston Matthews: 64G 46A

Fraser Minten: WHL

William Nylander: 42G 48A

Dmitry Ovchinnikov: Meh

Ryan Reaves: 2G 7A

Nicholas Robertson: 14G 30A

John Tavares: 28G 50A

Ryan Tverberg: Meh

Ty Voit: Meh


Defence

Simon Benoit: 0G 5A

TJ Brodie: 2G 26A

Mark Giordano: 2G 17A

John Klingberg: 8G 40A

Mikko Kokkonen: Meh

William Lagesson: Meh

Timothy Liljegren: 8G 30A

Jake McCabe: 2G 15A

Jake Muzzin: RIP

Morgan Rielly: 12G 57A

Conor Timmins: 8G 40A


Goalies

Martin Jones: Probably Tampa

Matt Murray: Nah

Ilya Samsonov: 40W

Joseph Woll: 15W

Other:

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THE LEAGUE

Top 3 teams, Atlantic Division (in order): Toronto, Florida, Tampa

Top 3 teams, Metro Division (in order): Carolina, NJ, NYR

Wildcard teams - East: Pittsburgh and Buttalo

Top 3 teams, Central Division (in order): Dallas, Colorado, Minnesota

Top 3 teams, Pacific Division (in order): Vegas, LA, Edmonton

Wildcard teams - West: Calgary and Seattle

Last place team overall: Philly

Most surprising team: Calgary makes a comeback and doesn't have some of the worst goaltending in the league

Most disappointing team: Boston, hopefully

My wild, wacky hot-take: Ottawa is still a year or 2 from making the playoffs and they cry at the end of the season when they fall short, again

Best player/$: Bedard, probably

Worst player/$: Nurse, Jeff Skinner, or Holl who somehow got a (frank)ing raise

Guy who should have retired instead of playing in 2023-24: Unfortunately, probably Gio

Art Ross winner: McJesus

Hart winner: McJesus

Norris winner: Makar

Calder winner: Knies (Bedard)

Vezina winner: Oettinger

Richard winner: Matthews

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THE PLAYOFFS

Western Conference winner: Dallas

Eastern Conference winner: Leafs

Stanley Cup winner: Leafs

Conn Smythe Trophy winner: Matthews

So without further ado...

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I am the greatest Leafs fan alive because: This is the way

The Leafs will finish: 4th overall

The main reason for this is: Everyone contributes

The biggest surprise will be: 3 rookies make the team

The biggest disappointment will be: Gio - his age will show

People think this guy is good, but he sucks (and the reason is):

People think this guy sucks, but he's not so bad (and the reason is):

The best move MLSE did in the off-season was: Bertuzzi

If I was GM, I would have: no more than what has been done

At the trade deadline, the Leafs will need to: Scoring C/W

If you remember nothing else I said, remember I said this about the 2023-24 Leafs: Don't trade Nylander out of fear of not signing him even if a short term contract 3yrs.


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THE LEAFS

Forwards:

Nick Abruzzese:

Tyler Bertuzzi: 19g/42a

Kyle Clifford:

Easton Cowan:

Max Domi: 23g/30a

Max Ellis:

Roni Hirvonen:

Pontus Holmberg: 9g/14a

Calle Jarnkrok: 15g/22a

David Kampf: 13g/20a

Matthew Knies: 15g/10a

Braeden Kressler:

Sam Lafferty: been trade. enjoy Vancouver

Mitchell Marner: 33g/68a

Auston Matthews:51g/60a

Fraser Minten:13g/ 10a

William Nylander: 42g/50a

Dmitry Ovchinnikov:

Ryan Reaves: 6g/13a

Nicholas Robertson:

John Tavares: 35g/43a

Ryan Tverberg:

Ty Voit:


Defence

Simon Benoit:

TJ Brodie: 6g/22a

Mark Giordano: 3g/20a

John Klingberg:15g/32a

Mikko Kokkonen:

William Lagesson:

Timothy Liljegren: 8g/26a

Jake McCabe:3g/16a

Jake Muzzin:

Morgan Rielly:17g/44a

Conor Timmins: 11g/20a


Goalies

Martin Jones: 4-1-1

Matt Murray: tanning somewhere on Robidas Island

Ilya Samsonov: 26-17-3

Joseph Woll: 20-10-0

Other:

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THE LEAGUE

Top 3 teams, Atlantic Division (in order): Toronto, Ottawa, Detroit

Top 3 teams, Metro Division (in order): New Jersey, Carolina, New York Rangers

Wildcard teams - East: Pittsburgh, Buffalo

Top 3 teams, Central Division (in order): Colorado, Dallas, Minnesota

Top 3 teams, Pacific Division (in order): Edmonton, Seattle, Vegas

Wildcard teams - West: Calgary, Los Angeles

Last place team overall: New York Islanders

Most surprising team: Arizona

Most disappointing team: Boston

My wild, wacky hot-take:

Best player/$:

Worst player/$:

Guy who should have retired instead of playing in 2023-24: Gio

Art Ross winner:

Hart winner:

Norris winner:

Calder winner:

Vezina winner:

Richard winner:

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THE PLAYOFFS

Western Conference winner: Leafs

Eastern Conference winner: Oilers

Stanley Cup winner: Of course the Leafs

Conn Smythe Trophy winner: Samsonov

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I am the greatest Leafs fan alive because:

The Leafs will finish: 1st in division.

The main reason for this is: it is time.

The biggest surprise will be: a distinct reduction in "Leafy" outcomes to games.

The biggest disappointment will be: No Poon Jenner.

People think this guy is good, but he sucks (and the reason is): Reaves, he doesn't "suck", he's just a murder pylon.

People think this guy sucks, but he's not so bad (and the reason is): Tavares (pajamas)

The best move MLSE did in the off-season was: Fire Dubas

If I was GM, I would have: put steroids in the gatorade

At the trade deadline, the Leafs will need to: Be smart.

If you remember nothing else I said, remember I said this about the 2023-24 Leafs: the Leafs WILL advance past the second round at worst.


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THE LEAFS

Forwards:

Nick Abruzzese: Who?

Tyler Bertuzzi: Meets expectations.

Kyle Clifford: Does Cliffy things as expected.

Easton Cowan: Who?

Max Domi: Makes his daddy proud, stays, resigns, and thrives.

Max Ellis: Who?

Roni Hirvonen: Who?

Pontus Holmberg: Who?

Calle Jarnkrok: YARNCOCK. That is all.

David Kampf: Remains reliable, does Kampf things.

Matthew Knies: Makes a play to be a permanent top-six fixture.

Braeden Kressler: Who?

Sam Lafferty: Provides solid bottom-six minutes but doesn't move the needle.

Mitchell Marner: Does Mitch things. 30 goals minimum and a huge pile of assists.

Auston Matthews: His glorious mustache leads the way to a 110 point season.

Fraser Minten: Grows his first pubes.

William Nylander: Floats his way into a fat contract somewhere, maybe stays, maybe goes.

Dmitry Ovchinnikov: Who?

Ryan Reaves: Murders at least 4 people during the regular season.

Nicholas Robertson: Continues to frustrate observers.

John Tavares: Plays his heart out and half the forum still wants him gone. No surprises.

Ryan Tverberg: Who?

Ty Voit: Who?


Defence

Simon Benoit: Who?

TJ Brodie: Will play more minutes than he should, but Leafs have no choice.

Mark Giordano: Joins AARP and get a great discount on prescription drugs.

John Klingberg: Goes an a terror piling up points before a sudden season-ending injury.

Mikko Kokkonen: Who?

William Lagesson: Who?

Timothy Liljegren: Becomes a hand model for Avon.

Jake McCabe: Plays more minutes than he should. See Brodie.

Jake Muzzin: Gets a nice tan by the pool.

Morgan Rielly: Rielly explodes this year and puts himself in the Norris conversation.

Conor Timmins: Buys another "n" and spells his name properly for the first time.


Goalies

Martin Jones: Competes for the backup job.

Matt Murray: Gets a nice tan by the pool with Muzzin.

Ilya Samsonov: Becomes the new Andersen.

Joseph Woll: Gets in a fight with Jones for the backup job.

Other: YARNCOCK.

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THE LEAGUE

Top 3 teams, Atlantic Division (in order): Leafs, Lightning, Bruins.

Top 3 teams, Metro Division (in order): Don't care.

Wildcard teams - East: Buffalo, Florida

Top 3 teams, Central Division (in order): Don't care.

Top 3 teams, Pacific Division (in order): Don't care.

Wildcard teams - West: Don't care.

Last place team overall: San Jose

Most surprising team: Montreal

Most disappointing team: Lightning

My wild, wacky hot-take: Death metal goal songs

Best player/$: Pat Maroon

Worst player/$: That McDavid clown.

Guy who should have retired instead of playing in 2023-24: Marchand

Art Ross winner: That McDavid clown.

Hart winner: Matthews

Norris winner: Rielly

Calder winner: Some kid who can't grow a proper beard.

Vezina winner: Johansson (Lightning)

Richard winner: A total darkhorse nobody will see coming.

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THE PLAYOFFS

Western Conference winner: Don't care.

Eastern Conference winner: Leafs

Stanley Cup winner: Leafs

Conn Smythe Trophy winner: Floater Willy

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I am the greatest Leafs fan alive because: I am Santo

The Leafs will finish: 1st in the league

The main reason for this is: Goals, goals and goals

The biggest surprise will be: Klingberg

The biggest disappointment will be: Sammy

People think this guy is good, but he sucks (and the reason is): Lafferty

People think this guy sucks, but he's not so bad (and the reason is): Klingberg

The best move MLSE did in the off-season was: Sign Bertuzzi

If I was GM, I would have: Improved the D

At the trade deadline, the Leafs will need to: Improve the D

If you remember nothing else I said, remember I said this about the 2023-24 Leafs:

This will be a dominant season

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THE LEAFS

Forwards:

Nick Abruzzese: 1 G 3 A

Tyler Bertuzzi: 35 G 35 A

Kyle Clifford: 0

Easton Cowan: 0

Max Domi: 12 G 38 A

Max Ellis: 0

Roni Hirvonen: 0

Pontus Holmberg: 7 G 10 A

Calle Jarnkrok: 15 G 15 A

David Kampf: 8 G 15 A

Matthew Knies: 23 G 35 A

Braeden Kressler: 0

Sam Lafferty: 5 G 10 A

Mitchell Marner: 35 G 70 A

Auston Matthews: 65 G 50 A

Fraser Minten: 14 G 25 A

William Nylander: 40 G 50 A

Dmitry Ovchinnikov: 0

Ryan Reaves: 7 G 7 A

Nicholas Robertson: 10 G 10 A

John Tavares: 30 G 45 A

Ryan Tverberg: 1 G 1 A

Ty Voit: 0


Defence

Simon Benoit: 0 G 8 A

TJ Brodie: 3 G 14 A

Mark Giordano: 2 G 9 A

John Klingberg: 10 G 50 A

Mikko Kokkonen: 3 A

William Lagesson: 4 A

Timothy Liljegren: 8 G 20 A

Jake McCabe: 5 G 20 A

Jake Muzzin: 0

Morgan Rielly: 8 G 45 A

Conor Timmins: 9 G 15 A


Goalies

Martin Jones: GONE

Matt Murray: 0

Ilya Samsonov: 20 W

Joseph Woll: 30 W

Other: 5 W

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THE LEAGUE

Top 3 teams, Atlantic Division (in order): TOR, BUFF, TB

Top 3 teams, Metro Division (in order): CAR, NJD, NYR

Wildcard teams - East: OTT, NYI

Top 3 teams, Central Division (in order): DAL, COL, MIN

Top 3 teams, Pacific Division (in order): EDM, LA, WPG

Wildcard teams - West: SEA, LV

Last place team overall: SJ

Most surprising team: BUFF

Most disappointing team: Boston

My wild, wacky hot-take: Boston finishes outside playoffs

Best player/$: Bedard

Worst player/$: Nurse

Guy who should have retired instead of playing in 2023-24: Gio

Art Ross winner: Mcdaddy

Hart winner: Matthews

Norris winner: Karlsson

Calder winner: Bedard

Vezina winner: Sorokin

Richard winner: Matthews

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --

THE PLAYOFFS

Western Conference winner: EDM

Eastern Conference winner: TOR

Stanley Cup winner: TOR

Conn Smythe Trophy winner: BERTUZZI

So without further ado...

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I am the greatest Leafs fan alive in BC


The Leafs will finish: 2nd

The main reason for this is: to avoid the president’s trophy curse

The biggest surprise will be:Woll

The biggest disappointment will be:Bustuzzi

People think this guy is good, but he sucks (and the reason is): Samsosoft

People think this guy sucks, but he's not so bad (and the reason is):Jarnkrok

The best move MLSE did in the off-season was: Resigned 34

If I was GM, I would have:been named executive of the year after adding Laviolette

At the trade deadline, the Leafs will need to: add shutdown Dman

If you remember nothing else I said, remember I said this about the 2023-24 Leafs:
No excuses

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THE LEAFS

Forwards:

Nick Abruzzese: injury callup

Tyler Bertuzzi:Cut your hair hippie and put some tape on your stick

Kyle Clifford:no

Easton Cowan:no

Max Domi:22 goals

Max Ellis:no

Roni Hirvonen:no

Pontus Holmberg:18 pts

Calle Jarnkrok:underappreciated hard working swiss army knife

David Kampf:overpaid 4C

Matthew Knies: 23 goals

Braeden Kressler:no

Sam Lafferty: will get traded to Van for a 5th

Mitchell Marner:101 pts

Auston Matthews:61 goals

Fraser Minten:let him wait

William Nylander:trade him for Drysdale, save some money

Dmitry Ovchinnikov:no

Ryan Reaves:good addition

Nicholas Robertson:16 goals

John Tavares:80 pts

Ryan Tverberg:no

Ty Voit:no


Defence

Simon Benoit:7th dman, serviceable

TJ Brodie:32 pts

Mark Giordano:warrior

John Klingberg:Klingon

Mikko Kokkonen:no

William Lagesson:no

Timothy Liljegren: Gigsy’s boyfriend

Jake McCabe:great value

Jake Muzzin:RIP

Morgan Rielly:60 pts

Conor Timmins:33 pts


Goalies

Martin Jones:waivers

Matt Murray:gonzo

Ilya Samsonov:soft as slime

Joseph Woll:in Woll we trust

Other:

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

THE LEAGUE

Top 3 teams, Atlantic Division (in order):
Flo Tor Ott
Top 3 teams, Metro Division (in order):
Car NJ NYR
Wildcard teams - East:
Buff TB
Top 3 teams, Central Division (in order):
Dall Col LV
Top 3 teams, Pacific Division (in order):
Edm LA Ana
Wildcard teams - West:
StL Van
Last place team overall:
SJ
Most surprising team:
Ott
Most disappointing team:
Bruins
My wild, wacky hot-take:
CBJ
Best player/$:
B Tkachuk / Demko
Worst player/$:
Jamie Macoun / Killorn
Guy who should have retired instead of playing in 2023-24:
Couturier
Art Ross winner:
McDavid
Hart winner:
McDavid
Norris winner:
Heiskanen
Calder winner:
Bedard
Vezina winner:
Woll
Richard winner:
34
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --

THE PLAYOFFS

Western Conference winner:
Dallas
Eastern Conference winner:
Toronto
Stanley Cup winner:
Dallas
Conn Smythe Trophy winner:
Roope Hintz

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I am the greatest Leafs fan alive because: Spatso shrivels in my presence

The Leafs will finish: First in the Atlantic, second in the conference

The main reason for this is: staying healthy (except Samsonov) and cap wizardry

The biggest surprise will be: Woll

The biggest disappointment will be: Samsonov

People think this guy is good, but he sucks (and the reason is): Klingberg, he's softer than slime

People think this guy sucks, but he's not so bad (and the reason is): Timmins, has size and skill plus he's a RHD

The best move MLSE did in the off-season was: Sign Matthews

If I was GM, I would have: traded for Zadorov instead of signing Klingberg

At the trade deadline, the Leafs will need to: trade for a tough D-man that can play

If you remember nothing else I said, remember I said this about the 2023-24 Leafs: They will score often and will have the #1 PP in the NHL


- - - - - - - - - - -

THE LEAFS

Forwards:

Nick Abruzzese: 4 G 4 A

Tyler Bertuzzi: 23 G 20 A

Kyle Clifford: He will rack up the penatly minutes for the Marlies

Easton Cowan: not ready yet

Max Domi: 20 G 28 A

Max Ellis: Marlies

Roni Hirvonen: Marlies

Pontus Holmberg: 6 G 12 A

Calle Jarnkrok: 18G 20 A

David Kampf: 12 G 11 A

Matthew Knies: 19 G 24 A

Braeden Kressler: meh

Sam Lafferty: gone eh?

Mitchell Marner: 35G 68A

Auston Matthews: 62 G 58 A

Fraser Minten: 8G 15A

William Nylander: 42G 45 A

Dmitry Ovchinnikov: meh

Ryan Reaves: 3 G 7 A and will punch out Bennett's lights


Nicholas Robertson: 12G 14 A

John Tavares: 32G 38A

Ryan Tverberg: 4G 6A

Ty Voit: meh


Defence

Simon Benoit: meh

TJ Brodie: 10G 18 A

Mark Giordano: 3G 8A

John Klingberg: 12G 23A

Mikko Kokkonen: meh

William Lagesson: meh

Timothy Liljegren: 14G 20A

Jake McCabe: 5G 12 A

Jake Muzzin: he's alive?

Morgan Rielly: 19G 48A

Conor Timmins: 12 G 15A


Goalies

Martin Jones: 6W

Matt Murray: collecting easy money from his couch

Ilya Samsonov: 25 W

Joseph Woll: 29 W

Other:

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

THE LEAGUE

Top 3 teams, Atlantic Division (in order): Toronto, Tampa Buffalo

Top 3 teams, Metro Division (in order): Carolina, NJ, Pittsburgh
Wildcard teams - East: Rangers, Florida

Top 3 teams, Central Division (in order): Colorado, Dallas, Nashville

Top 3 teams, Pacific Division (in order): Edmonton, Vegas, LA

Wildcard teams - West: Winnipeg, Calgary

Last place team overall: San Jose

Most surprising team: Pittsburgh

Most disappointing team: Minnesota

My wild, wacky hot-take:

Best player/$: Connor Bedard

Worst player/$: Jordan Binnington

Guy who should have retired instead of playing in 2023-24: Giordano

Art Ross winner: McDavid

Hart winner: Matthews

Norris winner: Makar

Calder winner: Bedard

Vezina winner: Jake Oettinger

Richard winner: Matthews

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --

THE PLAYOFFS

Western Conference winner: Edmonton

Eastern Conference winner: Toronto

Stanley Cup winner: Leafs

Conn Smythe Trophy winner: Nylander

I am the greatest Leafs fan alive because: I am the only realist in the whole fan base.

The Leafs will finish: 1st Atlantic, 3rd overall

The main reason for this is: Tampa and Boston are worse

The biggest surprise will be: Bertuzzi will be better than expected

The biggest disappointment will be: Domi

People think this guy is good, but he sucks (and the reason is): Reaves, will offer nothing of use.

People think this guy sucks, but he's not so bad (and the reason is): Jones, They will need goalie help.

The best move MLSE did in the off-season was: Bertuzzi

If I was GM, I would have: not much more could be done

At the trade deadline, the Leafs will need to: defensive depth

If you remember nothing else I said, remember I said this about the 2023-24 Leafs: The results will not be different.

- - - - - - - - - - -


THE LEAGUE

Top 3 teams, Atlantic Division (in order): Toronto, Tampa, Boston

Top 3 teams, Metro Division (in order): Carolina, New Jersey, Rangers

Wildcard teams - East: Ottawa, Pittsburgh

Top 3 teams, Central Division (in order): Colorado, Dallas, Minnesota

Top 3 teams, Pacific Division (in order): Edmonton, Vegas, Seattle

Wildcard teams - West: Los Angeles, Calgary

Last place team overall: Montreal

Most surprising team: Calgary

Most disappointing team: Florida

My wild, wacky hot-take: Edmonton loses in the first round

Best player/$: McDavid

Worst player/$: Karlsson

Guy who should have retired instead of playing in 2023-24: Giordano

Art Ross winner: McDavid

Hart winner: McDavid

Norris winner: Makar

Calder winner: Bedard

Vezina winner: Shesterkin

Richard winner: McDavid

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --

THE PLAYOFFS

Western Conference winner: New Jersey

Eastern Conference winner: Colorado

Stanley Cup winner: New Jersey

Conn Smythe Trophy winner: Hughes

I am the greatest Leafs fan alive because: I am the only one who will proudly wear a Bryan McCabe jersey to a game this year.

The Leafs will finish: oh, what the hell - 1st in the division.

The main reason for this is: they are better than they were up front last year - at least for the regular season.

The biggest surprise will be: The Brick Woll.

The biggest disappointment will be: Giordano. Leafs fans won't criticize him, but the dude can't hockey anymore.

People think this guy is good, but he sucks (and the reason is): Reaves. There simply is no need for an old guy who can punch but can't skate.

People think this guy sucks, but he's not so bad (and the reason is):Keefe. His record speaks for itself.

The best move MLSE did in the off-season was: staying the course. Shaking up the team would have been a stupid idea. The window is right now.

If I was GM, I would have: Traded Samsonov for a D, and run with Woll and Jones.

At the trade deadline, the Leafs will need to: get better defence.

If you remember nothing else I said, remember I said this about the 2023-24 Leafs: Have fun watching the regular season, but it don't mean squat. If they don't make it to the Eastern finals, this season is a failure.


- - - - - - - - - - -

THE LEAFS

Forwards:

Nick Abruzzese: I don't know who he is, and I doubt I ever will.

Tyler Bertuzzi: Not gonna lie, I still don't like his anti-vax stupidity. And I hated his uncle, so there's that. It won't really matter what he does in the regular season - he's being paid to be a difference maker in the playoffs. And I don't think he'll live up to the hype.

Kyle Clifford: Could be replaced with any other guy and you wouldn't notice.

Easton Cowan: Not good enough to play in the NHL...yet.

Max Domi: He's going to be a fan-favourite early on, but I am curious what will happen when fans figure out he isn't a true banger. I predict he'll break 50 points this year.

Max Ellis:Who?

Roni Hirvonen:Say hi to Duke the Dog for me.

Pontus Holmberg: Who?

Calle Jarnkrok:If I was the GM, I'd trade him to get cap space.

David Kampf:Whatever.

Matthew Knies:Sorry to write this, but I predict growing pains and a little bit of Marlies time. Which is not an insult - it takes time to make the NHL.

Braeden Kressler:Who?

Sam Lafferty:I predict they will trade him to a team on the West coast, and won't get more than a 5th or 6th round pick back.

Mitchell Marner: 100 points, and will still be my favourite player. Happy he's now my daughter's favourite player. His edge work is top-10 in the league.

Auston Matthews: Another season where he doesn't really give 100% - just drafting off the pack, ready to attack the finish line at the end (it's a running analogy for hockey - meaning he won't give 100% until the playoffs).

Fraser Minten: Not yet an NHLer. Once again, not an insult. I hope he gets valuable training at WJC - and then maybe gets a call-up in the spring. Let's not rush him.

William Nylander: Beast mode. Greedy Willie will be good for the Leafs this year. I predict 40 goals, 90 points - in his last season as a Maple Leaf.

Dmitry Ovchinnikov: Any relation to Ovechkin?

Ryan Reaves: Will be my whipping boy this year. Stupid, stupid signing. We don't need him. Does not serve an actual purpose.

Nicholas Robertson:Marlies. Probably traded at the deadline for a rental.

John Tavares: Same as last year - a point a game. I would slide him to the wing, but no way Keefe does it.

Ryan Tverberg:Who?

Ty Voit:Didn't Voit used to make tennis balls?


Defence

Simon Benoit:Never heard of him, I doubt I ever will.

TJ Brodie:This guy's probably going to be my whipping boy this year (I'll miss Holl in that regard). Not optimistic he will have a good season.

Mark Giordano: Too old. Yeah, sorry. Too old.

John Klingberg:I don't know enough about him to make a good prediction, so let's just go with Mathieu Schnieder 2.0. That's not a compliment.

Mikko Kokkonen:Never heard of him.

William Lagesson:Never heard of him.

Timothy Liljegren:I guess I have to be optimistic about someone, so sure, he's going to continue to get better.

Jake McCabe: A classic case of a guy who is good at what he does, but he doesn't score 40 points so Leafs fans hate him. Just let him play his game.

Jake Muzzin: Will he be a good scout?

Morgan Rielly: We need to see more of Playoffs Morgan - because last year's Regular Season Morgan wasn't good enough. I predict he'll be better this year.

Conor Timmins: I don't know enough about him to make a solid prediction.


Goalies

Martin Jones: Call up for injury, and will play well enough to make it awkward when Samsonov recovers from injury.

Matt Murray: I hear the 11 am aquacize class on Robidas Island is great.

Ilya Samsonov: People forget he had the 5th best sv% of starters last year. 2nd best GAA. He'll continue to be strong for us.

Joseph Woll: He's better than people make him out to be. I think goaltending will be a quiet strength of the Leafs this year.

Other:

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

THE LEAGUE

Top 3 teams, Atlantic Division (in order):Leafs, Boston, Florida

Top 3 teams, Metro Division (in order):Carolina, Rangers, Devils

Wildcard teams - East:Buffalo, Tampa

Top 3 teams, Central Division (in order):Avalanche, Jets, Stars

Top 3 teams, Pacific Division (in order):Oilers, Kings, Knights

Wildcard teams - West:Kraken, Flames

Last place team overall:Sharks

Most surprising team:Buffalo

Most disappointing team:Islanders

My wild, wacky hot-take: This is the year the Penguins fall off the face of the earth.

Best player/$:Willy Nye

Worst player/$:Still Campbell

Guy who should have retired instead of playing in 2023-24:Giordano

Art Ross winner:McJesus

Hart winner:McJesus

Norris winner:Makar

Calder winner:Knies

Vezina winner: Hellebuyck

Richard winner: McDavid

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --

THE PLAYOFFS

Western Conference winner:Edmonton

Eastern Conference winner:Carolina

Stanley Cup winner:Edmonton

Conn Smythe Trophy winner:McJesus

I am the greatest Leafs fan alive because: On the advice of counsel I decline to answer

The Leafs will finish: 1st in their divison, 2nd in the conference

The main reason for this is: More line balance

The biggest surprise will be: Matthew Knies

The biggest disappointment will be: John Klingberg

People think this guy is good, but he sucks (and the reason is): John Klingberg. We lived it with Tyson Barrie. He can't defend and it's a problem because his offense is diminishing.

People think this guy sucks, but he's not so bad (and the reason is): Ryan Reaves. He is a decent enough skater, can punch faces if he has to, brings energy and he is a big enough man to win battles, create net front havoc and be deployed in some different situations giving us more versatility than we've had. He's not great by any stretch, but I don't think he's the liability some pundits write about (especially the Athletic who rued that Reaves stayed and we moved Lafferty because of it).

The best move MLSE did in the off-season was: I like the Max Domi move.

If I was GM, I would have: not signed John Klingberg. There is a theme to my responses.

At the trade deadline, the Leafs will need to: Make the defense playoff worthy by adding some toughness.

If you remember nothing else I said, remember I said this about the 2023-24 Leafs: The pieces are falling into place, but they are still not strong and mean enough defensively to win the NHL's playoffs.


- - - - - - - - - - -

THE LEAFS

Forwards:

Nick Abruzzese:

Tyler Bertuzzi: 25g - 25a / 50pts

Kyle Clifford: n/a

Easton Cowan: 9GP: 1g - 3a / 4pts

Max Domi: 18g - 27a / 45pts

Max Ellis: n/a

Roni Hirvonen: n/a

Pontus Holmberg: Up after the kids are sent back - 5g - 10a - 15pts

Calle Jarnkrok: 15g - 15a / 30pts

David Kampf: 10g - 12a / 22pts

Matthew Knies: 15g - 25a / 45pts

Braeden Kressler: n/a

Sam Lafferty: n/a

Mitchell Marner: 35g - 70a / 105pts

Auston Matthews: 60g - 45a / 105pts

Fraser Minten: 9GP: 1g / 2a / 3pts

William Nylander: 40g - 50a / 90pts

Dmitry Ovchinnikov: n/a

Ryan Reaves: 5g - 10a / 15pts

Nicholas Robertson: Gets good AHL action and some callups. 4g - 2a / 6pts

John Tavares: 25g - 45a / 70pts

Ryan Tverberg: n/a

Ty Voit: n/a


Defence

Simon Benoit: n/a

TJ Brodie: 3g - 15a / 18pts

Mark Giordano: 2g - 12a / 14pts

John Klingberg: 10g - 35a / 45pts

Mikko Kokkonen: n/a (probably gets some games)

William Lagesson: n/a

Timothy Liljegren: 5g - 15a / 20pts

Jake McCabe: 2g - 15a / 17pts

Jake Muzzin: n/a

Morgan Rielly: 10g - 45a / 55pts

Conor Timmins: 5g - 15a / 20pts


Goalies

Martin Jones: 17gp - 8 - 6 - 1 / 2.91 / .899%

Matt Murray: n/a

Ilya Samsonov: 45gp - 30-10-3 / 2.25 / .920%

Joseph Woll: 25gp - 15 - 7 - 2 / 2.55 / .914%

Other:

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

THE LEAGUE

Top 3 teams, Atlantic Division (in order): Toronto, Florida, Boston

Top 3 teams, Metro Division (in order): Carolina, New Jersey, New York Rangers

Wildcard teams - East: Tampa Bay, Ottawa

Top 3 teams, Central Division (in order): Colorado, Dallas, Minnesota

Top 3 teams, Pacific Division (in order): Edmonton, Vegas, LA

Wildcard teams - West: Calgary, Seattle

Last place team overall: San Jose

Most surprising team: Ottawa

Most disappointing team: Pittsburgh.

My wild, wacky hot-take:

Best player/$: Due to the ELC, Bedard or Beniers

Worst player/$: Seth Jones

Guy who should have retired instead of playing in 2023-24: Nicklas Backstrom, my runner up for worst player / $

Art Ross winner: Connor McDavid

Hart winner: Connor McDavid

Norris winner: Cale Makar

Calder winner: Connor Bedard

Vezina winner: Ilya Sorokin

Richard winner: Auston Matthews

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --

THE PLAYOFFS

Western Conference winner: Toronto

Eastern Conference winner: Edmonton

Stanley Cup winner: Edmonton

Conn Smythe Trophy winner: Leon Draisaitl

I am the greatest Leafs fan alive because: I hate them with a passion and wish them nothing but pain. Probably still puts me in the top 10% of Leafs fans.

The Leafs will finish: 1st in the Atlantic, Turd in the conference.

The main reason for this is: Tampa and Boston won't be as good while the Leafs are in a very similar situation.

The biggest surprise will be:Liljegren will show some of his offensive upside and get more than 30 points

The biggest disappointment will be: Klingberg will be a massive failure defensively and will force the Leafs to look for better options in that top 4.

People think this guy is good, but he sucks (and the reason is): Klingberg sucks defensively so much, he'll make you wish Jake Gardiner was still playing.

People think this guy sucks, but he's not so bad (and the reason is): I keep seeing people hating on Jarnkrok, he's a solid bottom 6 option for Toronto and can even help out in the top 6 for a short while.

The best move MLSE did in the off-season was: Sign Bertuzzi, perfect fit for the Leafs top 6.

If I was GM, I would have: Signed a better overall defenseman than Klingberg, who brings nothing the Leafe needed.

At the trade deadline, the Leafs will need to: Improve their defense.

If you remember nothing else I said, remember I said this about the 2023-24 Leafs: They've added some good players (Bertuzzi, Domi, Knies) that will help bring some grit and attitude to the ice. But that defense is worse than it was with Holl and Schenn on it.


- - - - - - - - - - -

THE LEAFS

Forwards:

Nick Abruzzese: Nobody cares

Tyler Bertuzzi: Solid pickup, if he stays healthy could get 60+ points

Kyle Clifford: He's still alive?

Easton Cowan: Minor bound at some point

Max Domi: Will produce offensively, take dumb penalties and will never backcheck. Annoying guy to play against though.

Max Ellis: Who?

Roni Hirvonen: AHL full time

Pontus Holmberg: He'll... be there?

Calle Jarnkrok: Love that guy. Leafs need to keep him around.

David Kampf: Solid bottom 6 centre. No problem here.

Matthew Knies: I expect an up and down season for Knies. Typical of young players. Should end with around 45 points.

Braeden Kressler: No idea who this is.

Sam Lafferty: GONE TO VANCOUVER! WOO!

Mitchell Marner: Mr. Selke won't win the Selke. He's great though.

Auston Matthews: A bounce back year for Matthews, will get around 100 points if not injured. Maybe more.

Fraser Minten: I don't think he sticks.

William Nylander: This will be Willy's last season as a Leafs, someone is going to offer him enough money and the Leafs won't commit to him for close to 10M. Will never play centre again... I hope?

Dmitry Ovchinnikov: Is he like a mini Ovechkin?

Ryan Reaves: Terrible at playing hockey. Shouldn't play any games that are important. Looks like a good guy though. Hope WiFi punches him in the face.

Nicholas Robertson: Will finally play in the NHL and surprise by how effective he'll be.... until he gets injured again in 20 games.

John Tavares: You'll see Tavares slow down this season, but still a great overpaid 2nd line centre for Toronto. Still good for around ppg production.

Ryan Tverberg: You're making that name up.

Ty Voit: Him too.


Defence

Simon Benoit: Irrelevent.

TJ Brodie: Will keep regressing this year, but Leafs need him in a big role.

Mark Giordano: Isn't he 200 years old? Still one of the best 6 defensemen though.

John Klingberg: Will get his points on the powerplay but will be hated by most by christmas.

Mikko Kokkonen: I don't even....

William Lagesson: Just because his name finishes in "son" doesn't mean he's a good hockey player.

Timothy Liljegren: Most improved player on the Leafs defense this year.

Jake McCabe: Will be a solid presence for the Leafs if his icetime doesn't go over 20 min every night.

Jake Muzzin: RIP

Morgan Rielly: Will be the Leafs MVP when it matters.

Conor Timmins: Should have made the team, will be on the roster when he comes back from injury.


Goalies

Martin Jones: Will pass through waivers and be a decent option when Samsonov gets injured. (notice I didn't say "if")

Matt Murray: Will never play hockey again. At least not for Toronto.

Ilya Samsonov: Will be good enough for the season, but won't prove he's a top goaltender either.

Joseph Woll: The future in net, might overcome Samsonov is given the chance.

Other:

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

THE LEAGUE

Top 3 teams, Atlantic Division (in order): Toronto, Boston, Buffalo.

Top 3 teams, Metro Division (in order): Devils, Rangers, Canes

Wildcard teams - East: Tampa, Pittsburgh

Top 3 teams, Central Division (in order): Colorado, Dallas, Minnesota

Top 3 teams, Pacific Division (in order): Oilers, Vegas, Kings

Wildcard teams - West: Kraken, Calgary

Last place team overall: San Jose, by a mile.

Most surprising team: Montreal (that's right, a dose of over confidence here, Habs will battle for a playoffs spot)

Most disappointing team: Tampa will regress in a big way without Vasilevsky

My wild, wacky hot-take: Buffalo will make the jump and be in the mix with Toronto and Boston all year.

Best player/$: McDavid

Worst player/$: Mike Hoffman

Guy who should have retired instead of playing in 2023-24:

Art Ross winner: McDavid

Hart winner: Jason Robertson

Norris winner: Cale Makar

Calder winner: Bedard

Vezina winner: Shesterkin

Richard winner: GOAL Caufield

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --

THE PLAYOFFS

Western Conference winner: Dallas

Eastern Conference winner: Carolina

Stanley Cup winner: Carolina

Conn Smythe Trophy winner: Seth Jarvis

I am the greatest Leafs fan alive because: I am not the greatest leafs fan...and that's ok.

The Leafs will finish: 2nd in conference

The main reason for this is: they will get the 2nd most points in the conference

The biggest surprise will be: They make the 3rd round

The biggest disappointment will be: the constant talk of about the cap and willie's contract all season and seeing vegas raise the cup banner. Gross.

People think this guy is good, but he sucks (and the reason is): Reaves. He doesn't suck, but not sure we need him for 3 seasons.

People think this guy sucks, but he's not so bad (and the reason is): Kerfoot. All the best on the new team.

The best move MLSE did in the off-season was: Moving on from Dubas.

If I was GM, I would have: Not spent so much money on Klingberg

At the trade deadline, the Leafs will need to: get better defence.

If you remember nothing else I said, remember I said this about the 2023-24 Leafs: Enjoy the season, I hope your life's happiness doesnt depend on how the leafs do this year.

Sorry, I just dont care enough or have the time to come up (ok, i probably have the time) with pts for each leafs player and division results

- - - - - - - - - - -

THE LEAFS

Forwards:

Tyler Bertuzzi: 49pts - if he plays 82 games. 0.60ppg

Max Domi: 40pts

Matthew Knies: 35pts

Mitchell Marner: 99pts

Auston Matthews: 95pts

William Nylander: 81pts

John Tavares: 65pts


THE PLAYOFFS

Western Conference winner: Oilers?

Eastern Conference winner: Canes, but hopefully the Leafs

Stanley Cup winner: Oilers if it cant be the Leafs

I am the greatest Leafs fan alive because: I'm Barb!

The Leafs will finish: First in the LEAGUE

The main reason for this is: Additions of tougher players with balls

The biggest surprise will be: Reaves

The biggest disappointment will be: Keefe

People think this guy is good, but he sucks (and the reason is): Can't think of any player on the roster that I feel this way about.

People think this guy sucks, but he's not so bad (and the reason is): I could say this about Reaves and Domi...they both bring a much needed element of FU and the team needed that. Same for Bertuzzi but nobody says he sucks.

The best move MLSE did in the off-season was: Matthews extension

If I was GM, I would have: Kept Schenn and added Zadorov over Klingberg.

Rielly, Schenn
McCabe, Zadorov
Gio, Lily
*chef's kiss

At the trade deadline, the Leafs will need to: get tougher on D

If you remember nothing else I said, remember I said this about the 2023-24 Leafs: The will have a powerhouse year....think Boston last season.


- - - - - - - - - - -

THE LEAFS

Forwards:

Tyler Bertuzzi: 27 G 31 A

Max Domi: 20 G 28 A

Calle Jarnkrok: 18G 23 A

David Kampf: 8 G 14 A

Matthew Knies: 21 G 19 A SH4 (Minten and Knies will be best PK tandem)

Mitchell Marner: 32G 72A

Auston Matthews: 61 G 45 A

Fraser Minten: 14G 24A SH5 (Minten and Knies will be best PK tandem)

William Nylander: 38G 42A

Ryan Reaves: 5 G 8 A and will be a fan fav!!!

Nicholas Robertson: traded

John Tavares: 29G 37A

Noah Gregor: 10G 18A, kills it on the PK



Defence


TJ Brodie: 8 G 18 A

Mark Giordano: 3G 9A

John Klingberg: 18G 27A

Timothy Liljegren: 14G 20A

Jake McCabe: 5G 12A

Morgan Rielly: 15G 42A

Conor Timmins: 11G 15A


Goalies

Martin Jones: 3W - and then traded with Robertson for a tougher Dman in season

Ilya Samsonov: 35 W

Joseph Woll: 24 W

Other:

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

THE LEAGUE

Top 3 teams, Atlantic Division (in order): Toronto, Tampa, Ottawa


Last place team overall: Detroit

Most surprising team: Ottawaa

Most disappointing team: Florida

My wild, wacky hot-take: Florida poops to bed this year


Guy who should have retired instead of playing in 2023-24: Giordano

Art Ross winner: McDavid

Hart winner: Matthews

Norris winner: Makar

Calder winner: Knies....Bedard is going to miss a big chunk of time with injury

Vezina winner: Woll

Richard winner: Matthews

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --

THE PLAYOFFS

Western Conference winner: Edmonton

Eastern Conference winner: Toronto

Stanley Cup winner: Leafs

Conn Smythe Trophy winner: Matthews...he's going to be a beast this year

Greetings, Members of Leafs Nation who live in the Province of HockeyBuzzania!

Why we keep living here, I have no idea.

Welcome to the Official 2023-24 Toronto Maple Leafs Prediction Thread!

Second verse, same as the first. Use the template below (hit return, then delete {quote=Atomic Wedgie} at the top, and {/quote} at the bottom) and fill out your predictions for the year. There are no real rules - put down point totals, beeyotchy insults, general thoughts - I don't particularly care.

As per every year, I ask that at puck-drop time on opening night one of our refs please lock the thread, so that all of our predictions will be preserved – even if they all go rotten.

DO NOT MOCK OTHER GUYS' PREDICTIONS IN THIS THREAD!

Do that in the main Leafs threads. But simple rule - if you want to rip a guy a new one for a stupid prediction, you had better have made your own (stupid) predictions first. Otherwise, we will lock you in a room with Spatso.

There are no prizes. I will not declare an official winner. Rather, the purpose of this exercise is for you to demonstrate your Leafy geniousness, and to allow others to witness your glory.

So without further ado...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I am the greatest Leafs fan alive because:
I dance like no one is watching
The Leafs will finish:
Probably
The main reason for this is:
Probabilities
The biggest surprise will be:
Klingberg becomes less bad
The biggest disappointment will be:
Weak play from Samsonov
People think this guy is good, but he sucks (and the reason is):
McCabe
People think this guy sucks, but he's not so bad (and the reason is):
Kampf - they don’t understand his role
The best move MLSE did in the off-season was:
Bertuzzi
If I was GM, I would have:
Picked up someone who D’s better than some of the guys they have D’ing now
At the trade deadline, the Leafs will need to:
D
If you remember nothing else I said, remember I said this about the 2023-24 Leafs:

Where did I park the car? Leafs win at least two rounds
- - - - - - - - - - -

THE LEAFS

Forwards:

Nick Abruzzese:

Tyler Bertuzzi:
Hope he figures out how to play with the big boys
Kyle Clifford:

Easton Cowan:

Max Domi:
Offense will be nice. This would be a good time to learn D’ing
Max Ellis:

Roni Hirvonen:

Pontus Holmberg:

Calle Jarnkrok:
Babysitting the young ‘uns
David Kampf:
Always on the ice with game on the line
Matthew Knies:
Puts up decent numbers. Playing 82 games may be a challenge
Braeden Kressler:

Sam Lafferty:

Mitchell Marner:
Big time
Auston Matthews:
Love to see scoring touch back
Fraser Minten:
Santo’s son
William Nylander:
Big year
Dmitry Ovchinnikov:

Ryan Reaves:
Hope he hockeys good
Nicholas Robertson:
Will get his chances on the big club. If he doesn’t produce, bye
John Tavares:
Ho hum, another good year
Ryan Tverberg:

Ty Voit:


Defence

Simon Benoit:
Etobicoke is nice
TJ Brodie:
Really, really dunno what to expect
Mark Giordano:
Cryonics till playoffs
John Klingberg:
Gulp, here’s hoping
Mikko Kokkonen:
7th D?
William Lagesson:
Second 7th D?
Timothy Liljegren:
Time for top 4
Jake McCabe:
Please be good(ish)
Jake Muzzin:

Morgan Rielly:
Big year
Conor Timmins:

He’ll always have the preseason scoring title
Goalies

Martin Jones:
Cones up, plays great and then is lost to waivers
Matt Murray:

Ilya Samsonov:
Hopeful but not yet convinced
Joseph Woll:
Max knows
Other:

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

THE LEAGUE

Top 3 teams, Atlantic Division (in order):
Leafs
Florida
TB
Top 3 teams, Metro Division (in order):
NJ
Carolina
Rangers
Wildcard teams - East:
Pens
Bruins
Top 3 teams, Central Division (in order):
Stars
Avs
Wild
Top 3 teams, Pacific Division (in order):
Oil
Knights
Kings
Wildcard teams - West:
Kraken
Jets
Last place team overall:
Sharks
Most surprising team:
Kings
Most disappointing team:
Edmonton
My wild, wacky hot-take:
Jets beat Edmonton in first round
Best player/$:
Bedard
Worst player/$:

Guy who should have retired instead of playing in 2023-24:

Art Ross winner:

Hart winner:

Norris winner:

Calder winner:

Vezina winner:

Richard winner:

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --

THE PLAYOFFS

Western Conference winner:
LA
Eastern Conference winner:
Leafs
Stanley Cup winner:
Leafs
Conn Smythe Trophy winner:
- Atomic Wedgie

Nylander

I am the greatest Leafs fan alive because:

This is a stupid, unquantifiable question that boils down to "I am because I said I am."

The Leafs will finish:

1st in the Division, 3rd in the East.

The main reason for this is:

Boston and Tampa Bay take a step back due to injuries and losses which will hinder their regular season, especially at the start.

The biggest surprise will be:

Woll. He's going to be forced into playing a lot at some point this season. His frame and his style give him a shot to be a big surprise. But he's young and unproven so as always, the Leafs lack of D in front of him will make his life very, very difficult.

The biggest disappointment will be:

Bad coaching combined with the Leafs inability to prevent goals against from a lack of shutdown forwards to weak D to unproven / injured goaltending.

People think this guy is good, but he sucks (and the reason is):

Klingberg. Holy (frank) he's bad defensively and is the exact polar opposite of what the Leafs should want and/or need.

People think this guy sucks, but he's not so bad (and the reason is):

Before the season, nobody thinks any Leafs player sucks. But Lafferty was just traded for no good reason so management must have thought he sucked enough to trade for a meaningless draft pick. He was a good bottom-six player, good speed, good versatility.

The best move MLSE did in the off-season was:

Drop out from buying a WNBA team.

If I was GM, I would have:

Fired Keefe, hired Quenneville.

Trade Brodie and Samsonov away. Acquire Hellebuyck.

Trading Brodie balances the salaries even if he goes to a 3rd team. Other picks and prospects might need to be required maybe a 2nd and a mid prospect.

Domi @ 3 million AAV for 1 year
Acciari @ 2.25 million AAV over 3 years (better than 2.4 for Kampf)
McLeod @ 1.4 million AAV over 3 years (longer term than he got)
Glendening @ 1 million AAV over 2 years (more than he was offered)

Add offensive agitator to replace Bunting and bring in 3 defensive forwards with physicality, playoff winning experience, FO ability, PK ability and defensive responsibility.

Graves @ 4.5 million AAV over 6 years
Mayfield @ 4.5 million AAV over 6 years (more money in shorter time period)
Schenn @ 2.75 million AAV over 3 years
Gustafsson @ 1 million AAV over 2 years (more than he was offered)

Bring in two huge 6'5" 220 bodies who can shut down opposing players, block shots, throw hits, kill penalties as well as bring back Schenn to do all the same things plus also fight if need be. Keep Gustafsson to play the PP and score points.

Domi / Matthews / Marner
Jarnkrok / Tavares / Nylander
Knies / McLeod / Acciari
Robertson / Glendening / Lafferty

Rielly / Mayfield
Graves / Schenn
Gustafsson / Liljegren
Giordano

Hellebuyck
Woll

Much bigger, more experienced, tougher playoff team to play against with a legit top 5 goalie in net as the last line of defense but still have the big offensive weapons up front. 40 million in available cap space to re-sign Hellebuyck, Nylander and Matthews if the cap doesn't go up, maybe up to 43-45 if it does.

Nylander 8 years @ 9.5 AAV

More than this, trade him to NYR for Trocheck and Schneider.

Matthews 5 years @ 13.34 AAV
Hellbuyck 6 years @ 8.25 AAV

At the trade deadline, the Leafs will need to:

Improve the D, improve the goaltending, bring in a 3C who can win FOs and shutdown top line players. Basically everything that doesn't involve scoring.

If you remember nothing else I said, remember I said this about the 2023-24 Leafs:

Same story as the past 5 years, lots of goals for, lots of goals against and dubious odds of playoff success because the Leafs are slowly but surely becoming the San Jose Sharks; regular season darlings and playoff busts.

- - - - - - - - - - -

THE LEAFS

Forwards:

John Tavares: 31 goals, 42 assists

Mitchell Marner: 32 goals, 71 assists

Auston Matthews: 54 goals, 57 assists

William Nylander: 37 goals, 42 assists

Tyler Bertuzzi: 18 goals, 34 assists (Misses 20 games but not from blood clots)

Max Domi: 21 goals, 38 assists

Calle Jarnkrok: 16 goals, 15 assists

David Kampf: 7 goals, 17 assists

Matthew Knies: 15 goals, 24 assists

Noah Gregor: 8 goals, 9 assists

Nicholas Robertson: 4 goals, 5 assists

Pontus Holmberg: 4 goals, 7 assists

Bobby McCann: Kept the wrong McCann. This one is a pylon.

Sam Lafferty: Unceremoniously traded for a crap return and a crap reason.

Fraser Minten: Had a good camp but won't last the whole season. If he plays more than the max 9 games, it would be a shock and a mistake to burn a year of his ELC when everybody knows a kid his age won't last the whole season as a C on a team trying to win a Cup.

Easton Cowan: Drafted way too early, decent prospect but shouldn't last longer than 9 games. Waste of his ELC. Should be sent back down similar to Minten. It's too much to ask of these kids to jump up so young without the superstar talent to back it up.

Ryan Reaves: Irrelevant. Should have retired. Waste of space in every sense of the word. I don't give a crap if he scores 5 or 6 goals because he's useless 95% of the time the rest of the game and will become the same liability Simmonds was before him when the games matter the most. I hope he proves me wrong but he was washed up when Vegas got rid of him.


Defence

Morgan Rielly: 8 goals, 41 assists

TJ Brodie: 3 goals, 17 assists

John Klingberg: 10 goals, 35 assists, and still -20 (atrocious defensively)

Timothy Liljegren: 7 goals, 19 assists

Jake McCabe: 3 goals, 15 assists and also -20, also atrocious on D

Conor Timmins: 5 goals, 17 assists

Mark Giordano: Probably should retire, he was slow and terrible in the playoffs. 3 goals, 14 assists.


Goalies

Ilya Samsonov: 40 games, 24 W, 13 L, 3 OTSOL, .914 SV% 2.75 GAA

Joseph Woll:: 38 games, 22 W, 14 L, 2 OTSOL, .921 SV% 2.65 GAA

Martin Jones: 6 games, 1W 3L 2 OTSOL .895 SV% 2.95 GAA

Statistically worst goalie in the NHL for the past few years. He's an AHLer unless there's an injury because he's a sieve. Unfortunately, both Woll and Samsonov have a history of injuries so chances are, at some point, we're going to see this guy suit up a few times.

Matt Murray: Irrelevant. Finished with the Leafs.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

THE LEAGUE

Top 3 teams, Atlantic Division (in order):

Leafs, Lightning, Bruins

Top 3 teams, Metro Division (in order):

Hurricanes, Devils, Rangers

Wildcard teams - East:

Penguins, Islanders

That's right; Leafs vs Penguins 1st round. Because Leafs.

Top 3 teams, Central Division (in order):

Avalanche, Stars, Wild

Top 3 teams, Pacific Division (in order):

Oilers, Vegas, Kings

Wildcard teams - West:

Flames, Jets

Last place team overall:

Coyotes. Disgrace of a franchise, pure shame of the entire league.

Most surprising team:

Penguins. Because Leafs.

Most disappointing team:

Panthers. Won't make the playoffs.

My wild, wacky hot-take:

Leafs should have traded Tavares to open up more cap space and spend more money on D and goaltending.

Best player/$:

Bedard

Worst player/$:

Brendan Gallagher

Guy who should have retired instead of playing in 2023-24:

Reaves and Giordano

Art Ross winner:

McDavid

Hart winner:

McDavid

Norris winner:

Makar

Calder winner:

Bedard

Vezina winner:

Sorokin

Richard winner:

McDavid

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --

THE PLAYOFFS

Western Conference winner:

Oilers

Eastern Conference winner:

Hurricanes

Stanley Cup winner:

Oilers (because McDavid)

Conn Smythe Trophy winner:

McDavid

The Leafs will finish: Turd

The main reason for this is: Shrivelling D

The biggest surprise will be: Ottawa

The biggest disappointment will be: Tampa

People think this guy is good, but he sucks (and the reason is): Lillygreen- Soft and Overrated

People think this guy sucks, but he's not so bad (and the reason is): Jones. Will be the #1 in a matter of weeks over the other two Glass Joes.

The best move MLSE did in the off-season was: Bringing in Pure Blood Bert.

If I was GM, I would have: Gone to Pittsburg

At the trade deadline, the Leafs will need to: Add a backup

If you remember nothing else I said, remember I said this about the 2023-24 Leafs:

CHECK YOUR PM!

- - - - - - - - - - -

THE LEAFS

Forwards:

Nick Abruzzese: Handful of games

Tyler Bertuzzi: 35g and a ton of unvaccinated snot

Kyle Clifford: Big Red Dog is done

Easton Cowan: Next year

Max Domi: 20g fan favourite

Max Ellis: Who

Roni Hirvonen: Macaroni plays like a wet noodle.

Pontus Holmberg: Pointless

Calle Jarnkrok: Traded

David Kampf: The Wagen anchors the 4th line

Matthew Knies: Stud

Braeden Kressler: The comedian?

Sam Lafferty: Important and underrated glue guy

Mitchell Marner: Same

Auston Matthews: 50

Fraser Minten: Maybe

William Nylander: Traded

Dmitry Ovchinnikov: Who

Ryan Reaves: Needs to play every game

Nicholas Robertson: Poor Feller just gets hurt

John Tavares: Robidas Island possibly

Ryan Tverberg: How does a guy say that?

Ty Voit: Can’t be a real name Wedgie


Defence

Simon Benoit: Nope

TJ Brodie: Average

Mark Giordano: Rest the poor feller FFS

John Klingberg: Jake Gardiner lite

Mikko Kokkonen: Nope

William Lagesson: Come on

Timothy Liljegren: Pencil Neck

Jake McCabe: Komisarek

Jake Muzzin: RIP

Morgan Rielly: Same

Conor Timmins: If healthy, guy can put up points


Goalies

Martin Jones: #1

Matt Murray: Cap Circumvention

Ilya Samsonov: #2

Joseph Woll: Marlie

Other:

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


My wild, wacky hot-take: Arizona to Atlanta becomes a thing

Art Ross winner: McD

Hart winner: McD

Norris winner: EK

Calder winner: The other Connor

Vezina winner: Helly

Richard winner: McD

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --

THE PLAYOFFS

Western Conference winner: Vancouver

Eastern Conference winner: Toronto

Stanley Cup winner: Vancouver

Conn Smythe Trophy winner: Lafferty

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I am the greatest Leafs fan alive because: I don't think I am actually. I'm not one of the sick fanatics. They scare me.

The Leafs will finish: 1st overall, and win the Cup.

The main reason for this is: I deserve it.

The biggest surprise will be: Reilly has a career year.

The biggest disappointment will be: Despite decades to plan, the parade devolves into dionysan chaos.

People think this guy is good, but he sucks (and the reason is): Christopher Nolan, because his movies are half-baked high concept pompous dogpoop.

People think this guy sucks, but he's not so bad (and the reason is): Nylander, because haters hate him cause they ain't him.

The best move MLSE did in the off-season was: Not trade Nylander.

If I was GM, I would have: Not trade Nylander.

At the trade deadline, the Leafs will need to: Not trade Nylander.

If you remember nothing else I said, remember I said this about the 2023-24 Leafs: Nylander will raise the Cup with the Leafs.


- - - - - - - - - - -

THE LEAFS

Forwards:

Nick Abruzzese: ba

Tyler Bertuzzi: 25/40

Kyle Clifford: ba

Easton Cowan: ba

Max Domi: 20/40

Max Ellis:ba

Roni Hirvonen: ba

Pontus Holmberg:
ba
Calle Jarnkrok: ba

David Kampf: ba

Matthew Knies: 10/20

Braeden Kressler: ba

Sam Lafferty: ba

Mitchell Marner: 35/70

Auston Matthews: 60/60

Fraser Minten: 0/0

William Nylander: 40/60

Dmitry Ovchinnikov: ba

Ryan Reaves: ba

Nicholas Robertson: ba

John Tavares: 30/50

Ryan Tverberg: ba

Ty Voit: ba


Defence

Simon Benoit: ba

TJ Brodie: 5/35

Mark Giordano: 4/20

John Klingberg: 7/37

Mikko Kokkonen: ba

William Lagesson: ba

Timothy Liljegren: 5/28

Jake McCabe: ba

Jake Muzzin: ba

Morgan Rielly: 20/60

Conor Timmins: ba


Goalies

Martin Jones: ba

Matt Murray: ba

Ilya Samsonov: good

Joseph Woll: good

Other: ba

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

THE LEAGUE

Top 3 teams, Atlantic Division (in order): Leafs, Tampa, Boston

Top 3 teams, Metro Division (in order): Devils, Rangers, Hurricanes

Wildcard teams - East: Pittsburgh, Florida

Top 3 teams, Central Division (in order): Avalanche, Stars, Wild

Top 3 teams, Pacific Division (in order): Knights, Oilers, Kings

Wildcard teams - West: Kraken, Jets

Last place team overall: Coyotes

Most surprising team: Leafs

Most disappointing team: Ottawa

My wild, wacky hot-take: Rielly wins Norris

Best player/$: Nylander

Worst player/$: Hellybuck

Guy who should have retired instead of playing in 2023-24: ba

Art Ross winner: Marner

Hart winner: Marner

Norris winner: Rielly

Calder winner: ba

Vezina winner: I don't (frank)ing know, probably some jackoff

Richard winner: Matthews

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --

THE PLAYOFFS

Western Conference winner: Oilers

Eastern Conference winner: Leafs

Stanley Cup winner: Leafs

Conn Smythe Trophy winner: Nylander

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