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Hey Coyotes Fans, Get Ready to Skip Work + Blade Runner

July 16, 2020, 12:52 PM ET [124 Comments]
James Tanner
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The Coyotes playoff schedule for their games against the Nashville Predators has been released, and it is not good.



Not too bad for me, cause I subsist on Eastern Time (the best time, obv), but for those of you who actually live in Arizona you'll have to watch the Coyotes at 11 AM.

Now, for the unemployed, the teetotalers, and Sheryl Crow, that ain't too shabby.

But for us working stiffs who prefer to drink beer with our hockey, but to do so only at hours appropriate to do so, this presents a tough challenge:

Early morning hockey while sober.

Even Rick Tocchet wouldn't bet on that being too much fun.

Still, hockey is hockey and beggers can't be choosers. And since Arizona is a Red State, many people will probably be buzzed off their Presedentially recommended bleach anyways. (For the kids, that's a joke, you can't drink bleach, it will kill you, and even idiots are supposed to know that).

Anyways now we turn our eyes to the countdown.

Top 50 Coyotes Players of All-Time

Who are the top 50 Coyotes of all-time? It's a question that's vexed experts for years. Luckily, I am here to set you straight.


The fourth best Coyotes player to ever don the sacred threads of Carlos, the sacred Arizona Coyote of the night (who many people do not realize the team is named after) is Keith Tkachuk.

Tkachuk is 5th in all-time points, and 13th in games played on the Coyotes all time stats list. (quant hockey.com).


He had his best seasons in Arizona after he came over from Winnipeg as an original. Tkachuck had 52 goals and 86 points in his debut season, and it was arguably the best season in Coyotes history.

Except for his first year in Phoenix, Tkachuk was consistently injured, otherwise he would have had four or five 40 goal seasons.



Top 50 Movies of All-Time

50: Limitless
49: Oh Brother Where Art Though?
48: Role Models
47: the Rock
46: Mission Impossible Franchise
45: Nicholas Cage Man Tetrology
44:Heat
43: The Art of Self Defense
42:Walk Hard
41: The Winter Soldier
40:Taken
39: The 6th Day
38: Groundhog Day
37. The Batman Trilogy - Christopher Nolan
36: Jackie Brown
35: Gremlins
34: Who Framed Roger Rabbit
33: Speed
32: Adventure Land
31: Eyes Wide Shut
30: Semi Pro
29. Endgame/Ragnorak Trilogy
28. Baby Driver
27: Next
26: Keanu
25:Annie Hall
24: Catch Me If You Can
23: Serpico
22: Pop Star: Never Stop Stopping
21: Passenger 57
20: The John Hughes Trilogy
19: MacGruber
18: Source Code
17 Live. Die. Repeat
16. The Lethal Weapon Franchise
15: Paycheck
14: The Fugitive
13: The Prestige
12: Enemy of the State
11: Con Air
10: High Fidelity
09: Zodiac
08: the Terminator
07: the Royal Tannenbaums
06: Face/Off
05: Total Recall


The fourth best movie of all-time is Blade Runner, but only because the top three movies are pretty much set-in-stone and obvious.

Born in 1982, just like me, Blade Runner is an undisputed masterpiece like Leaves of Grass or The Red Wheelbarrow, Pet Sounds or Kid A.

Essentially it is one of the single most important pieces of art in human history. I enjoy watching the top three movies on this list a little more, and that is why I ranked them higher, but none of them top Blade Runner in terms of importance or art or message.

If I wasn't the kind of person who put MacGruber on his top 50, this is where I'd argue that Blade Runner is deserving of legitimately being one of the five best films ever made.

Also, I am pretty sure that makes at least 5 movies on this list that come from Phillip K Dick short stories. This also means I should probably get around to watching A Scanner Darkly.

In conclusion, Blade Runner revieves 10/10 Almeidas which is the highest possible score in anything. If you're curious, Blade Runner 2: Back to the Blade; This Time It's Personal is also a 10/10 and is one of the best sequels ever made.

All hail the mysterious gap.
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