The NHL is nothing if not a league that encourages anyone to think they can make it as a General Manager. While people like to mock fan-suggested trade proposals or make fun of someone's message board player evaluations, the Real NHL proves time and again that being a professional doesn't mean you're not a terrible decision maker.
Take the craziest thing about hockey you've ever seen online and I promise a real-life NHL executive has had a worse idea in the last ten minutes.
It is my belief that the NHL's main problem is that it's built on a system of ex-players who run teams under the belief that being a former player makes you a good manager. While there are certainly times when the two things overlap in the Venn Diagram of NHL Life, in most cases the incestuous nature of hiring from within is one of the worst things about the NHL - and gives forward thinking teams a chance to exploit a massive edge, if they choose to.
Teams are constantly run by group-thinkers surrounded by yes-men who preach things that have been objectively proven false.
This is made worse by the fact that nearly all accredited media are dependent on team access for their careers and as such are barely critical, even when it's clear that errors have been made.
So without further throat clearing, here's your list of worst moves in the NHL this summer.
1.) Oilers Trade Taylor Hall for Adam Larrsson
Quite possibly the worst one for one trade in the history of the league. Larrsson is potentially a great shut-down defender. However, Taylor Hall is perhaps the fastest player in a league where speed becomes more important every year. He is also a top-five 5v5 point producer over the last several years.
5v5 points are probably the best measure of a forwards worth. If this is all you can get for Taylor Hall, don't trade him. It's impossible to believe this is a real trade and hopefully it will soon be revealed as a hilarious prank.
2. The Tepid Reaction to the Trade by the NHL Media
It's possible I missed some write-ups, but I didn't witness one single person from a mainstream media outlet rip this trade or Peter Chiarelli like they deserve. If someone can send me a link that proves me wrong, I'll take it back.
But most people I heard tried to justify both it and the Subban trade.
Even worse was that on the radio I heard about ten different guys say something this stupid: "Well, the stats-crowd will tell you Subban is better than Weber, but I just don't see it. Hockey People will tell you Weber is still one of the best players in the league."
The condescension is annoying and unprofessional, but worse, it's undeserved. There is simply no other thing in the entire world besides professional sports where its acceptable to ignore data that measures what makes whatever you're measuring successful.
3. Montreal Fires Matt Pfeffer
Obviously, after the ridiculous moves they've made this summer (Eller, Subban) the Habs don't need a dissenting voice telling them that all their moves are stupid. They clearly don't listen to the guy, so might as well fire him!
Wow! @EricEngels reports that Habs analytics guy Matt Pfeffer was fired after making impassioned plea to keep Subban https://t.co/VI0UauWfpd
That being said, it's abhorrent that teams may be looking at analytics as a fad. "Hey we hired this guy and didn't win based on his advice." Well, that could be because winning is hard and analytics are about probabilities - you still have to play the games.
Clearly the Canadiens have no need for anyone but a Yes Man and it's a shame too because if you hired my Gramma to make decisions based on astrology and the tingling in her busted hip, you'd probably have a better GM than Marc Bergevin.
O.K, definitely, not probably.
4. The Las Vegas (Insert Likely Lame Team Name Here) Hire George McPhee
Here's an idea: Hire someone young, smart and college educated to run your team.
George McPhee, who's greatest success came from drafting Alex Ovechkin - something literally anyone would have done - is a perfect example of how crappy most NHL teams are run.
"Hey, with the money we can pay, we have our choice of literally any smart young genius in the country."
"No, let's just do what everyone else does and limit our search to the six ex-GMs who view the game like it no longer exists and who aren't good enough for the other 30 teams to hire."
The fact that they considering hiring Don Maloney is all you need to know about how successful this team will be.
It's a shame that when new ways of doing things are starting to really catch on (see Toronto, Florida, Arizona) a new city and a new team with a chance to really do something fresh with no real risk (expansion teams are expected to suck) they do the most NHL thing possible.
5. Everything the Ducks Did
If you were the CEO of a real business and you fired the statistically best person in order to hire the statistically worse person because you had a "feeling," you would be canned so fast you might beat the first guy out of the parking lot.
In the NHL that just means more job security.
McGinn, Pirri, Stewart, Perron - there goes all your depth.
But hey, you got Holzer and Carlyle back, so way to go. It wouldn't surprise me at all if Darren Dregar declared the Ducks to have the best offseason.
6. The Habs
The nicest thing I can say about their moves is that they're very consistent. Trading P.K Subban will haunt them for years.
Even if you completely discount the idea of measurement and recorded observation, the contract alone makes this the kind of move you'd make after you've gone full jogging pants and just decided to be a full-time blogger.
7. Character Assassination
You just can't win with Taylor Hall. If he was any good, he'd be able to overcome the fact it's a team game where he doesn't play 66% of the time, incompetent management, and a lack of defense, goaltender and quality veterans.
P.K Subban just isn't "good in the room"
Seguin parties too much.
The character of "Rafi" on the League is based on Phil kessel, who invented the idea of 'pocket dogs."
In the NHL, it's becoming way too common of a practice to start trashing good young players when teams trade them. Is this teams leaking stuff? Is it fans? Media? Just a coincidence reinforced by my own confirmation bias?
Maybe. But it certainly seems like if you get traded people try to lessen the sting by insinuating that you're a jerk.
8. Awards Voting
At least three people didn't vote for Phil Kessel at all for the Conn Smythe. If you're not going to even consider him as one of the best candidates, then you're way too biased and unprofessional to have a vote.
Erik Karlsson's season was historic. A point per game in 2016 adjusted for the era in which he plays in, turns into something like four-hundred thousand points. Objectively he was the best player in the NHL last year and not making the Playoffs (again, it's a team game) is hardly his fault.
Worse though, was the argument that it's 'not just an offensive award,' as if the defensive difference between him and any other reasonable candidate isn't offset by his points (because, newsflash: he's pretty good defensively). The logic of this argument falls apart though when you see Josi - the most one dimensional defenseman in hockey - ranks fifth in overall voting.
9. Me for whatever Bad Moves I Missed
I'm sure there were some terrible moves I didn't mention. Y'all are usually so shy about telling me when I get something wrong, so by all means, don't be.
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