WE, the fans of the Edmonton Oilers, demand a new hockey rink. Now. Immediately. Today.
Didn't you people approve this expenditure already? Wasn't there a two or three day, around-the-clock meeting, allowing Joe Public to say what a good or bad idea this is? I thought we settled this: The rink is going to cost $450mil to build. The owner was going to contribute about a nickel, and the rest of the cost was coming from tax payers...Actually, that's not exactly true. Daryl Katz was going to pay something like $5mil per year over the next 20 years, but considering the new rink will likely earn him an extra $20mil or more per year, what difference does it make? Don't ask me to provide specifics and accurate information, because I don't actually care about the specifics. Rich and happy owner means the team stays put and perhaps, just perhaps, makes the playoffs again someday. Government should just build the rink and pay the entire bill for it. If anyone asks why, just say "it's good for the economy," like everyone else does.
Do you see the mess you're creating by stalling on the project? Now, the price of the thing is over $450mil, and some cardboard cutout in a suit is warning us the final cost might be 20% higher. Which, of course, it will be, because it always works out that way. As the saying goes, give'em an inch, and they'll take $100mil extra. The longer you drag this out, the more it's gonna cost. Low-life construction business owners and snake-oil land developers figure out a buck can be made from this, and the price goes crazy. Haven't you ever heard about "Blue Harvest"? Pay more attention to how the world works.
Now people are talking about crazy stuff like taking out the underground parking and removing the Oilers Store location. Why? Yes, I know doing those things will save money. We've spoken about this. Who cares about money? Give us a big, ridiculous hockey rink that is the envy of the entire league. Hell, the entire world. Edmonton is more or less the joke city of the NHL. At least give the Oilers the best rink, so players who come here have something to look forward to. Let Hall, Eberle and Nuge park underground if it keeps them here an extra season.
We all know what's about to happen next: City Councillors who are moving ever closer to the next election will begin to waffle on the project. Either the rink will be stalled until after the next election, or the entire thing will be stripped down. What will we have then? Rexall Place 2.0. Do we really want another Rexall Place? Nothing good has ever happened there in the history of the world. OMG, just blow Edmonton up with 1,000 atom bombs if all council is going to build is Rexall Place 2.0. Awful, ugly, useless, evil, hideous building that is. Plus, it's tied to Edmonton Northlands, and those hicks break everything they touch. Don't blame the Chris Pronger thing on Lowe; blame it on Northlands. Idiots.
The other unfortunate by-product of the arena situation going south will be the whining and moaning from the team and the local media. It already began tonight. Did you see the video the Oilers posted?
What a load of manipulative BS! Who is the random guy in the middle, talking about how the City is ruining the rink and will regret it later? If I was a member of the City Council and I saw this video, I'd give the finger to the entire project. Bunch of ingrates. Why do the Oilers and their billionaire owner feel so entitled? I need money too. Hey, City of Edmonton, give me $1mil or I'll keep blogging.
But wait, what am I saying? We want this rink! Why isn't it built yet?
Taxpayers, smaxpayers...Give me a lounge at press box level, where I can roam around during games. Puck bunnies better watch out. Oops, I'm married now. I can't actually verbalize the hotness of puck bunnies. Besides, I'm just a writer...about the closest I'm getting to a puck bunny is an older, yet hairier female version of Jay Feaster. Which could be sexy in the right light, and if I have enough alcohol.
I'm not a taxpayer in the City of Edmonton, but don't let that stop you from doing the right thing here. Just make one of those oversized cheques out to Daryl Katz, and leave the money line blank. Let him write in whatever it takes. $450mil? $550mil? A Bill? It all pretty much tastes the same when it's pour out of the top of the Stanley Cup.
Get on with it, or I'm taking the Gretzky statue. I'm serious.
Edmonton Oilers Blogger • 
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