I am so much looking forward to Woodstock! I am sure I will see Ek there, since he was the one who organized the whole thing.
- Aetherial

True story: Ek met Janis Joplin at Woodstock, and she asked him to go on a date to the 1904 World's Fair in St. Louis, but Ek already had a girlfriend.

True story: Ek met Janis Joplin at Woodstock, and she asked him to go on a date to the 1904 World's Fair in St. Louis, but Ek already had a girlfriend.
- Atomic Wedgie

Shania or Julie?

True story: Ek met Janis Joplin at Woodstock, and she asked him to go on a date to the 1904 World's Fair in St. Louis, but Ek already had a girlfriend.
- Atomic Wedgie

What do you think the Zurich Lions could get for him?

True story: Ek met Janis Joplin at Woodstock, and she asked him to go on a date to the 1904 World's Fair in St. Louis, but Ek already had a girlfriend.
- Atomic Wedgie

You never, never cheat on Shania.

This is what happens when RFA contracts go way up, way to fast. So many teams can't afford to keep up with it.
- aminnes

Unless the RFA is worth the money. Then you just spend less elsewhere

Unless the RFA is worth the money. Then you just spend less elsewhere
- Canada Cup

If it was isolated yes, but this is all over the league now. Teams simply can't afford these guys and not enough teams spend to the cap allowing for more overall money for players. This many stars still unsigned is not good for the league. Especially considering these guys are the future.

Unless the RFA is worth the money. Then you just spend less elsewhere
- Canada Cup

or when my Rangers overpay for players like Panarin

What is David Poile doing during all of this?

I am surprised I did not hear any of this publicly.
- Aetherial

Old David Poile is signing young David Poile to a PTO to scare RFA David Poile. Young David Poile will be running around the old Spectrum while old David Poile will be trying to scare himself into signing a killer offer sheet in Nashville.

FTR... If Ek didn't save the Preds they were all set on moving to Markham. The team would've been called the Markham Moops. George Costanza would've been the GM and the players would've worn all cotton uniforms. Art Vandelay would've been imported and exported to a PTO You won't hear this publicly.

In other news Tampa Steve and Detroit Yzerman are in serious talks regarding RFA Brayden Point. But the 2 are becoming frustrated that nothing is getting done. I'm told that Tampa Steve told Detroit Yzerman to go F himself. Well that was not OK. But we won't hear this publicly. Only on the weekends when no one goes on the internet. More to come fro sure...

True story: Ek met Janis Joplin at Woodstock, and she asked him to go on a date to the 1904 World's Fair in St. Louis, but Ek already had a girlfriend.
- Atomic Wedgie

It was Helen Keller. Ek tried to use her as a source but she never heard anything. They had alot in common.

Shania or Julie?
- Aetherial

Both. This was not OK. Ek wasn't in it for love so Shania kicked him outta here.

Both. This was not OK. Ek wasn't in it for love so Shania kicked him outta here.
- gergeswillems

Old David Poile is signing young David Poile to a PTO to scare RFA David Poile. Young David Poile will be running around the old Spectrum while old David Poile will be trying to scare himself into signing a killer offer sheet in Nashville.

FTR... If Ek didn't save the Preds they were all set on moving to Markham. The team would've been called the Markham Moops. George Costanza would've been the GM and the players would've worn all cotton uniforms. Art Vandelay would've been imported and exported to a PTO You won't hear this publicly.

In other news Tampa Steve and Detroit Yzerman are in serious talks regarding RFA Brayden Point. But the 2 are becoming frustrated that nothing is getting done. I'm told that Tampa Steve told Detroit Yzerman to go F himself. Well that was not OK. But we won't hear this publicly. Only on the weekends when no one goes on the internet. More to come fro sure...
- gergeswillems

Sounds like bedlam to me

Someone please sign marner to an offer sheet at 10.5+ M so we can move on with the 4 1sts and the cap space

It was Helen Keller. Ek tried to use her as a source but she never heard anything. They had alot in common.
- gergeswillems

Someone please sign marner to an offer sheet at 10.5+ M so we can move on with the 4 1sts and the cap space
- TML IS ALL THAT MATTERS

Marner won't sign an offer sheet with any team. It would've happened by now. He wants to remain a Leaf but at his price which isn't going to happen.

The game of chicken continues with Ferris falsely believing he has leverage and doing his usual "my RFA will play in Switzerland" crap. In the end Marner will sign at the Leafs price and life will go on.

Then the spin will come from both sides. Marner never wanted to leave the Leafs. The Leafs never wanted him to leave. Fans will forgive. Marner will score 100 points and no one will remember this contract battle. 😉

You never, never cheat on Shania.
- Canada Cup

Shania hates mayo all right, and she can't eat chicken salad, thats no joke. We gave it to her once, she threw up in the limo - the lady hates chicken salad. So I bring out a bunch of tuna fish sandwiches - she still doesn't believe me - I say, Shania, I'm allergic to mayo - which, by the way, is a lie. Shania still doesn't believe me so I eat two of the sandwiches in front of her to prove it. So she eats one and a half sandwiches, one and a half sandwiches... before she realizes, its chicken salad.

Shania hates mayo all right, and she can't eat chicken salad, thats no joke. We gave it to her once, she threw up in the limo - the lady hates chicken salad. So I bring out a bunch of tuna fish sandwiches - she still doesn't believe me - I say, Shania, I'm allergic to mayo - which, by the way, is a lie. Shania still doesn't believe me so I eat two of the sandwiches in front of her to prove it. So she eats one and a half sandwiches, one and a half sandwiches... before she realizes, its chicken salad.
- potvin05

Okay?

Shania hates mayo all right, and she can't eat chicken salad, thats no joke. We gave it to her once, she threw up in the limo - the lady hates chicken salad. So I bring out a bunch of tuna fish sandwiches - she still doesn't believe me - I say, Shania, I'm allergic to mayo - which, by the way, is a lie. Shania still doesn't believe me so I eat two of the sandwiches in front of her to prove it. So she eats one and a half sandwiches, one and a half sandwiches... before she realizes, its chicken salad.
- potvin05

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that, deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting late.

Okay?
- LeafGuy89

That’s real (frank)ing life poop right there, man.

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that, deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting late.
- Aetherial

Sometimes when I feel like killing someone,
I do a little trick to calm myself down.
I’ll go over to the person’s house and ring the doorbell.
When the person comes to the door, I’m gone,
but you know what I’ve left on the porch?
A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side
of its head with a note that says “You.”
After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done

It was Helen Keller. Ek tried to use her as a source but she never heard anything. They had alot in common.
- gergeswillems

JFC when you’re focussed on being funny you’re one funny focused (frank)er.

Sometimes when I feel like killing someone,
I do a little trick to calm myself down.
I’ll go over to the person’s house and ring the doorbell.
When the person comes to the door, I’m gone,
but you know what I’ve left on the porch?
A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side
of its head with a note that says “You.”
After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done
- potvin05

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that, deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting late.
- Aetherial

And now Deep Thoughts. By Komi Sally...

"I once thought the Toronto Maple Leafs would always be a horrible hockey team. I used to say Hey look mom. You and Dad got married in 1967. Same year as the Leafs won their last Stanley Cup. Mom just looked at me with that familiar disappointed glare I'd seen since birth. But then the Leafs became good again and my Habs stopped winning Stanley Cups. I asked my favourite player Max Domi for an autograph but he just gave me the same disappointed glare my mom always did. I then remembered his dad punching me in the face years earlier when I asked for his autograph."

And now Deep Thoughts. By Komi Sally...

"I once thought the Toronto Maple Leafs would always be a horrible hockey team. I used to say Hey look mom. You and Dad got married in 1967. Same year as the Leafs won their last Stanley Cup. Mom just looked at me with that familiar disappointed glare I'd seen since birth. But then the Leafs became good again and my Habs stopped winning Stanley Cups. I asked my favourite player Max Domi for an autograph but he just gave me the same disappointed glare my mom always did. I then remembered his dad punching me in the face years earlier when I asked for his autograph."


- gergeswillems