dude
- kicksave856

i'm pretty sure he knows about the Habs thread.

i'm pretty sure he knows about the Habs thread.
- Gramps28

I think he's banned...

dude
- kicksave856

frank bob john.

I think he's banned...
- twiztedmitch

what do you mean?

i'm pretty sure he knows about the Habs thread.
- Gramps28

Hello Benny! Bob! John!
Bill.

bobathan.

So (noel) acciari. how good can he be? boston has some good forwards, but i'm not sure how good acciari can be ... Backes is new. Belesky, Marchand, Bergeron ... (frank) vatrano. Vatrano is in the same group as Acciari. not so sure at all.

i'm pretty sure he knows about the Habs thread.
- Gramps28

Gramps28,

I am telling you that you have been very bad to me in potato land. you have posted too many bugs on the thread about the tree. remember not to eat too much. this is unacceptable, so stop bugging me. Rule 1.06.9 is that you may not come up with trade ideas just to see what reactions you get. you will need a password to get into my account on a website that some person named Richard Trednyson made. the website is called donotbugpeople.com.

My account on that website is HockeyFan51, but you will need a password to get in. so i will give you the password, but don't mess anything up. now i will give you the password for my account: 56,0-gh6e83-0p

i didn't put a period there because there is no period in the password, and i didn't want you to get confused. so if you go on all the different NHL teams, here is what you will find on them.

Anaheim Ducks - Rule 6.9.678 says that you have been very mean to the Anaheim Ducks, including an email that you sent to ducks Defenseman, Cam Fowler. it said: Cam, you have to become a good defenseman, because you are so bad at hockey you jerk. that is unacceptable, so for sending that garbage email to Cam Fowler, you will have to pay $600 dollars to the California Rule Making people.

Arizona Coyotes - Rule 365 Says that you may not throw a frying pan at anyone. Arizona Coyotes Forward, Martin Hanzal is probably out until March of 2017, and that is because of you. you threw a frying pan at Martin Hanzal on Saturday, July 23rd, 2016. Don't be bad to anyone. why you did it is still a question.

Boston Bruins - You may not love eating girls. I am not sure if you're a boy or a girl, but if you're a boy, don't start this girls are stupid thing. Girls are just as good as boys. when the GM of the Boston Bruins said that you did something to a girl, people thought that you ate her. it turns out you didn't, but you did something to a group of girls. you might be a boy and you might be a girl, but if you're a boy, you need to learn something about girls. they are not bad. boys and girls are just as valuable to the earth. you must learn that. it isn't just the Bruins' GM, we all know that something happened. you did something bad to some girls.

Buffalo Sabres - You may not make jokes on Facebook about the Sabres being a bad team. they are getting better, okay? you may not be mean to the Sabres. on Facebook, you posted a joke about the sabres being a bad team. nobody knows what it said, but we know that you made a mean joke about them being a bad team. but even if they weren't getting better, it wasn't a funny joke. it was a mean joke, okay? so stop posting bad stuff on Facebook, that was very mean of you. stop these dumb jokes. are you a jerk or what? that was terrible. it wasn't one of those funny jokes, it was very mean. the Sabres players are crying right now i'm sure. it has been reported that a few of them were crying. it said who they were, but i don't know which ones they were.

Calgary Flames - No Rule Breaking With The Flames. you haven't done anything wrong to do with the flames that i know of.

Carolina Hurricanes - Rule 54.86.7..43.6 has been broken, because nobody can know what rule 87.043855.44.93.7.68 is. you tried to figure out what it was. you were unsuccessful, but rule 45.8.3 says that in Carolina there is a hockey team called the Carolina Hurricanes and you aren't allowed to not believe that. that somehow has to do with trying to figure out the secret rule, but nobody knows why. according to rule 87.659.0 you have to pay $10 to the person who made up rule 673.4, and 743.0 does not mean anything just so you know.

Chicago Blackhawks - 54.302.96.7 is nonsense. you are not named 732.60.3. you may want to phone Stan Bowman. he is the GM of the Blackhawks in the NHL. you ate too much lettuce.

Colorado Avalanche - Don't Bully People. [/rule 345.2 was broken by phone 42.42.7/] so [rule 95.3 is don't eat people] you may not bug (people), so bullying is not allowed. you were Bullying an Avalanche player, but we don't know which one. rule 789.4.235 is that you can't do that.

Columbus Blue Jackets - You did something wrong to do with them, but it is unclear what. you must pay $20 to Mr. 84.235.3.546.46453..53.2.4.3223...56.4345.94 until you get eaten. the until you get eaten thing is a joke, but you have to pay him $20.

Dallas Stars - You said that Dallas Stars Defenseman, Patrick Nemeth is the best player to ever play in the NHL. you were probably making a joke saying that he's a bad player. that is mean. you will have to pay $75 to Patrick Nemeth.

Detroit Red Wings - No Rule Breaking to do with the red wings. everything is fine to do with them for now.

Edmonton Oilers - You Almost killed oilers forward, Benoit Pouliot. you hit him with a knife. he is fine, but since you could have thrown his life away, you will pay him a lot of money. $10,000 to be exact. ten-thousand dollars. that is how bad that was. you will be in jail from Oct 1st until Nov 10th. any holidays you may come out of jail for the day. you only go to jail for that long because you didn't kill him, but you will go there because you tried to kill him. you should be there for a year probably but you aren't for some reason.

Florida Panthers - 76483953.26.453chuwio5tj34t.4f3.ty is what you did. you did that wrong whatever that means. that has 50% chance being something to do with the florida panthers. you did something bad.

Los Angeles Kings - You went and talked to a kings fan and you spoiled Harry Potter for him. you told him something that he wasn't supposed to know yet about book 6, and he had only read the first 4. the full books, and none of the fifth one yet. there is 7 books in that series. it was a spoiler, and not a joke. it was something that actually happened. you should be dead by now because of all the stuff you're done.

Minnesota Wild - you ate a Wild fan. okay fine i'm just kidding, but you did call a wild fan a junk head. you may not do that. rule 73.4 says that you can't call a Minnesota Wild fan a Junk Head.

Montreal Canadiens - you freaked out in bed about the alexander Radulov Signing with Montreal. you didn't want him to sign there. you broke rule 54.8. the period at the end of that is not part of the rule, it was just the sentence ending period. but anyway, you have to pay the earth $5, okay?

Nashville Predators - According to Nashville Predators Defenseman, Roman Josi, you ate too much Chocolate. rule 320.56 says that you can't ignore rule 21.5.7 which says that you can't ignore rule 2.3 which says that you can't eat too much chocolate.

New Jersey Devils - You Punched a Player For the New Jersey Devils in the face. that was mean. rule 43.0 says that you can't punch a Player for the Devils in the face, so stop breaking rules. it is unclear who it was.

New York Islanders - You were being mean to an islanders fan named Bob about the fact that the Islanders lost Kyle Okposo and Frans Nielsen for nothing. don't do that. 43875092hyafugu28.34 is nonsense just so you know. you cheater.

New York Rangers - For all the stuff you've done, you have to Pay the GM of the NY Rangers of the National Hockey League $50. why it's him is unclear.

Ottawa Senators - You Called Bobby Ryan a Mean name.

Philadelphia Flyers - rule 74.302.9 says that you can not eat anyone. you killed a dog and ate him. don't be a jerk. you brought the dog back to life though, so you won't go to jail. but you will still pay $1,000. it wasn't funny.

Pittsburgh Penguins - Rule 2392042.5343 says that you may not ask someone if they want to go to a Restaurant with them if they are a Stranger. you did that with a Man named Steve Bofinsen, so you broke the rules. Pittsburgh Penguins Forward, Evgeni Malkin says that he saw you do that in St. Louis, but we know you did it anyway.

San Jose Sharks - You said that cats are stupid. that is being a jerk. San Jose Sharks forward, Tommy Wingels was there and he said, "Don't be mean." rule 2324.438 says that you can not say that about cats. you broke the rules and for thinking that all of one animal is bad, you will pay $2,000 to the people that make the rules in San Jose, because that was where it was. maybe you know a cat that is mean, but everyone is different, so that was stupid. that doesn't mean that all cats are mean. that was the wrong thing to do for sure. that was so dumb. use your brain. what is it about cats? are you allergic to cats? that doesn't mean they're stupid. you're acting like cats aren't alive, and that they're just there. that is not true. did you know that? yes, you did. so just stop it. you're using your brain, right? this is stupid. what have you been doing? garbage? well you haven't been doing garbage, because that is probably incorrect grammar. Thanks to Tommy Wingels, but you were still being mean to cats. don't you understand that just because you're a human humans and cats are just as good? i'm sure you would't like it if you found out that a cat said that humans were stupid in cat language. just so you know that was stupid. you won't go to jail, but as i already said, you're paying $2,000. do you understand life? yes. this was very bad, so use your brain next time. this is stupid. are you a jerk or something? hopefully not. i'm not trying to be mean, but you did something wrong.

St. Louis Blues - No Rule Breaking Here. you did nothing wrong to do with the St. Louis Blues.

Tampa Bay Lightning - You said that Steven Stamkos is a bad player, but not only you said that someone is a bad player, you said that about a Superstar, so of course he's not a bad player. rule 535894.545.34 says that you can not be mean to players for the Tampa Bay Lightning.

Toronto Maple Leafs - you didn't break any rules here. all's good with your rule breaking and the Maple Leafs together.

Vancouver Canucks - you called the Sedin Twins Stupid. that was the wrong this to do, okay?

Washington Capitals - Nothing wrong. all's good here, okay? nothing bad that you did to do with the Capitals.

Winnipeg Jets - Rule 34543.545.232.000.50.0 says that you can not punch Blake Wheeler in the face, but you punched Winnipeg Jets forward, Blake Wheeler in the face. you seriously punched him in the face. you will pay Wheeler $60 for doing that.

so in the end, you were very bad. you must learn a lesson. those things that you did are unacceptable, okay? you are doing lots of things wrong. you have been VERY bad, okay? you're not supposed to do what you were doing. stop being bad.

what you have been doing is unacceptable. so on my account on donotbugpeople.com, you can click on the thing that says, What I'd Change In The World. on there, you will find something about the fact that i don't like bad people.

i can help you be a good person, okay? you are a person where if you learn some stuff, you can be a VERY good person, but right now, you have been very bad.

don't be a bully, okay? you must understand all of this. please, can you understand this please? please? i don't want to to do all this stuff that you shouldn't be doing. i just want you to stop. i hope it's a deal. you may or not agree, but i hope that you stop it. i don't want you to be mean, okay? i'm trying to stop you. i hope this helps, because you did all that bad stuff. hopefully you don't have to work to get all the money that you have to pay, but if you do or not or whatever, you are paying a lot of money. i hope this helps.

thejonathans

you hear that gramps?

you can be a VERY good person, but right now, you have been very bad.

you hear that gramps?

you can be a VERY good person, but right now, you have been very bad.
- twiztedmitch

and in the long post that i made, i fixed a typo. it said the people that make the rules is san jose. i changed is to in.

I got an email from the GM of the bruins after i emailed him a trade idea.

this was the idea.

Patrice Bergeron for Ryan Suter.

I got an email from the GM of the bruins after i emailed him a trade idea.

this was the idea.

Patrice Bergeron for Ryan Suter.
- thejonathans

Here is the email:

Here is the email:
- thejonathans

Don Sweeny,

I have emailed you to tell you about a trade idea that i have come up with. you'd trade patrice bergeron to the minnesota wild for ryan suter. i hope this trade happens.
Thanks!
rangers and islanders fan

PS: I'm just saying that i am a hockey fan and my favourite teams are the rangers and the islanders tied.

Don Sweeny,

I have emailed you to tell you about a trade idea that i have come up with. you'd trade patrice bergeron to the minnesota wild for ryan suter. i hope this trade happens.
Thanks!
rangers and islanders fan

PS: I'm just saying that i am a hockey fan and my favourite teams are the rangers and the islanders tied.
- thejonathans

that was the email i sent him. here is the reply i got:

that was the email i sent him. here is the reply i got:
- thejonathans

Hello Fan,

I have emailed you to tell you that you have been very bad. you have come here and posted a random email. stop giving me trade emails, okay? why ask for what you did? because you said you were a NYR and NYI fan.

please don't send me garbage. this was stupid. what in the world are you doing? are you a jerk or what? have you heard of not going over the top to do what you have to do? because you don't understand. you talked about losing what would be terrible to lose and is maybe the most important piece of something that i have been working on, and ... hopefully you understand this.

This is trash. this is garbage. are you just a jerk who likes being sneaky and everything? do you like being bad or what? rule 1 with emailing people to ask for something to happen that you want to happen is, well ... don't do it. don't do it is rule 1 in that. maybe rule 1.1, 1.2, etc. maybe 0.something, but nobody knows. i don't know how this number-rule thing works.

i am asking you for something simple. what you have done is unacceptable, and you, you my friend, not really ... well, is this just me, or do people say you my friend? i'm not sure, but anyway, you my not really friend, must learn not to randomly send all this stuff.

if you want to do this, you still can't. i am not accepting this garbage. you. what have you done? this is so dumb. just stop it now. you!

if you keep doing this, i will talk to all the team owners and ask them to make a rule where you go to jail or pay money for doing this. but it's not their decision and whoever it is who makes those rules wouldn't do that, because they'd say, "stupid. it's the wrong thing to do i guess, but nothing happens for that like you guys say." so just don't do it. just stop it please. if you keep doing this, i will send an email which will make you start crying because i called you mean names or something. then, since you can have fun without doing this, we can just both be happy.

thank you!
Don Sweeny
General Manager of the Boston Bruins

Okay, this whole emailing the Bruins GM thing is a joke, but Suter for Bergeron is a trade idea that i've come up with. who agrees with my trade idea?

Does anyone want to talk about fake emails from GMs? i have one. here is a fake email that i sent to the GM of the Penguins. i didn't really send this, but this is it:

Does anyone want to talk about fake emails from GMs? i have one. here is a fake email that i sent to the GM of the Penguins. i didn't really send this, but this is it:
- thejonathans

Jim,

I am a hockey fan, and i'm just saying that you might want to look at trading one or two of Evgeni Malkin, Kris Letang, and Sidney Crosby.
Thanks!

Jim,

I am a hockey fan, and i'm just saying that you might want to look at trading one or two of Evgeni Malkin, Kris Letang, and Sidney Crosby.
Thanks!
- thejonathans

here is a pretend reply i got from him:

here is a pretend reply i got from him:
- thejonathans

Hello!

I might do this, but it seems unlikely. we won the cup with them, and we might want to go for the cup one more year. i think you probably think we just had one good year, but i think we're a really good team. thanks for the idea, but i think i just want to do this myself.

if we trade Crosby, we'll obviously want a lot for him, like Jamie Benn. and he's obviously unavailable. teams likely won't want to give up what we're asking for. i will ask you not to send me any more emails about what you want me to do.

232.546.3 is the thing. rule 23.4 is that you may not do things in New York State without having at least 20 people that were born there telling you that you can UNLESS you were born there too.

Rules in BC: [rule 24.34.3: no messing around with phones] you may not call random phone numbers like 6045409738, because that is not allowed. you must understand that.

Rules in Minnesota: [no bullying] we all know that you may not be a bully anywhere. in Minnesota or not, you can't be a bully/mean person. [Rule 43.432.24305]

okay, the three paragraphs before this is all a joke, but you may not send me more emails about this unless it's a really helpful thing with the team. there are only some things that i will accept in an email about what i should do as a GM, and you fan, hopefully you don't mind the joke.

Thanks
Jim Rutherford
GM of the Pittsburgh Penguins

this is the one and only place where nonsense is allowed.

bananas?
- kicksave856

kicksave856, are you a hug?

Enough with this nonnonsense. There is a New York Rangers forum to discuss how thejonathans became a New York Rangers fan. That is where you should go to discuss thejonathans being a New York Rangers fan.

This is a nonsense forum only.
- twiztedmitch

where is that thread? i couldn't find it.

News:

The Edmonton Oilers Have Traded Jordan Eberle to the Florida Panthers for Keith Yandle and a 3rd round pick in 2017.

The Panthers then trade Jordan Eberle to the Oilers for Keith Yandle and FLA's 3rd round pick in 2017 which they got in a trade that sent Jordan Eberle to Florida in exchange for Keith Yandle and this pick.

News:

The Edmonton Oilers Have Traded Jordan Eberle to the Florida Panthers for Keith Yandle and a 3rd round pick in 2017.

The Panthers then trade Jordan Eberle to the Oilers for Keith Yandle and FLA's 3rd round pick in 2017 which they got in a trade that sent Jordan Eberle to Florida in exchange for Keith Yandle and this pick.
- thejonathans

Just Kidding!

I think he's banned...
- twiztedmitch

twiztedmitch,

Please do not break rules. rule 43.234 is not to break rule 432.575.3 which means that you must not bob. in he end when you add 843.253 squared to 4381.3124.5, you are a bug. 6/7 324/6.04 is what you mean in rule 54335.435.67 which is don't be bad.

then in the end you must pay $898748 unless you take away half of 432.32, and 542.4124 will bug. 432583 and then 52950803, then you must 4325.4356.4 and 5/7. i know that 542.3 means 5/4 which is 41.4 in phone numbers. in your car you add 54.3 and 43635436.697.4...424..567.5 you must know that 54547567456754 is the number.

please understand.

thejonathans
hockey-talk maker of hockeybuzz.com