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Forums :: Misc. Lounge :: Things I Now Understand
Author Message
Gramps28
Chicago Blackhawks
Location: Double poop your best players everyone!, IL
Joined: 07.09.2014

Jan 15 @ 9:37 PM ET
perfect. let's not do this.
- kicksave856

perfect. if that's a plan i want no part of it.
twiztedmike
Toronto Maple Leafs
Joined: 10.06.2007

Jan 16 @ 6:21 AM ET
perfect. if that's a plan i want no part of it.
- Gramps28

I'm here for the master plan
D0PPELGANGER
Ottawa Senators
Location: Ottawa, ON
Joined: 05.06.2015

Jan 23 @ 1:40 PM ET
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Alberta when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ...

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel®
spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Member of Parliament for the Canadian Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars’ worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog.
kicksave856
Philadelphia Flyers
Location: i love how not saying dumb things on the internet was never an option.
Joined: 09.29.2005

Jan 23 @ 1:53 PM ET
summary
watsonnostaw
Atlanta Thrashers
Location: Dude has all the personality of a lump of concrete. Just a complete lizard.
Joined: 06.26.2006

Jan 23 @ 1:59 PM ET
summary
- kicksave856

the Canadian school killings are the fault of obama
D0PPELGANGER
Ottawa Senators
Location: Ottawa, ON
Joined: 05.06.2015

Jan 23 @ 2:01 PM ET
kicksave856
Philadelphia Flyers
Location: i love how not saying dumb things on the internet was never an option.
Joined: 09.29.2005

Jan 23 @ 2:01 PM ET
the Canadian school killings are the fault of obama
- watsonnostaw

cool
PhillySportsGuy
Philadelphia Flyers
Location: any donut with a hole in the middle can get (frank)ed right in its hole, NJ
Joined: 04.08.2012

Jan 23 @ 2:18 PM ET
summary
- kicksave856


The government gonna take all your cows
D0PPELGANGER
Ottawa Senators
Location: Ottawa, ON
Joined: 05.06.2015

Jan 23 @ 2:19 PM ET

Canada ranks as the second best country globally, according to the inaugural list of the world’s best countries released Wednesday at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland.

Germany #1
Canada #2
UK #3
USA #4.

http://www.usnews.com/news/best-countries


watsonnostaw
Atlanta Thrashers
Location: Dude has all the personality of a lump of concrete. Just a complete lizard.
Joined: 06.26.2006

Jan 23 @ 2:20 PM ET
The government gonna take all your cows
- PhillySportsGuy

is it true that canada is basically the step daughter of england?
watsonnostaw
Atlanta Thrashers
Location: Dude has all the personality of a lump of concrete. Just a complete lizard.
Joined: 06.26.2006

Jan 23 @ 2:21 PM ET
Canada ranks as the second best country globally, according to the inaugural list of the world’s best countries released Wednesday at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland.

Germany #1
Canada #2
UK #3
USA #4.

http://www.usnews.com/news/best-countries

- D0PPELGANGER



see, Nazi Germany plowed the path to global dominance albeit 70+ years in the making

#siegheil
Feeling Glucky?
Toronto Maple Leafs
Location: Tanktown, ON
Joined: 10.08.2008

Jan 23 @ 2:37 PM ET
Canada ranks as the second best country globally, according to the inaugural list of the world’s best countries released Wednesday at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland.

Germany #1
Canada #2
UK #3
USA #4.

http://www.usnews.com/news/best-countries

- D0PPELGANGER

Likely has to do with not keeping a conservative government in power.
watsonnostaw
Atlanta Thrashers
Location: Dude has all the personality of a lump of concrete. Just a complete lizard.
Joined: 06.26.2006

Jan 23 @ 2:45 PM ET
Likely has to do with not keeping a conservative government in power.
- Feeling Glucky?

or being the hat of the United States of America
D0PPELGANGER
Ottawa Senators
Location: Ottawa, ON
Joined: 05.06.2015

Jan 23 @ 3:14 PM ET
is it true that canada is basically the step daughter of england?
- watsonnostaw



Or perhaps the legitimate child of England & France.
D0PPELGANGER
Ottawa Senators
Location: Ottawa, ON
Joined: 05.06.2015

Jan 23 @ 3:14 PM ET
watsonnostaw
Atlanta Thrashers
Location: Dude has all the personality of a lump of concrete. Just a complete lizard.
Joined: 06.26.2006

Jan 23 @ 5:43 PM ET
gramps has a shovel and wants to gtfo of idaho.


match made in heaven.
- dt99999
PhillySportsGuy
Philadelphia Flyers
Location: any donut with a hole in the middle can get (frank)ed right in its hole, NJ
Joined: 04.08.2012

Jan 23 @ 8:10 PM ET
kicksave856
Philadelphia Flyers
Location: i love how not saying dumb things on the internet was never an option.
Joined: 09.29.2005

Jan 23 @ 8:11 PM ET

- PhillySportsGuy

wow
BingoLady
Montreal Canadiens
Location: Ultimate Warrior, NB
Joined: 07.15.2009

Jan 23 @ 8:23 PM ET

- PhillySportsGuy

wore it to support Tom Brady
watsonnostaw
Atlanta Thrashers
Location: Dude has all the personality of a lump of concrete. Just a complete lizard.
Joined: 06.26.2006

Jan 23 @ 10:14 PM ET
wore it to support Tom Brady
- BingoLady

tom brady has no clue as to who the old coot is
dt99999
Montreal Canadiens
Location: wow, hope that's sarcasim
Joined: 11.18.2008

Jan 24 @ 2:26 PM ET
My body may no longer be able to handle running 3 practices a week, playing shinny for hours on thursday, saturday and Sunday and 3-on-3 pickup on Sunday nights.
twiztedmike
Toronto Maple Leafs
Joined: 10.06.2007

Jan 24 @ 5:44 PM ET
My body may no longer be able to handle running 3 practices a week, playing shinny for hours on thursday, saturday and Sunday and 3-on-3 pickup on Sunday nights.
- dt99999

be less fat
watsonnostaw
Atlanta Thrashers
Location: Dude has all the personality of a lump of concrete. Just a complete lizard.
Joined: 06.26.2006

Jan 24 @ 9:00 PM ET
wore it to support Tom Brady
- BingoLady

that worked out well
D0PPELGANGER
Ottawa Senators
Location: Ottawa, ON
Joined: 05.06.2015

Jan 25 @ 9:17 AM ET
twiztedmike
Toronto Maple Leafs
Joined: 10.06.2007

Jan 28 @ 9:59 PM ET
John Scott winning an All-Star ballot is a lot like Trump winning the election
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