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One of the Best Games of All-Time

November 8, 2019, 1:23 PM ET [18 Comments]
James Tanner
Arizona Coyotes Blogger • RSSArchiveCONTACT
After taking points in three straight games, the Coyotes lost to the Blue Jackets last night by a score of 3-2.

Coyotes vs Blue Jackets on a Thursday night is not exactly a marquee matchup, but if you did tune in, you were treated to one of the best games of all time.

It all began with the Coyotes returning from western Canada where they hit Barb's in the West Edmonton Mall to re-up on the team perms they all got a few weeks ago.

With everyone permed up to the max, things were looking good, but they soon fell victims to the Blue Jackets, who had lost their equipment on the way in, and had to play in borrowed equipment and Coyotes practice jerseys with the logo taped over with masking tape, and a hastily drawn Blue Jackets symbol done up in sharpie.

The game got off to a strange start when a black cat appeared and ran around the ice. Then Kawai showed up at intermission to defend his load management.

In the second period there was a brawl between the referees over a disagreement with the P.A announcers pronunciation of "Chychrun."

In the third, Gary Bettman showed up to award the Blue Jackets with the award for playing with the most players in a game that no one had ever heard of.

A surprise appearance of Jeremy Roenick was ruined when a protest broke out over an old video of him throwing a snake off a cliff.

A scorpion got loose on the ice which I know happens all the time, but this was notable because instead of a scantily clad cheerleader with a broom chasing it down, a man in a Mortal Kombat Scorpion Uniform appeared to perform a fatality on the little SOB.

After than Shane Doan came out of retirement for a while, scored a hatrick and the Coyotes won.

Oh wait, they lost.

I have to admit, I was watching an Always Sunny marathon with my wife (shout out for the amazing episode "The Gang Texts" ) and forgot to set my PVR.

I believe that the Blue Jackets did win, and that the rest was a dream brought on by an overdose of Mountain Dew.
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