Forgive me! I shall repent for my sins!.

Will 20 prayers to the almighty Larsson suffice for my crimes against humanity? I shall also offer 5 goats and two cattle, for that is all I have right now...
- EdmHockeyMan

Nay, Larsson (praise be unto him) is a forgiving lord. He shall not strip thee of thine capacity to eat. All you need do is rub your left nipple thrice upon the turn of the hour reciting this holy verse:

female doges ain't poop but hoes and tricks
Lick on these nuts and suck the Richard
Gets the (frank) out after you're done
And I hops in my ride to make a quick run

Praise be unto his sacred holiness, Larsson the Divine!

Damn, that font must have been incredibly small.
- laughs2907

Well, it was written in Wingdings so it's just a bunch of circles. I believe they were tattooed on there to accentuate the aforementioned genital warts.

Nay, Larsson (praise be unto him) is a forgiving lord. He shall not strip thee of thine capacity to eat. All you need do is rub your left nipple thrice upon the turn of the hour reciting this holy verse:



Praise be unto his sacred holiness, Larsson the Divine!
- MaximumBone

Thank you oh merciful Larsson (praise be unto him)!

I will follow the instructions provided and hope for the best!

Well, Calgary is known to have great infrastructure...




- EdmHockeyMan

Wow...

Wow...

- geta02it

Awesome! I thoroughly enjoyed reading that and I agree with all of it.

Thanks Hendo.

- Mr.Bobby

Hillary Clinton goes to a gifted-student primary school in New York to talk about the world. After her talk she offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is. "Kenneth," he says.

"And what is your question, Kenneth?" she asks.

"I have three questions," he says.
"First -- whatever happened in Benghazi?
"Second -- why would you run for president if you are not capable of handling two e-mail accounts?
"And, third -- whatever happened to the missing six billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?"

Just then the bell rings for recess. Hillary informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume Hillary says, "Okay, where were we? Oh, that's right, question time.
Who has a question?"

A different boy -- little Johnny -- puts his hand up.

Hillary points to him and asks him what his name is.
"Johnny," he says.

"And what is your question, Johnny?" she asks.

"I have five questions," he says.

"First -- whatever happened in Benghazi?
"Second -- why would you run for president if you are not capable of handling two e-mail accounts?
"Third -- whatever happened to the missing six billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?
"Fourth -- why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
"And, fifth -- where's Kenneth?"

Hows things been with you?

As far as HallFan goes I was under the assumption that since we traded Hall that he was going to go to the Devils board as part of the deal
- RatedR80

We were putting it to a vote. As I recall its 3 votes for relocation and only 1 against.

Those heretics down in Anaheim seem reluctant to commit to 'Pillar Hampus' so perhaps we'd be wise to pursue yet another pillar for our formidable branch.
- MaximumBone

As Chief Cleric of the Unorthodox Church of Larsson, it is up to you to put forth candidates for possible Pillar canonization.
Yet I would hesitate to cast aside Pillar Hampus for I suspect the heretics in California suffer more from cheap masters than lack of faith. Should it become possible I'd suggest Pillar Hampus be relocated to the North to reside will fellow Pillar Klefbom.

This also applies to Zombies.

But, I was told by a barstool profit that Gingers can handle physical pain more than those with Souls.

Unless you are talking about sunburns, cause that poop is your kryptonite.
- DuranDuran

That is kind of interesting because I have read about our people being more sensitive to pain due to a lack of melanin receptors or some poop like that. All I know is that pain meds don't work the same on me as most, and when I had knee surgery 5 years ago I could still feel the incision after the spinal and needed an additional local anesthetic. I also learned a long time ago to wear lots of clothing in the sun.

Well at 28 he should start feeling like sh1t, and will probably be useless 15-20 games in, as he's pretty much ancient. 5 years into his contract (at age 32) he'll likely be inducted to Genius World Records as the oldest professional athlete alive... The Oilers will keep him around as some sort of mascot.
- laughs2907

(frank) what I wouldn't give to feel like it is to be 28 again. At that age it took an actual effort to get hungover and sprains and strains seemed to heal overnight.....not so much anymore

That is kind of interesting because I have read about our people being more sensitive to pain due to a lack of melanin receptors or some poop like that. All I know is that pain meds don't work the same on me as most, and when I had knee surgery 5 years ago I could still feel the incision after the spinal and needed an additional local anesthetic. I also learned a long time ago to wear lots of clothing in the sun.
- leonkennedy

Yet when the failing sun falls, the clothes disappear and your nightly sojourn into the unspeakable darkness begins anew.

At least I'm guessing thats what gingers do in their off time.

Yet when the failing sun falls, the clothes disappear and your nightly sojourn into the unspeakable darkness begins anew.

At least I'm guessing thats what gingers do in their off time.
- Wildschwein

I don't think so cause our skin on the bare arse is like a pair of headlights at night

I don't think so cause our skin on the bare arse is like a pair of headlights at night
- leonkennedy

Fun fact. The Luftwaffe discovered in WW2 that best colour schemes for their night fighter fleet was an off grey/white. These patterns were actually harder to see at night than the previous all black colour scheme.



So I'm afraid your white ass excuse holds little water.

Fun fact. The Luftwaffe discovered in WW2 that best colour schemes for their night fighter fleet was an off grey/white. These patterns were actually harder to see at night than the previous all black colour scheme.



So I'm afraid your white ass excuse holds little water.
- Wildschwein

I don't know about Leon, but that's DEFINITELY the exact colour of my butthole.

Agreed. Playoffs have to be the ultimate goal this year.

NYR?
- Oilfan19

Yeah. No one else thinks the Rangers are about to sink hard? 26th PK in the league, 15 th GA. They rely heavily on goals for and they just don't have the depth. Yes Vesey signed with him and I am sure that is going to make them great but Stepan has really looked unimpressive as time goes on. He is decent but not looking like a number 1 center on a playoff team. They have 3 okay centers but none are amazing. They rely heavily on Zucc and he is small and inconsistent. He just seems out muscled in so many plays. He is now their top winger opposite Nash who showed the last 2 years that his best days are behind him. I like Lundquist and Staal is solid. I think Klien is going to out play McDonagh soon.

Can't help but think the Islanders, Boston and Montreal aren't going to be the only teams finishing higher in the east than them. If Ek is finally right about any of his rumors and NJ actually adds one or two top dmen, they are looking better than the rangers too. Nj is not terrible. Imagine Fowler and Shattenkirk added. I am not thinking they are taking the cup but they are definitely a playoff team.

Edit:
Looked it up. They get mid range odds on most betting sites. Same odds as NYI and BOS. Montreal is both below and above them depending on the site. No love for NJ but I don't expect any unless Ek's rumor turns out.

Agreed. Come to NL, and fight the good fight with me.
- laughs2907

They don't like my people over there.

- Mr.Bobby

Rutts was cute as a little terrorist

I don't know about Leon, but that's DEFINITELY the exact colour of my butthole.
- MaximumBone

Odd. I had thought your's would be bleached.

Fun fact. The Luftwaffe discovered in WW2 that best colour schemes for their night fighter fleet was an off grey/white. These patterns were actually harder to see at night than the previous all black colour scheme.



So I'm afraid your white ass excuse holds little water.
- Wildschwein

You missed the part where I said like headlights. They actually are so white they emit light. I'll PM you a selfie of my ass so you can see.

You missed the part where I said like headlights. They actually are so white they emit light. I'll PM you a selfie of my ass so you can see.
- leonkennedy

By "ass" you actually mean "junk"

You missed the part where I said like headlights. They actually are so white they emit light. I'll PM you a selfie of my ass so you can see.
- leonkennedy

Nah I'll just fire up Pornhub. Pretty sure you're in there somewhere.

Yeah. No one else thinks the Rangers are about to sink hard? 26th PK in the league, 15 th GA. They rely heavily on goals for and they just don't have the depth. Yes Vesey signed with him and I am sure that is going to make them great but Stepan has really looked unimpressive as time goes on. He is decent but not looking like a number 1 center on a playoff team. They have 3 okay centers but none are amazing. They rely heavily on Zucc and he is small and inconsistent. He just seems out muscled in so many plays. He is now their top winger opposite Nash who showed the last 2 years that his best days are behind him. I like Lundquist and Staal is solid. I think Klien is going to out play McDonagh soon.

Can't help but think the Islanders, Boston and Montreal aren't going to be the only teams finishing higher in the east than them. If Ek is finally right about any of his rumors and NJ actually adds one or two top dmen, they are looking better than the rangers too. Nj is not terrible. Imagine Fowler and Shattenkirk added. I am not thinking they are taking the cup but they are definitely a playoff team.

Edit:
Looked it up. They get mid range odds on most betting sites. Same odds as NYI and BOS. Montreal is both below and above them depending on the site. No love for NJ but I don't expect any unless Ek's rumor turns out.
- Hall Fan

I'm not a NYR fan so I'll leave them to defend their own squad. What I do know is that their fan base by and large, are far more optimistic about their upcoming season than you seem to be.
And while I and everyone else will admit that Nash is coming off a less than stellar season, the year before that he posted 40+ goals and damn near 70 points. Not really a down year as you say, and I'd hardly write him off after one bad year. Look where that got us with Dubnyk.