You telling me that wouldn't have been fun to watch?

Because last year was an absolute poop show. It was a fat couple in a restaurant fighting over dessert - you were there, it was happening right in front of you, and you were kinda curious in a poopy kinda way, but watching it made you sick and horrified, and you felt ashamed afterwards.

It's the fat-shaming that unites us all.
- Atomic Wedgie

I actually love the analogy. Well done.

Like I have been saying... This season was about establishing babcocks rule. Players known for doing as they please and not following the coach's message will be shown the door, and quickly.

I would like to propose the new alliance between atomic_wedgie and myself be known as

Wench

He wasn't great with Malkin or Crosby. I don't think be is a good secondary piece on a line.
- Aetherial

Funny thing is, when the trade first happened, there was a raging debate on the Penguins thread: should he play with Kessel or Malkin?

I suggested he should play with neither - the dude generates his own offense.

Yes, I'm a genious.

You telling me that wouldn't have been fun to watch?

Because last year was an absolute poop show. It was a fat couple in a restaurant fighting over dessert - you were there, it was happening right in front of you, and you were kinda curious in a poopy kinda way, but watching it made you sick and horrified, and you felt ashamed afterwards.

It's the fat-shaming that unites us all.
- Atomic Wedgie

I laughed as you described the scene.

I felt no shame.

It is the sociopathy that unites us all.

I would like to propose the new alliance between atomic_wedgie and myself be known as

Wench
- AdamFrench

Would the purpose of this alliance be for professional wrestling or to fight evil criminal geniuses?

Funny thing is, when the trade first happened, there was a raging debate on the Penguins thread: should he play with Kessel or Malkin?

I suggested he should play with neither - the dude generates his own offense.

Yes, I'm a genious.
- Atomic Wedgie

you spelled genital wrong.

You guys focus too much on stats

That value of the culture change that occurred once kessel was moved is what was worth the most to the leafs. They needed to make a immediate trade to show players, staff, sponsors, and fans that the shanahan rebuild was real.
- Dozzer

the leafs got 3 unknown assets.. i find it odd people have determined already the leafs did not get enough.

I suppose seeing Kessel help the pens get to the 3rd round tilts the trade so far..but we knew kessel was an elite scoring talent.. he can help a team

you spelled genital wrong.
- Aetherial

When it comes to Wedgie, you can't spell "genital" without I.O.U.

Would the purpose of this alliance be for professional wrestling or to fight evil criminal geniuses?
- Atomic Wedgie

I think we can do both.

The flux capacitor is warmed up - just need to go to Fusion R Us to get the 1.21 gigawatts.
- Atomic Wedgie

Is that Kadri and his brother's chasing us in an old model van?

Funny thing is, when the trade first happened, there was a raging debate on the Penguins thread: should he play with Kessel or Malkin?

I suggested he should play with neither - the dude generates his own offense.

Yes, I'm a genious.
- Atomic Wedgie

That's because Kessel likes to enter the zone with the puck on his stick. So does pretty much every good center in the league.

You know who else does this? Matthews. Kessel playing with him would yield the same poor results as when he played with Crosby or Malkin.

Right now the penguins are paying a whole lot of money for a third line winger.

Is that Kadri and his brother's chasing us in an old model van?
- The Law

Oh no you di'int.

Funny thing is, when the trade first happened, there was a raging debate on the Penguins thread: should he play with Kessel or Malkin?

I suggested he should play with neither - the dude generates his own offense.

Yes, I'm a genious.
- Atomic Wedgie

"should he [Kessel] play with Kessel or Malkin?"

"Yes, I am a genious."


0/2 Wedgie

I think we can do both.
- AdamFrench

I'm jealous.

the leafs got 3 unknown assets.. i find it odd people have determined already the leafs did not get enough.

I suppose seeing Kessel help the pens get to the 3rd round tilts the trade so far..but we knew kessel was an elite scoring talent.. he can help a team
- senstroll

I love how people have already thrown in the towel on kapanen... A 19 year old late first rounder.

That's because Kessel likes to enter the zone with the puck on his stick. So does pretty much every good center in the league.

You know who else does this? Matthews. Kessel playing with him would yield the same poor results as when he played with Crosby or Malkin.

Right now the penguins are paying a whole lot of money for a third line winger.
- Dozzer

That third line winger is their leading scorer in the playoffs, and scored 2 goals and an assist in a 4-3 OT win to eliminate the President's Trophy winners.

Put down the hot dog smothered in hate sauce - Kessel isn't a "3rd line winger."

Pretty much. Some Massachusetts university young republican speaking event
- TheMussel

magic mike XXXL performance ?

"should he
- Steven_Seagull[Kessel] play with Kessel or Malkin?"

"Yes, I am a genious."


0/2 Wedgie

magic mike XXXL performance ?


- zazzle

I love how people have already thrown in the towel on kapanen... A 19 year old late first rounder.
- Dozzer

For eff's sakes, I'm not throwing in the towel on Kapanen.

We've already wasted enough money on him - why would I let him take a towel?

Cut him, have security throw him out, keep his equipment for the annual sale.

Have you seen how much towels cost these days?

But yeah, he really does suck.

That third line winger is their leading scorer in the playoffs, and scored 2 goals and an assist in a 4-3 OT win to eliminate the President's Trophy winners.

Put down the hot dog smothered in hate sauce - Kessel isn't a "3rd line winger."
- Atomic Wedgie

No, but for him to succeed he needs a center who will just go in and do the dirty work.

Kessel can score... Big whoop... He doesn't do anything else worth a poop.

And in today's league... You win by playing solid defense and adhering to the coach's systems. So basically everything that isn't Kessel.

I'm (frank)ing ecstatic he isn't a leaf anymore.

- Atomic Wedgie

1. McDavid
2. Matthews / Eichel (I think both will pan out similar top C players; will be great matchups)
4. Marner
5. Puljujarvi
6. Laine
7. Chychrun
8. Hanifin
9. Provorov
10. Tkachuk
11. Colin White (great pick by Ottawa)
12. Strome

This is what I imagine:

"Hey kid, why are you training so hard? You have the talent to be just like me - 8mill a year and I only sweat on the ice."
- 1979AD

Then go back to the bench, bend over like you're going to puke and die. That is how it's done kid.

For eff's sakes, I'm not throwing in the towel on Kapanen.

We've already wasted enough money on him - why would I let him take a towel?

Cut him, have security throw him out, keep his equipment for the annual sale.

Have you seen how much towels cost these days?

But yeah, he really does suck.
- Atomic Wedgie

Right. Make a final call on a late first 19 year old.... Cause that makes sense.