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Forums :: Blog World :: Michael Pachla: 2015-16 Individual Stats--December
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SabresPanacea
Buffalo Sabres
Location: Buffalo, NY
Joined: 08.16.2014

Jan 2 @ 3:49 PM ET
1. At work, let every single female cut in front of you at the coffee machine. Old, young, ugly, ptretty, skinny, husky, whatever. You say, "No, no, after you." way before the pot is empty, quietly, but noticeably, make a new pot. You are building a new brand. You will do this, and nothing else, for a full week.

2. At 2:30 Friday afternoon, find the best looking girl who drinks coffee. Say, "I'm meeting some friends at ______ for happy hour tonight. Any chance you can stop in on the way home?" She will say no, because she will have other plans, of course. This is expected. You are completing week T (-2).

3. On Monday, after you let a few girls fill their mugs before you (BRAND, BRAND, BRAND) someone will say, "How was your weekend." YOU MUST SEIZE THIS OPPORTUNITY. Rolling your eyes, you say, "Friday snuck up on me, I guess. My boys hung around for a while after happy hour and got a little crazy." Keep making coffee. The story will get back to the cute girl even if she's not there.

4. On Friday, as close to 9:30 am as possible, get to the coffee room, let all females cut, make as many fresh pots as necessary (BRAND YOURSELF, BOY!) and wait for the cute girl. When she comes, you say "I'm supposed to meet my boys at ___ again for happy hour. I need to be sure I'm a bit more careful than last week." Then, act like a new idea hit you, totally out of left field. "Hey! Wanna come?? It's a lot of fun!" She will say no. She already has other plans with her boyfriend/date. You have completed Week T (-1).

5. This is a critical time in the plan. Early on Monday, you're right back in the coffee room, letting all women go first, making fresh pots (BRAND YOURSELF) and looking a little glum. Someone will ask, "How are you SBroads?" or "How was your weekend?" Roll your eyes, and say, in a conspiratorial tone, "To be honest, I'm kinda glad to be back at work. After happy hour was over Friday at _______, we got way outta hand, and I need to be at work to get some rest!" If the cute girl is there to her this, it is best, but if not, its still OK, she will find out about the exchange.

6. Make tons of pots of coffee. Let girls cut in front of you every time. Smile nicely. Be humble.

7. Thursday afternoon after 3:00 pm. Back at the coffee room. More fresh pots. More letting every woman cut. Wait for the cute girl to show. When she's there, you have to deliver properly. "I don't know, my guys are going back to _____ for happy hour this week, and I kinda want to go, but I really don't want to get out of hand like we have for the last few weeks." A brilliant idea crosses your mind "HEY! Wanna meet me there?" She will say, "I 'm not sure, how long do you think you will be there?" Your reply should be "I usually just play it by ear. If you show up, that will be cool, if I miss you, we'll do it another time."

8. Sometime Friday at Happy Hour, she will show up at _______, with her boyfriend (don't panic) and ANOTHER GIRL. You have just completed week T (0). ANOTHER GIRL is your sex target in week T (+1).

9. Don't (frank) it up from here. Balance your buzz with your mission. Engage both the cute girl and ANOTHER GIRL in conversation early. Talk occasionally to the boyfriend, too. By the end spend 60 - 70 percent of your time, but not more, with ANOTHER GIRL Do not drop below 30% of your time impressing the cute girl, She is still your ambassador, and is critical in that role. You are moving into Week T (+1)

10. You are going to get laid this weekend! All week long, make coffee like a mother (frank)er, and let every single female cut in front of you (BRAND LOYALTY IS ALWAYS KEY!) When you see the cute girl, you say this "I really had a great time this weekend." DONT SAY ANY MORE until she says "We did too." Then you say, "Hey, is there any chance you might give me ANOTHER GIRL's number?" She will, of course. On Tuesday night, you meet ANOTHER GIRL for 2 drinks (no more than that) at a fancier place than _______. When you drop her at her house, kiss her, and ask if you can see her again. Wednesday, after work, invite her to dinner on Thursday night, at a restuarant that serves a good chicken entree. She'll go. Be cool, and after you kiss her at the front door, ask her if she would like a dinner and a movie Saturday. She will say yes. During the day Saturday, claen your apartment meticulously, make your bed, and be sure you have two condoms in your bedstand. YOURE GOING TO GET LAID

- Der Kaiser
This is good stuff. (Taking notes)
beargk
Buffalo Sabres
Joined: 01.06.2014

Jan 2 @ 3:49 PM ET
Sounds like they only did it for the Canada game. Sweden, they didn't score at all. And the rest of the games have been blowouts.

That said, I rolled my eyes when they did that.

- buffalofan19


17-20 year olds..they are having fun playing on the big stage. Don't know why anyone would have a problem with them having fun with some celebrations
HB77
Edmonton Oilers
Location: PC is a genius for drafting mcdavid
Joined: 02.20.2007

Jan 2 @ 3:50 PM ET
If you haven't watched espns 30 for 30 doc 'the 4 falls of Buffalo", Based on the bills 4 straight super bowl runs; do yourself a favour and watch it

Pretty great
sbroads24
Buffalo Sabres
Location: We are in 30th place. It's 2017 , NY
Joined: 02.12.2012

Jan 2 @ 3:51 PM ET
At least this was a fun game to watch.

Eichel,O'Reilly and Risto are making this season worth watching
Sabresfan-365
Buffalo Sabres
Location: Lockport, NY
Joined: 12.09.2012

Jan 2 @ 3:52 PM ET
If you haven't watched espns 30 for 30 doc 'the 4 falls of Buffalo", Based on the bills 4 straight super bowl runs; do yourself a favour and watch it

Pretty great

- HB77

Pretty sure they've all seen it
gerbe75pts
Anaheim Ducks
Location: DRAFT COLE CAUFIELD AT 7!!!, CA
Joined: 09.03.2009

Jan 2 @ 3:52 PM ET
I'd rather watch paint dry
- bluengold12



Basically the same as the Sabres game
gerbe75pts
Anaheim Ducks
Location: DRAFT COLE CAUFIELD AT 7!!!, CA
Joined: 09.03.2009

Jan 2 @ 3:53 PM ET
Pretty sure they've all seen it
- Sabresfan-365


My mom and dad have
Buffalo--Sabres
Buffalo Sabres
Location: 2 15/16, NY
Joined: 07.07.2010

Jan 2 @ 3:53 PM ET
umm? isn't Team USA doing the Dab after every goal?
- DDM-Coga




Canada has to skate across the rink, jump off the boards, drop tickertpse and ballons from the celing while playing "We are the Champions". Its 1-0.

Its like they are trying to mimmick teams past but this team just doesn't have it.
Buffalo--Sabres
Buffalo Sabres
Location: 2 15/16, NY
Joined: 07.07.2010

Jan 2 @ 3:55 PM ET
Pretty sure they've all seen it
- Sabresfan-365



Right after we'll all go try these things called Chicken Wings
gerbe75pts
Anaheim Ducks
Location: DRAFT COLE CAUFIELD AT 7!!!, CA
Joined: 09.03.2009

Jan 2 @ 3:56 PM ET
There are more important things going on today like how awesome is it that John Scott is in the all-star game and he's the captain epic
Maximum Signal
Season Ticket Holder
Buffalo Sabres
Location: Buffalo, NY
Joined: 07.11.2008

Jan 2 @ 3:56 PM ET
A American hero that would be in the nhl right now
- gerbe75pts


Well . We know he is your hero . Won't be an american hero till he delivers a gold medal what percentage of America do you think he is paying attention right now? This ain't Canada where it is religion.
HB77
Edmonton Oilers
Location: PC is a genius for drafting mcdavid
Joined: 02.20.2007

Jan 2 @ 3:56 PM ET
Right after we'll all go try these things called Chicken Wings
- Buffalo--Sabres

I guess I asked for this
gerbe75pts
Anaheim Ducks
Location: DRAFT COLE CAUFIELD AT 7!!!, CA
Joined: 09.03.2009

Jan 2 @ 3:58 PM ET
With John Scott being in the All Star Game this will help the NHL market the game so much because people actually watch this disaster
Buffalo--Sabres
Buffalo Sabres
Location: 2 15/16, NY
Joined: 07.07.2010

Jan 2 @ 3:59 PM ET
I guess I asked for this
- HB77



At least you're a good sport. Maybe that's the excuse I'll use tonight to get out. Gotta try these new things called chicken wings.
buffalofan19
Buffalo Sabres
Location: Wonderful things can happen when you sow seeds of distrust in a garden full of (bum)holes
Joined: 07.01.2007

Jan 2 @ 4:00 PM ET
Canada has to skate across the rink, jump off the boards, drop tickertpse and ballons from the celing while playing "We are the Champions". Its 1-0.

Its like they are trying to mimmick teams past but this team just doesn't have it.

- Buffalo--Sabres

Doesn't bother me. They only seem to do it where there is a large Canadian crowd, which is almost always. It's a big deal up there, which is what makes the few times Team USA beats them so fun. Without Canada, this tournament wouldn't be anywhere near worth watching.
gerbe75pts
Anaheim Ducks
Location: DRAFT COLE CAUFIELD AT 7!!!, CA
Joined: 09.03.2009

Jan 2 @ 4:00 PM ET
Well . We know he is your hero . Won't be an american hero till he delivers a gold medal what percentage of America do you think he is paying attention right now? This ain't Canada where it is religion.
- Maximum Signal


That's why the Americans are going take over in the NHL right now that's why this is important so the USA can market these two players Mathews and Jack this is very exciting for the United States of America but of course you don't realize that
Buffalo--Sabres
Buffalo Sabres
Location: 2 15/16, NY
Joined: 07.07.2010

Jan 2 @ 4:01 PM ET
Doesn't bother me. They only seem to do it where there is a large Canadian crowd, which is almost always. It's a big deal up there, which is what makes the few times Team USA beats them so fun. Without Canada, this tournament wouldn't be anywhere near worth watching.
- buffalofan19



Wird
HB77
Edmonton Oilers
Location: PC is a genius for drafting mcdavid
Joined: 02.20.2007

Jan 2 @ 4:03 PM ET
At least you're a good sport. Maybe that's the excuse I'll use tonight to get out. Gotta try these new things called chicken wings.
- Buffalo--Sabres

no sweat. I walked into it. Buffalo is crazy about their teams. And I shoulda known.

Hadn't seen it before and thought it was newish though.

Norwoods a champ. Blew a ring for you guys, but a pretty classy dude nonetheless
HB77
Edmonton Oilers
Location: PC is a genius for drafting mcdavid
Joined: 02.20.2007

Jan 2 @ 4:06 PM ET
That's why the Americans are going take over in the NHL right now that's why this is important so the USA can market these two players Mathews and Jack this is very exciting for the United States of America but of course you don't realize that
- gerbe75pts

No. Just no. Im not trying to be combative, but its not even really all that close

We care way too much. It's intrinsic to being Canadian.
America just doesn't have that level of interest overall
Maximum Signal
Season Ticket Holder
Buffalo Sabres
Location: Buffalo, NY
Joined: 07.11.2008

Jan 2 @ 4:08 PM ET
That's why the Americans are going take over in the NHL right now that's why this is important so the USA can market these two players Mathews and Jack this is very exciting for the United States of America but of course you don't realize that
- gerbe75pts


You need to get in touch with reality . This is not dreamland . NHL is number four in America. You like hockey because you grew up on the border . Do you think even 10 % of America has a passion for hockey like you? Kid ,nice dream. If you brought Mr Matthews or Mr Eichels name up in Alabama , Louisiana, Arkansas , Georgia to name a few . Would folks recognize them . Great dream . But a long way from Happening . I would be happy if we could fill an arena in Phoenix or Miami
DDM-Coga
Colorado Avalanche
Location: If Chabot is not in the NHL, Ill revoke my account - AlfiesSald, AB
Joined: 07.24.2009

Jan 2 @ 4:09 PM ET
You need to get in touch with reality . This is not dreamland . NHL is number four in America. You like hockey because you grew up on the border . Do you think even 10 % of America has a passion for hockey like you? Kid ,nice dream. If you brought Mr Matthews or Mr Eichels name in Alabama , Louisiana, Arkansas , Georgia to name a few . Would folks recognize them . Great dream . But a long way from Happening . I would be happy if we could fill an arena in Phoenix or Miami
- Maximum Signal


Roll Tide...not even 4th, NCCA football is probably more popular than baseball is
Buffalo--Sabres
Buffalo Sabres
Location: 2 15/16, NY
Joined: 07.07.2010

Jan 2 @ 4:09 PM ET
no sweat. I walked into it. Buffalo is crazy about their teams. And I shoulda known.

Hadn't seen it before and thought it was newish though.

Norwoods a champ. Blew a ring for you guys, but a pretty classy dude nonetheless

- HB77



No it was the coach Marv Levy. He blew 4 championships for us. It was poor coaching.
HB77
Edmonton Oilers
Location: PC is a genius for drafting mcdavid
Joined: 02.20.2007

Jan 2 @ 4:11 PM ET
No it was the coach Marv Levy. He blew 4 championships for us. It was poor coaching.
- Buffalo--Sabres

Interesting take. Those last two I'm not so sure...

Either way, didn't really mean to put it all on Scott. Just had a shot to win it is all.
Buffalo--Sabres
Buffalo Sabres
Location: 2 15/16, NY
Joined: 07.07.2010

Jan 2 @ 4:12 PM ET
Jagr, legend



"@68Jagr: Fans-I was afraid,that 3on3 all-Star game may kill me,now,I am more afraid,fighting John Scott 6,8 300 during All-Star, kill me for sure"
Maximum Signal
Season Ticket Holder
Buffalo Sabres
Location: Buffalo, NY
Joined: 07.11.2008

Jan 2 @ 4:13 PM ET
No it was the coach Marv Levy. He blew 4 championships for us. It was poor coaching.
- Buffalo--Sabres


Marv could not make a half time adjustment to save his life . We were in every game till halftime.
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