Not my best student.
- DrRecchi

Should have known when his doctorate was made using Crayola

I'm getting a vasectomy.


Little birthday present for myself.
- dt99999

Nothing like treating yourself to another man cutting into your sack.

why do they always aim for the balls!?!?!?
- dt99999

Pretty sure it's an imbedded game they have at birth called... punch dad in the d!ck it's funny..

Nothing like treating yourself to another man cutting into your sack.
- 3M

- Pecafan Fan

embellishment

why do they always aim for the balls!?!?!?
- dt99999

!!!!!!BALLS!!!!!!!!

Pretty sure it's an imbedded game they have at birth called... punch dad in the d!ck it's funny..
- MrBeanTown

Not sure why, but mine don't do it.....yet.

you know what hurts more?


waking up at 5:30 to a kid who wants to try an elbow drop from the top of a bed post.
- dt99999

You know those cardboard-page books that toddlers "read"? Try getting one of those in the eye at 5am. It (frank)ing sucks.

embellishment
- MrBeanTown

he grabbed the wrong nut faking the injury

Not sure why, but mine don't do it.....yet.
- hscesq

you lucked out with a daughter.

well, not that I want to burst your bubble or anything, but vasectomy isn't 100% "secure".
- Pecafan Fan

They are now.

he grabbed the wrong nut faking the injury
- hamiltonhabfan

Edit: Or as he was falling, he twisted the other nut?

That happened when you got married.
- hscesq

5/5

They are now.
- 3M

I'll let that know to my friend who's girlfriend is now pregnant even if he had a vasectomy just a year ago.


She probably cheated.

why do they always aim for the balls!?!?!?
- dt99999

I don't ever recall my boy kicking me in the nuts, but my daughter seems to be able to pull it off at least twice/day.

- Pecafan Fan

That's some million-dollar pampering right there.

I'll let that know to my friend who's girlfriend is now pregnant even if he had a vasectomy just a year ago.


She probably cheated.
- Pecafan Fan

mailman

- Pecafan Fan

Should've been suspended...

well, not that I want to burst your bubble or anything, but vasectomy isn't 100% "secure".
- Pecafan Fan

Well unless your boys can fight through a clamp, untie a knot, jump a half inch, untie another knot, fight through another clamp.....they're pretty secure.

I don't ever recall my boy kicking me in the nuts, but my daughter seems to be able to pull it off at least twice/day.
- 3M

3 boys... 10-8-3

I swear I need a cup just to be home during the weekends.... its horrible...

The 3 Y/O is at the perfect height now.... I'm hoping my balls are so tenderized at this point they can no longer produce the baby makers

I'll let that know to my friend who's girlfriend is now pregnant even if he had a vasectomy just a year ago.


She probably cheated.
- Pecafan Fan

Look, all I know is that they cut open your bag, pull out the tube, cut a section out of it, cauterize both ends and then patch you up. If you can get your boys to traverse the space that used to be part of your vas deferens, through two cauterized ends of said tube, then you have super sperm.

That's some million-dollar pampering right there.
- 3M

Thats photoshopped

yeah mrs.dt uses it too but I think she wants to stop.


also I'd seriously rather cut my Richard off than have another kid. I'm not taking any chances.
- dt99999

Buddy had 2 girls in high school. Found out wife is pregnant couple years back. He threw up.

edit: he had a vasectomy

Look, all I know is that they cut open your bag, pull out the tube, cut a section out of it, cauterize both ends and then patch you up. If you can get your boys to traverse the space that used to be part of your vas deferens, through two cauterized ends of said tube, then you have super sperm.
- 3M

or an active mailman

I'll let that know to my friend who's girlfriend is now pregnant even if he had a vasectomy just a year ago.


She probably cheated.
- Pecafan Fan

They test you a few weeks later just to make sure. Unless he skipped that.



How do you ask for a Paternity Test without coming across as an ass?