I've been lurking on this site for 2 years, but this post got me to register just to confirm what others have said. This is far and away the best post I've read on this site, or any other hockey site in a very long time.

We'll done sir! Thoughtful, profound, and heart felt. Thanks!!

Brad Ratgen: Anti-Gay Doesn't Play for NHL, "You Can Play" and Yours Truly
"You Can Play" Foundation Changing Hearts, Minds and Attitudes at Home and Abroad; This Blogger's Personal Story About His Openly Gay Teenage Son.
- Brad Ratgen

Great blog.

And surely anyone, no matter their beliefs, can agree that people facing imprisonment or violence because of their sexual preference is despicable.

I've confided to my horrified Canadian friends that in some ways I wish the United States, the most influential political force in the world, will have its hockey team win gold and skate around the ice at sochi with two flags: the stars and stripes, and a rainbow flag.

Yes, best piece i've read in quite some time

My gosh hockey fans are just the best ppl aren't they?

Rhetorical question but I'm dead serious.

Wow what a pleasant surprise to find a blog like this on this site. I would have given the chance of this happening an E -1

Don't feel shame Brad, many of us grew up with thoughts like you had. It's human nature to be afraid of things you don't know or understand, and too easy to go along with the crowd when you are young. Be kind to yourself and be proud of how you are unconditionally loving your son.

I've found that almost without fail people who are homophobic tend not to know anyone or be close to anyone who is gay. Once you know someone who went through the pain of the "coming out" process you have a different view of whether or not being gay is a lifestyle choice someone makes. My brother is gay and the pain he told me he went through as a teenager/young adult made it crystal clear to me that being gay was not a choice, rather was just who he was. He didn't choose to be gay any more than he chose to have blue eyes and be 6 foot tall. Once people, like me, realize that being gay is not a choice but just how God makes certain people, like your son and my brother, those homophobic thoughts melt away.

Thanks for the thoughtful blog.

Bravo!

awesome article Brad. Very humbled by your journey and at how well you have handled it all. Proud to have this story on Hockeybuzz. Thank You.

Excellent blog.

Waaaay too much information! You could have kept this between yourself and your loved ones.
- allycat

Seems like many appreciate the story.....

Thank you for sharing this, very powerful.

I hope you leave this up for awhile and as many people as possible are able to read it. Maybe EK can feature this on the main page.

http://www.advocate.com/c...bout-antigay-intimidation

Thank you for sharing this, very powerful.

I hope you leave this up for awhile and as many people as possible are able to read it. Maybe EK can feature this on the main page.
- TrueBlue9182

He should, this is a fantastic read and very timely with the Olympics.

Great blog.

I didnt know so many people on this site actually read the blogs.

Great blog.

I didnt know so many people on this site actually read the blogs.
- Leafs43

they dont....right to the comment section.

Great blog.

And surely anyone, no matter their beliefs, can agree that people facing imprisonment or violence because of their sexual preference is despicable.

I've confided to my horrified Canadian friends that in some ways I wish the United States, the most influential political force in the world, will have its hockey team win gold and skate around the ice at sochi with two flags: the stars and stripes, and a rainbow flag.
- Morris

It absolutely is, which, after reading this article here, makes me wonder if we are targeting the wrong people for it:

http://www.theguardian.co...-playing-into-putin-hands

Great blog.

And surely anyone, no matter their beliefs, can agree that people facing imprisonment or violence because of their sexual preference is despicable.

I've confided to my horrified Canadian friends that in some ways I wish the United States, the most influential political force in the world, will have its hockey team win gold and skate around the ice at sochi with two flags: the stars and stripes, and a rainbow flag.
- Morris

That would be absolutely fantastic!

Excellent blog, sir! As a Manitoban, I'm proud to have people such as yourself as my neighbours to the south

I've always been a firm believer that the government has no right, of any kind, to tell anyone whom they can or can not marry. That was kind of the point from all different aspects of the constitution. Politicians found out long ago, that creating issues and keeping them issues (instead of solving them) keeps people coming to vote.

We applaud those who wish to live freely and openly as who they are, but condemn those who wish to see the abortion practice halted (or reduced to medically necessary). We applaud Rosa Parks for standing up (or sitting down) for what was right. We, however, mock and ridicule those women who fight to sustain the gun rights we've fought so hard to keep.

But for everyone's sake, we need to fight for every single constitutional right that we have. No more picking and choosing which we like or dislike and try to remove (or change) the others.

We lose 606 minors (17 and under) a year from accidental gun 'violence' (2010 estimate). Their is outrage at all times from people who want to ban all guns about this statistic. Roughly 2 minors die for every million citizens per year from accidental gun 'violence'. Groups are ready and willing to tear out the 2nd amendment because of such statistics. But where is the outrage on the leading killer of all minors (Not including the 1.2 million children aborted every year in 47 of the 50 states)? Texting and driving. 3000 children die a year from it. Drinking and driving? 2800 children die a year from it. Your children are almost 1000% more likely to die from one of these events compared to accidental gun violence.

Off topic...

Even if being gay was a 'choice', as Americans aren't we allowed to make that choice freely? If it isn't a choice, aren't we as Americans allowed to live freely?

As an attorney I don't necessarily agree with your philosophical views about the Constitution, but as a person and a hockey fan I thoroughly enjoyed reading this piece. Excellent work.

Edit

Wrong place to air personal feelings in regards to politically charged issues like homosexuality.

44 replies is the most ever on a wild blog, with 99 percent of them being positive. This is the wrong place, how?? It's a situation that is totally relevant to the whole sports world right now, especially with the Olympics being held in a country sponsoring hate. There is no place that isn't the right place to speak out against hate. Period.

Edit

Wrong place to air personal feelings in regards to politically charged issues like homosexuality.
- MnGump

Not asking anyone to change their views on the issue. Mine changed as I got older and, thankfully, I was pretty much there when he told me. But, I do respect those who disagree with the lifestyle. I just don't want that disagreement to rise to the level of hate, threats and people assuming that God hates my son. While his coming out was a shock, I fail to see how it's a battle I lost as you originally posted. He is an 8th grader. I knew in 8th grade that I liked members of the opposite sex and it certainly had nothing to do with what my parents did or didn't do. I think he knows who and what he is attracted to and I think it has to do with his core being, not society or schools or anything else. He was just born that way. It shouldn't be used as a basis for hate. However, I respect others' opinions disagreeing with the lifestyle. I may not agree, but I will respect differing views not based in hate or upon threats, neither of which were in your original post.

44 replies is the most ever on a wild blog, with 99 percent of them being positive. This is the wrong place, how?? It's a situation that is totally relevant to the whole sports world right now, especially with the Olympics being held in a country sponsoring hate. There is no place that isn't the right place to speak out against hate. Period.
- gypsypunk01

Therein lies the problem, people like you assume if someone doesn't openly support gays they are prejudiced. People can disagree with the lifestyle without actually hating anyone. Disapproval and disagreement does not automatically equate to hate. I don't agree with the lifestyle but I've had a friend and a few coworkers that I've gotten along just fine with and I still think people have the right to choose how they live. And no, Olympics or not I don't think a sports blog is the place for a politically charged debate about homosexuality.

Not asking anyone to change their views on the issue. Mine changed as I got older and, thankfully, I was pretty much there when he told me. But, I do respect those who disagree with the lifestyle. I just don't want that disagreement to rise to the level of hate, threats and people assuming that God hates my son. While his coming out was a shock, I fail to see how it's a battle I lost as you originally posted. He is an 8th grader. I knew in 8th grade that I liked members of the opposite sex and it certainly had nothing to do with what my parents did or didn't do. I think he knows who and what he is attracted to and I think it has to do with his core being, not society or schools or anything else. He was just born that way. It shouldn't be used as a basis for hate. However, I respect others' opinions disagreeing with the lifestyle. I may not agree, but I will respect differing views not based in hate or upon threats, neither of which were in your original post.
- Brad Ratgen

I don't hate, I just don't support the choice of lifestyle. And I firmly believe it's a choice, not something people are born with. I don't believe Sexual preference is a birth defect. There is a reason the anatomy of humans makes it impossible for like genders to procreate.

My problem with kids thinking they are gay is that in today's day and age, it's an easy escape from those awkward pimple face feelings of being in the embryo stages of puberty. Not knowing, or being around a group of people that introduce even the idea that the choice of being gay is a real option can certainly push kids to making that decision without the benefit of maturity andor the ability to comprehend what that decision means.
My point is simply this... Gay acceptance has not only made the decision making easier, but almost created a cop out or way for kids to make a personal statement. At one point I thought maybe to be different, but now I honestly think it's trendy and cool in many circles.
I'm not going to argue with you and tell you your wrong or even that I'm right. I have no problem agreeing to disagree. As I stated in my original post, I will do everything in my power as a parent to discourage my children from making the decision to live that lifestyle, even if it means telling them I think it's wrong. If they decide to do it anyway, I'll still support and love them the same I would otherwise.

Either way, I appreciate your candor and respect you as a supporting and loving parent and fundamentally good person.

Therein lies the problem, people like you assume if someone doesn't openly support gays they are prejudiced. People can disagree with the lifestyle without actually hating anyone. Disapproval and disagreement does not automatically equate to hate. I don't agree with the lifestyle butanything I've had a friend and a few coworkers that I've gotten along just fine with and I still think people have the right to choose how they live. And no, Olympics or not I don't think a sports blog is the place for a politically charged debate about homosexuality.
- MnGump

Actually, I never assumed that you are prejudiced at all, I merely asserted that there IS hate, and that it needs to stop. Why not talk about it in a sports blog? A much more disturbing "trend" than being gay is the idea among teenagers (and older people) that it's not "cool" to talk or think about anything deeper than sports or the latest crappy rap song to come out. Isn't being American aboutnot being afraid to voice your opinion anywhere and anytime? You can say whatever you want, even that teenagers are turning gay because it's acceptable in our culture now, and they need somewhere to turn in their confusing prepubescent years. It's a dang shame, those kids used to just turn to drugs, but I'm sure that's a better lifestyle choice than being gay.