By then they'll have fleshlights built in to the seats of everything you can sit on.
- Lahey

I say take it one step further and just build one right into your sweat pants. Maybe even add an attachment where you can harvest your yields and sell it to a sperm bank. It would pay for itself in a matter of hours.

By then they'll have fleshlights built in to the seats of everything you can sit on.
- Lahey

Speaking of which, we are currently in talks with Katz to install energy generating fleshlights into every second seat at the new arena. Each of these seats will be reserved for males only... If 9,000 males (frank) their seats for just 15 minutes per game, it will create enough energy to power the stadium for approximately 4.67 days. Each seat will be monitored... Those who participate will receive discounts on concessions, and will be entered into lotteries for free tickets/signed hockey merchandise.

May I reccomend an organic option? Microwave a Bannana for 15 seconds and tie a couple elastic bands around it. I was gonna bring my own to market but I too have been bogged down by the R&D phase. It's a tough rut to get out of.
- Oilersforlife

I'd go through way too many bananas... Our Fleshlight will pay for itself in just 3 days.

Actually, Connolly wouldn't suck if he'd be $2mil per or less per. As long as it's a short-term, one season thing, bringing him in wouldn't hurt.

We are a soft team, why would you bring in another soft player. This team needs grit not more soft players.

I don't think you realize the jump from playing with boys to men. Sure maybe Reider will come in do well, but the odds are against him.
- Lahey

I completely understand. Very few do it well. I don't expect him to succeed. I just expect him to do better than the option we have now... which is playing Hall and gagner at center and double shifting them on the third and fourth lines.

Connolly is soft and I agree that he is not the ideal choice in a perfect world but again this is not a perfect world. We are winning almost no face offs out there. Do you know how hard it is to win the games when the other team gets a free shot from the point every time the face off is in your end? We were lucky to do as well as we did against Dallas because they were playing terrible last night and Dub was on fire. However if that was a team like Chicago where they have dmen and 2 lines, we could have devastated our GAA. Which most don't care about but remember that some goalies like Salo never come back once it gets in their head.

I am all ears if someone else has another option for a center but I am pretty sure we know Tamb isn't smart enough to use the phone so unless a UFA calls him, we aren't getting one.

Truth be told I love the Oilers team as it is... when healthy. I would like Smyth and Hordichuk to be the odd men out when and if Jones comes back and plays the way he did last year. I wish Horcoff and Whitney would play like we know they can and I wish Hemsky was like Gaborik in the sense that he had a ton of injuries and then starts playing full seasons. If that happened, the only thing I would do is grab a back up until Bunz is ready. They have what it takes to beat any team on any night... if they play their game. Shoot the puck, get traffic and stop trying to be so fancy. Hall needs a few more points before he can get away with a through the legs attempt. If he wanted to stop dead or spin... sure but don't dangle between the legs.

Is Laughs still considered a boy or a man. I could see him as more of a boy. Probably get top dollar on the gay hooker circuite. I may have to see if he wants to form a partnership. I'll sell his body and provide protection. Are you interested on getting in on the ground floor? I know they're fleshlight business is really struggling. Gingers are getting banned for posting ads.
- Oilersforlife

Fleshlights are a recession proof business. We have open up three sweatshops factories in China and will be ready to go to market late 2013 (just in time for x-mas).

You should totally buy a fleshlight for your mom and grandma.

Really???? a missed offside that led to a goal against didn't affect the outcome of the game? a missed too many men on the ice, in overtime didn't affect the outcome of the game??? Alrighty then......
- SpoiledByOil

Of course it had an effect on the outcome, u missed the point.
We looked like a bad team, we were lucky to even be there. How many effin odd man rushes did they have? How ugly is our breakout when they sent 2 forecheckers in and rushed us? Etc etc etc. a good team woulda blown us out.
Its about the big picture. Did this really need to be explained? Wow

Get ur head outta ur ass and stop looking for easy excuses.
The refs cost us that game my acss

I completely understand. Very few do it well. I don't expect him to succeed. I just expect him to do better than the option we have now... which is playing Hall and gagner at center and double shifting them on the third and fourth lines.

Connolly is soft and I agree that he is not the ideal choice in a perfect world but again this is not a perfect world. We are winning almost no face offs out there. Do you know how hard it is to win the games when the other team gets a free shot from the point every time the face off is in your end? We were lucky to do as well as we did against Dallas because they were playing terrible last night and Dub was on fire. However if that was a team like Chicago where they have dmen and 2 lines, we could have devastated our GAA. Which most don't care about but remember that some goalies like Salo never come back once it gets in their head.

I am all ears if someone else has another option for a center but I am pretty sure we know Tamb isn't smart enough to use the phone so unless a UFA calls him, we aren't getting one.

Truth be told I love the Oilers team as it is... when healthy. I would like Smyth and Hordichuk to be the odd men out when and if Jones comes back and plays the way he did last year. I wish Horcoff and Whitney would play like we know they can and I wish Hemsky was like Gaborik in the sense that he had a ton of injuries and then starts playing full seasons. If that happened, the only thing I would do is grab a back up until Bunz is ready. They have what it takes to beat any team on any night... if they play their game. Shoot the puck, get traffic and stop trying to be so fancy. Hall needs a few more points before he can get away with a through the legs attempt. If he wanted to stop dead or spin... sure but don't dangle between the legs.
- bsteinley

Not sure where you got the impression this is a good outlet for intelligent hockey conversation. I for one find it highly innapropriate. Your lucky any refs just gave up on Rich's blogs or you'd be gone. Now if you want to talk about prostetic vagina's and trading Shawn Horcoff for Tyler Seguin then you are in business.

Speaking of which, we are currently in talks with Katz to install energy generating fleshlights into every second seat at the new arena. Each of these seats will be reserved for males only... If 9,000 males (frank) their seats for just 15 minutes per game, it will create enough energy to power the stadium for approximately 4.67 days. Each seat will be monitored... Those who participate will receive discounts on concessions, and will be entered into lotteries for free tickets/signed hockey merchandise.
- laughs2907

The Katz negotiations are going very well.

I just sent a prototype seat to his kid for product testing.

We're not struggling, we're in the R&D phase.
- laughs2907

Stuck in the R phase is more like it...

The Katz negotiations are going very well.

I just sent a prototype seat to his kid for product testing.
- Reveen

Probably a good thing, that porky little (frank) looks like he needs the exercise.

The Katz negotiations are going very well.

I just sent a prototype seat to his kid for product testing.
- Reveen

Oh man, he's going to pound the (frank) out of that thing.

I say take it one step further and just build one right into your sweat pants. Maybe even add an attachment where you can harvest your yields and sell it to a sperm bank. It would pay for itself in a matter of hours.
- Oilersforlife

Now here is a guy that should be hired by Laughs and Reveen, or if he were smart Longbottom

Probably a good thing, that porky little (frank) looks like he needs the exercise.
- spitfire187

They should hire you. Lack of real vagina now and still in the phase where you cry when you see another vagina.

Oh man, he's going to pound the (frank) out of that thing.
- laughs2907

That must be the accelerating aging beta testing phase.

Not sure where you got the impression this is a good outlet for intelligent hockey conversation. I for one find it highly innapropriate. Your lucky any refs just gave up on Rich's blogs or you'd be gone. Now if you want to talk about prostetic vagina's and trading Shawn Horcoff for Tyler Seguin then you are in business.
- Oilersforlife

Okay then. Horcoff for Malkin. Problem solved.

They should hire you. Lack of real vagina now and still in the phase where you cry when you see another vagina.
- Lahey

Naw man I'm good. I got a few options.

Now here is a guy that should be hired by Laughs and Reveen, or if he were smart Longbottom
- Lahey

Unfortunatly Longbottom has a nation wide governmental ban on procreation. He would need to source his product out of country. Preferably one that doesn't care about punctuation, spelling, grammer, creepiness or homelessness. Maybe somewhere deep in the Sudan, or wherever they filmed Blackhawk down.

Okay then. Horcoff for Malkin. Problem solved.
- bsteinley

Throw in Crosby, Letang, and 3 first rounders and you are onto something.

Naw man I'm good. I got a few options.
- spitfire187

I am looking to add to my stable of male escorts. Honest work and it's recession proof.

Naw man I'm good. I got a few options.
- spitfire187

Left hand, right hand, both hands at once?

Unfortunatly Longbottom has a nation wide governmental ban on procreation. He would need to source his product out of country. Preferably one that doesn't care about punctuation, spelling, grammer, creepiness or homelessness. Maybe somewhere deep in the Sudan, or wherever they filmed Blackhawk down.
- Oilersforlife

(frank) you your a (frank)ing idiot. I have mine on order.

(frank) you your a (frank)ing idiot. I have mine on order.
- longbottom

I thought you were making them? If you were smart hire him, you'll over take those other two clowns.

Throw in Crosby, Letang, and 3 first rounders and you are onto something.
- Oilersforlife

Crosby is a mush head...they better add Neal if we are taking that negative value.

I thought you were making them? If you were smart hire him, you'll over take those other two clowns.
- Lahey

The two squirrels on my fence will overtake them.