Nathan MacKinnon!
No, Seth Jones!
No, Barkov!
Sorry folks. I'm just practicing for June. Jonathan Drouin!
I'm in a bad mood. Why? Because this Oilers team should be beating everyone this season. The Wild? The Mild. This should be a 6-3 win for the Oilers. Every single time. It's like that Kings game the other day. I was sitting right there, best seats in the house. Did I see offense? No. Did I see effort? Not really. What I saw was an incredibly talented Oilers team be put to sleep by a slower, duller club. Weak.
Can we shut up about the Taylor Hall hit on Kyle Cludderbuck already? The Wild player had his dead down the whole time. Watch where you are going, dude, this isn't a department store. Hall was trying to hit him with his hip, and Flusterchuck just skated right into him. I hate it when so-so players get in the way of much more talented and interesting players. I'll never buy another Kim Butterclark jersey again.
Valery Nichushkin!
The Oilers are about to go on a nine-game road trip. Nine games. They were suppose to win all the games on their homestand before going out on the road...because if they didn't, it's season over. The Oilers are scheduled to lose against the horrifying Phoenix Coyotes on Saturday. Why will they lose? Because I have tickets, and when I have tickets, they always lose. FML. I'm the reason the Oilers continue to be a horrible team. Me, me, me. I admit it. It's all about me.
If I sound like I'm a little kid having a tantrum, it's because I'm a little kid having a tantrum.
The Oilers might be the most interesting team in hockey, but they make me and all other fans have night-after-sleepless-night when they play like this. Tom Gilbert isn't an Oiler anymore. In previous seasons, whenever the Oilers did their usual fall-asleep routine in the middle of February, we could blame it on Tom Gilbert, with his greasy hair. What's with that whole Tom Petty thing, anyway? Never understood that look.
Here's some free advice for the Oilers: Shoot.
Not themsleves; not the opposition. The puck. Shoot the puck. Try it sometimes. Sam Gagner, could have shot the puck; got nothing. Ales Hemsky could have shot the puck; got nothing. Nail Yakupov with his Pavel Datsyuk spin move. Why? Dude, just make the play. I know the Oilers want to be the coolest kids on the playground, but part of being cool is knowing you don't need to do anything to be cool. You just are. How many games have we endured this season witnessing Oilers players try to make the impossible play instead of the right one? It's time they get over themselves. This isn't Junior hockey anymore.
I am watching TSN highlights with Nephew Tim right now. We were watching, was that Dallas? Some silly team. Nephew Tim says, "why can't the Oilers seem to score simple goals like that?" He's right; they don't. Dallas shoots the puck. They gain the zone, they shoot, they go to the net, the jam the rebound. Over and over and over, until they win game after game, putting the entire viewing audience to sleep while doing it.
What do the Oilers think this is, 1982? Does Nuge think he is Gretzky? Does Hall think he's Messier? A team like the 80's Oilers will never happen again. No team will ever win hockey games again playing fun, entertaining, offensively-skilled hockey. Until management deals for eight forwards who are 6' 4", 240lbs, and until Oilers coaches begin to use the 0-1-4 trap formation, the Oilers will continue to lose season after season. I'm not being harsh, I'm being realistic. The NHL isn't entertainment, it's professional sports. Entertainment has nothing to do with it.
So the only question that matters now is, who do we draft in June? We won't be watching playoff hockey, so we need something to focus on and feel excited for.
Edmonton Oilers Blogger • 
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