I'll start this blog by reminding everyone I am not a fan of fighting in hockey. Why? Because I feel the point of hockey is to skate, shoot the puck, score goals...fighting can be entertaining to watch, but it isn't hockey. If I want to see fighting, I'll watch UFC, not the NHL.
As much as I'd like to see fighting come out of the game, there is a time and place for the discussion. Today, the day after the death of former NHL tough guy Wade Belak, is not the right time and place.
I absolutely hate it when people manipulate situations to further their own agendas. Only a few minutes ago, I was driving home from hospital, and was listening to Oilers Now! Today's first guests? Former NHL Enforcers Georges Laraque and Brantt Myhers. The discussion? The need to do something about fighting in hockey because of the psychological and mental toll it takes on the players. Of course, the interview started with a commentary indicating there is some sort of correlation between the death of Belak and the experiences of today's guests. What a load of bollocks.
I have no doubt players like Laraque and Myhers didn't want to fight, and dealt with depression because they had to do it to keep a job in the NHL. But here's the thing: When I was a kid growing up, my parents told me I should become a welder. There are two welding companies owned by extended family members, and both cousins made millions from their profession. I didn't want to be a welder, mostly because it was too much work. I wanted to sit on my ass and write. I made up my own mind about what kind of work I was willing to do.
No one forced anyone to ever play in the NHL. If a player was asked to fight and they didn't want to, they could quit. They could try a different career. Yes, I know, there is all that pressure...News Flash: Everyone, from a Wal-Mart employee who earns $10 per hour to a NHL Enforcer, deals with pressure relating to their work. If I was in a job I hated, I'd quit. If everyone around me knew I was miserable, they'd tell me to quit. A job is just a job.
The emerging reality of Belak's death is that he was dealing with issues that very few people, if anyone, realized. That's how mental health issues go. I know from very personal experience that sometimes people have issues much greater and deeper than anyone else realizes. These inner demons are so huge and so scary to face that sometimes people build massive walls around their secrets and push everyone they love away. The net effect of this is, the person with the illness protects the disease instead of seeking help. Why? Because dealing is hard. Terrifying. Allowing yourself to be truly vulnerable can be the most painful moment of someone's life.
Mental illness is still a bit of a forbidden subject. When someone breaks a leg, friends will go up and say, "OMG, you broke your leg! Are you okay? Can I sign your cast?" Physical injuries are okay. But mental issues like depression? Have you ever heard the expression, "suck it up"? That's what we often say to someone when they try to reach out. We live in a society where more people believe than not that: 1. Mental illness is self imposed, 2. A person can completely control their mental health issues if they want to, and 3. That admitting you need psychological help is a sign of weakness.
I am glad the NHL and the NHLPA are going to do what they can to help the players. Their first responsibility is to listen, not to talk. Let current and former players say what they are thinking and feeling. From there, programs and services can be designed to help reach those in need. But all of this being said, and this is crucial to the discussion - Everyone involved must accept that there are going to be days like yesterday. Yesterday's incident was not a reflection on the hockey world, it was a reflection on our society and our inability to reach everyone who needs help in time.
As for the fighting discussion, it is both opportunistic and shallow of the media to use yesterday's event as a ratings booster, discussing a topic (fighting) that everyone involved knows will be met with tremendous debate and dissention. It's also sad that ex-players who have the specific agenda of getting fighting out of the game are using this as an opportunity. Doing so and using Belak's final day as an example distorts what has actually occurred, and detracts attention from the hugely important discussion we should be having. Which is, how can we as a society do a better job of encouraging people to speak up and to seek help before they attempt suicide.
Edmonton Oilers Blogger • 
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