Since we’re a step closer to the official death of the 2009-10 Tampa Bay Lightning after last night’s overtime loss in Toronto left them six points out of the playoff picture with 16 games left to play, I thought I’d forgo anything serious today, in an effort to lighten the mood a bit.

Through their official Facebook page, the Lightning are promoting a limerick contest and offering tickets to March 16th’s home game against the Phoenix Coyotes in celebration of St. Patrick’s Day a day later for the winning submission.

Kudos to the fine folks in the Bolts organization for soliciting such fan, um, creativity at a time when all is not so rosy on the ice and most fans are in the mood to tear the team to shreds, rather than craft a cutesy poem about this or that. (I’m sure they’ll get some lewd submissions … The interns will love sifting through those, no doubt!)

In the spirit of St. Patty’s and, with an obvious eye on levity, I give you some St. Patrick’s Day Lightning limericks of my own. And, if you’re feeling up to it, offer up your best in the comments. (Limited censorship here, I assure you!)

There once was a head coach named Barry
Who deemed Stamkos as tough as a fairy
Now Steven’s the man
And, well, Barry’s still tan
That mullet is so freakin’ scary

Nine goals is the total for Tanguay
The Bolts wanted more in the worst way
But to score’s not his game
“The Passmaster”’s the name
Think I’d much rather have Gordon Bombay

Cash isn’t a problem for Vinny
His goal total this year is quite skinny
He’s in Tampa to stay
Don’t care what others say
He signed that big contract now, didn’t he?

This tale is about Paul Szczechura
There’s nothing that rhymes with “Szczechura”
I thought I would try
But it just made me cry
Blah-blah blah-dee blah-blah Szczechura!

Let’s talk of Martin St. Louis
He’s a little bit smaller than me
But he’s tougher than nails
And pissed when his team fails
Which is why I say he’s MVP!

Jeff Vinik has purchased the Lightning
Whose last two years have been rather frightening
Oren goofed badly when he
Put faith in Sir Lenny
Cause his cash flow was never a sure thing

What’s up with Radim Vrbata?
Scores in Phoenix but when he’s here, nada
Same for Jokinen and Prospal
But in Tampa? Impossible
Can we blame this on Erik Estrada?

Where have ye gone, Sir Paul Ranger?
It’s time you stopped being a stranger
We sure hope you’re well
Now, come, answer the bell
Cause without you, the D’s been in danger

Some folks miss Evgeny Artyukhin
Who scored less than ol’ Harold Druken
He was big, yes, and fast
Beat Kostopolous’s ass
But dumb penalties sure had me pukin’

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose …

I think I’ll stop now …

Your turn!

JJ

[email protected]

BoltsBuzz Radio Archive at Podbean!
(Subscribe through iTunes!)

JJ on Facebook

JJ on Twitter