Today is the day we've all been waiting for.......or at least those of use whose NHL loyalties lie with the worst teams in the league. Sure, the Playoffs have been fun, but a random draft lottery, played by out of shape fat guys who haven't skated in years is, ironically, more exciting to any of the people I know than a matchup involving washed-up has beens Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin.
I am going to a BBQ today where 90% of the people are insane-to-the-point-of-possibly-needing-medical-attention Leafs fans. When the Lottery goes down, there is either going to be party-ruining, soul crushing disappointment, or room-trashing elation.
To be honest with you, I don't foresee a situation where my brother's house doesn't end up trashed - either in celebration or defeat. I am seriously considering having paramedics standing by in case the Oilers win.
The Leafs have a 20% chance to win the lottery and I'm not even going to try and pretend I want the Coyotes to win it. There has been nothing - absolutely nothing - to being a Leafs Fan to recommend it. Being a Leafs fan is probably the worst 1st world problem a person could have! To wit:
-Four trips to the Final Four, somehow blowing each one.
-The best young defenseman the team ever had lost most of his vision and a shot at the Hall of Fame.
-Trading away Tyler Seguin and Dougie Hamilton.
-Blowing a 3 goal lead in the final minutes of game seven against the Bruins.
-The indignity of having to see Mats Sundin dressed up in a Canucks jersey.
-And who can forget that before the last number was picked and the Oilers won the Connor McDavid lottery, the Leafs had the best odds to do so?
Jesus, if I keep this up I'm going to have to head to my blanket fort with a copy of Disintegration and my Emily Dickonson anthology and spend the next two weeks subsisting on my own tears.
Fact is, the Leafs are due, baby! I want Auston Mattews and I want him bad. We deserve him.
But, let's face it. It's an 80% chance that he goes somewhere else, so I've made my piece with it. Do I consider it the most Leafiest thing of all-time that the one time they finish last, they have the worst chance to pick first, out of any team, ever?
Of course I do.
But it's not all bad. Laine and Puljujarvi could well end up being superior players - who knows? Either way, they're pretty sweet consultation prizes. It's a deep draft, so everyone up top gets a good player, but the cache of first overall is what everybody wants.
As for the Coyotes, they will pick seventh if nothing changes and they have a 6.5% chance of winning. Much has been made about them getting Matthews since he's from Arizona.
I think this has been so overblown it's not even funny. Leave it to people that when they finally do recognize or acknowledge the existence of the Coyotes to be complete idiots about it.
Sure, the Coyotes aren't going to scoff at having a home-town kid playing for them, but people need to get realistic. They are not going to trade their own pick and Dylan Strome for him. That would be insane.
They certainly aren't trading Oliver Ekman-Larsson.
Think about it: how much of an uptick in ticket sales will one home town kid produce? And how long would that bump last? I mean, if you aren't in to hockey already, what do you care if the hockey team got a hockey player who was born in their?
I don't see anyone in Toronto giving one crap that Nazem Kadri is locally born. Sure, I guess in Arizona every little thing helps, but how much is this really going to help? I mean, I could not care less where any player is born and I doubt I am alone in this.
Personally, I think it's so condescending and insulting to think the Coyotes would just desperately tear their team apart because they want the home-town kid. Not that it won't be sweet to get him, but I wish people would put this in any sort of context.
One last thing, before I go. I have seen more than once people writing that the Coyotes should have good Karma (though, curiously no mention of how the moon's alignment will affect the draft lottery) because they didn't tank to get Matthews.
Uh, yes they did.
They very much tried to tank, and their insanely high 5v5 save percentage prevented it. Look at the stats my friends, the Coyotes are picking seventh because they had one of the luckiest seasons of all time. If they had a half-way decent team and got half the luck they did, they'd have made the Playoffs.
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