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NHL15 : The Rankings Don't Matter and Neither Does the Subject |
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I’m a fan of video games. Hell I was what you could designate with a frown and a grimace a “pro gamer” for a few years of my teenage life. Making a few hundred off of CS or COD4 tournaments seemed like bliss. I also indulged in the fantasy role playing that only true manly and beefy men partake in...the EA Sports franchise of NHL. Now with a new butt engine, one that simulates almost identically the feel and power of your favourite NHL superstar gliding down the ice! I’ll be honest here, I haven’t played an NHL game since 2008, which seemed to peak between the layers of realism and fun, beyond that every play-through seemed to be slogged down by the fact that this is a video game, not a simulation, so why the hell is this so crap compared to watching or playing the real game?
This is off point however, as the meat of what this is about is simply nothing. Why do we care what rankings EA has spawned? Why do we care what the worst video games company in the entire industry does? Why? What do we have to gain from it? Nothing. EA is one of the most corpulent companies in the world and despite not being “Madden.” They pretty much are the shills of the universe. Can’t wait for the DLC and always on mode to reach the sports franchises.
Here’s my gripe about the complaining, speculation or adulation on player rankings. It’s NOTHING/. In a game where enforcers are ranked at 80, 90% of NHL players are “75+” and any name recognizable asset is at least an 83, it is meaningless. Moronic even. The most flatulent prospect critic couldn’t give these rankings, the biggest homers on the net couldn’t, nay, wouldn’t give these rankings. We don’t live in a world of near perfection, nor does the NHL exist in a state of such. Quantification is easily laughable and one only needs to look at goalies to prove it. What is the difference between an 80 glove hand and an 85 glove hand? Please tell me because some goalies who have legitimate weaknesses on the glove hand have 80+, because if they are rated lower they enter ECHL levels of incompetence. This is the thing, Vesa Toskala back when he was massive shite was rated 87...let that sink in. One of the worst goalies in the last decade was rated 87...why? Simply because if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t be in the game. The game can’t pretend to have equality without making every player and character relatively similar in rank. The days of calling a spade a spade are gone in favour of marketing to every team and every fanbase.
I’ve recently seen comments about how Zdeno Chara (Norris runner-up) was rated at 91 and how it was a travesty because he was terrible against the Habs in the playoffs. What exactly would you rate a guy up for the Norris? This is a game where Colton Orr is an 82 rated player. If this was a legitimate ideal, Orr would be at a 30 and Chara at an 80. But this isn’t a legitimate ideal, it’s a virtual one designed to maximize profit and offend as little people as possible while still making certain dreadful players viable for a game that can’t quantify them. Just play GM Mode and see how long you keep these “80+” ranked players who are goons who can barely play in the NHL, let alone in a game not designed for them (see NHL Hits for said game).
Maybe you love the EA NHL franchise, and good for you, I’m not against it. It’s just stop the quibbling over what is not only an extraordinary useless contrivance, but also a baseless meandering satire of what hockey is. I’m not an advanced stats fanatic, but I must say, I’ll take their charts, graphs, spreadsheets and perceived arrogance over a number system that tells you that not only is everybody special, but they’re all equal too!
Top-Rated Fighters in NHL 14 Player Team Fighting Skill Rating
George Parros Florida Panthers (Before Update) 92
Shawn Thornton Boston Bruins 90
Milan Lucic Boston Bruins 90
Zdeno Chara Boston Bruins 90
John Scott Buffalo Sabres 90
Kevin Westgarth Carolina Hurricanes 90
Patrick Bordeleau Colorado Avalanche 90
Chris Neil Ottawa Senators 90
Matt Kassian Ottawa Senators 90
Zac Rinaldo Philadelphia Flyers 90
Steve MacIntyre Pittsburgh Penguins 90
That’s kind of all that needs to be said.
Can we please stop obsessing over perceived grievances about a game that is literally trying to make every player a star? Last I checked, an 80 is an A-, a grade most teachers are frothing at the mouth to give anybody with a glimmer of intelligence and hard work.
It’s a game, it will never please everyone and the constant moaning is beyond reprehensible.
As such, this moaning is the last you’ll hear from me on the subject.
Thanks for reading...as if I couldn't be worse than last time, yet here it is!
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