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Five Things To Hate About Hockey Fights |
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While cycling through some old fight tapes last week, I came across a spirited 1986 fight between the Flyers’ Dave Brown and Winnipeg Jets’ Jim Kyte. Brown landed close to six straight unanswered lefts to Kyte’s face before big Jim lowered the boom on Brownie with a single right that ended the fight. Hmm … I thought to myself, who won that fight? Brown who had slapped Kyte silly or Kyte who dropped Brown with a single punch? Call it a draw, I guess. Hearing Gene Hart call it for Brown and the Jets faithful screaming their heads off got me thinking about how silly some fans can be when their hometown hero gets whupped. Obviously, some fans, thoroughly blinded by their favorite teams’s colors or enraged by the colors of the opposition, are incapable of seeing what actually occurs before them, even with the benefit of streaming clips that can be rewound and studied in slow motion. Nothing bothers me more than a fan that can’t accept the truth … and they top my list of Five Things I Hate About Hockey Fights.
5. Silly Fans. It happens all the time. Player A throws and lands shot after shot until Player B (usually on the home team) realizes that he should have kept his gloves on and yanks Player B down to the ice by his jersey, pants, etc., sending the crowd into a frenzy as if he won the bout. This usually is followed by the same fans flaming anybody in a chat room that points out the truth: Player B got his ass kicked.
4. “Energy” Players. Has the NHL become so sanitized that announcers can no longer even call goons by their proper name, “goons”? Hey Flyers fans, Riley Cote is a goon, and not a very effective one at that (see number 5), no matter what Jim Jackson calls him. PL3? Goon. I should have seen this coming years ago when The Hockey News and other newspapers stopped reporting PIM leaders. I guess in the minds of Bettman and Campbell, if we don’t acknowledge fighting in the NHL it no longer exists.
3. The Jersey Jab. I recognize the effectiveness of the jab in boxing, I also understand that sometimes it’s the most offense a player can generate in a fight, especially if the opposing player is a deft defensive fighter. But it looks so damn silly, both in execution and effect, and suggests to me that somebody isn’t as committed to landing a good punch as he oughta be. Hell man, if you’re gonna fight, be in it to win it.
2. The Code. Yes, some restraint must be practiced in order to categorize hockey as a sport. Besides, if I’m looking for gang violence, I’ll just move back to my old neighborhood. And I get it, nobody is looking to embarrass another player because all it takes is one punch to turn the tables. But sometimes “the honor” system borders on stupid. To wit: If the guy I’m fighting is dumb enough to remove his helmet and face shield, then he deserves whatever lumps I am about to give him. Also, please keep the mitts on if you’re not sure you want to fight. And, hey, New York Rangers, Marion Gaborik, shouldn’t grab Dan Carcillo or anybody else in a scrum who is tougher than he is, unless he’s ready to go.
1. The Butt Pat. I used to cringe when I heard people talk about “staged” hockey fights, but it looks pretty damn bad when a player literally thanks another one for giving him the opportunity to knock his teeth out. When did this crap start? It’s nice to know these guys are so considerate toward one another, but please, keep the public display of gratitude “in the room” or in the press, or wherever it is goons go to express such sentiments, especially if you get your clock cleaned.
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