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School Days: Homestretch Homework

March 10, 2009, 1:54 PM ET [ Comments]

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Class, we have only 16 sessions remaining before the summer recess. I know it's tempting to coast into vacation, but we still have some important material to cover over these final weeks.

You've all shown yourselves to be hard workers, so I don't think you'll require too much extra motivation. But, just in case, here are your assignments for this year's final projects...

Kyle: Just keep doing what you're doing, but realize that you may be student president one day. For now, you are the de facto president of the underclassmen. The rest of the boys seem to gravitate to you, and you have the ability to be their leader. Also, go get the Calder Cup.

Josh: Skipping a grade is certainly tough, but you've obviously had the maturity for it even when the material has been challenging. Don't worry about the Cs you received on some of this term's exams—there's still time to get your average up. Also, don't forget that alum Clark Gillies once handed off his presidency to an equally capable student, Denis Potvin, when the time was right. You should prepare yourself to serve right alongside Kyle one day.

Frans: Join the group. You, more than perhaps any of the others, showed an early ability to mix well with the older boys. Lately you've been overshadowed by your classmates. Don't forget that you have every bit as much to offer as they do.

Blake: Your project is an independent study that carries over into the summer. Your physical tools are progressing nicely. Use the next several months to study your previous assignments and perfect your mental approach. Ensure that you never have a repeat of last September. Remember the adage: You may not be able to achieve perfection, but by striving for it you can achieve excellence.

Jack: Very specific assignment for you: Score three more goals, two on the power play. Then start talking to the administration about next year's enrollment fee. Don't do anything that would cause them to transfer you or suspend you next September.

Sean: Your enthusiasm and performance lately have been exemplary. Work with Coach Gordon on an outline for a report to be titled, "Being Satisfied and Other Dangers of Progress and Development." Be prepared to deliver the report on the very first day of next year's first term. Stay focused on discipline. Also, think seriously about running for a class officer position.

Jeff: First, you should be commended on your interpretation of Kyle's essay on not being happy just to be here. Still, you're going to need to work on your comprehension skills and submitting your work on time. Next year's lessons will move at a faster pace than this year's and you don't want to fall behind. Keep up the positive attitude.

Mike: I'm not sure how much more we'll see of you on the main campus this term, but you should do everything in your power to show the administration that you don't belong on the lower campus. You have nothing more to prove there. Prove you belong in the accelerated track. Your first couple of assignments have been noteworthy. The boys could use another mate like you to stick up for them and give them space when things get rough.

Jesse: You made a very good first impression when we didn't have enough participants for the recent spelling bee. Don't let your early success prevent you from focusing on your regularly assigned curriculum. There's still plenty of of work to do there.

Bruno: Get your lab partner, Mark, to help you with extra study sessions. He's a good role model and you already seem to be into good habits by emulating him.

Wrecker: Just stay within yourself. Don't kill anyone. Oh, what the heck—it's Toronto. Don't literally kill anyone.

Now, let's go out there and have a good field trip. As a reward for all your hard work this year, the school will be hosting a mixer at the rink when you get back. Since it wouldn't be a mixer without a little mixing, we've invited the young ladies from the Uniondale School for Ice Girls to join the festivities. Keep those hands above the crossbar at all times! We do have video review and the penalty box is open!
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