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Best Agitators? Not Avery.

October 24, 2008, 2:50 PM ET [ Comments]
Bill Clement
NHL Analyst • RSSArchiveCONTACT
Ok, with the Sean Avery rodeo having come and gone from Madison Square Garden it’s time to talk about agitators.

Let’s get one thing straight – you can’t be a successful agitator of you are disrupting your own team as much as you are the opposition. I was at the GM meetings in Chicago yesterday (no, not to attend but to do the NHL Hour on XM/Sirius Radio with commissioner Bettman) and spoke to 2 GM’s who totally felt that Avery will take more away from Dallas than he will contribute. I agree. As soon as an agitator becomes the show on and off the ice he is taking more from his locker room than he can ever re-deposit in contributions.

Agitators that have caught my eye this season:

Adam Burish – Chicago
If you’re playing the Hawks you’d better know when he is on the ice. He can stir it up with the best of them and if he gets the chance, he will loosen your chiclets. At 6’1”-189 he’s barely a middle-weight but will dance with big partners.

Patrick Kaleta – Buffalo
The Sabres wanted to draft a kid from Buffalo and they got one with the 176th pick in the 2004 draft. He agitates with his body and he hits like a tank, with complete disregard for the trees he is crushing. At 5’11”-195 he too is a middle-weight but a weight class for fighting purposes hasn’t been all that necessary yet as he has turtled a couple of times. He did show his strength is a bear-hugging contest with Brendon Witt of the Isles and tossed Witt on his back. Kaleta says he’s not afraid to drop the gloves and was just trying to help the team when he has turtled. There’s no arguing that. He has helped. But at some point his teammates will need him to back his game up to keep them on his side.

Derek Dorsett – Columbus
You want bang-for-the-buck? Check out Derek Dorsett! 5’11”-178…..a hundred and seventy-eight! He’s like a yellow jacket that just keeps stinging. (Did you know that wasps and bees only sting once but yellow jackets can sting multiple times? I learned all about this the day a yellow jacket went up my pant leg on the golf course). Dorsett is fearless and has had a bunch of fights hence he is the NHL PIMs leader. Bigger guys? No probs. He has even fought Andrew Peters of Buffalo (6’4”-247). Ok, Dorsett hasn’t won a fight yet this season but he has tied a bunch, and at his size a tie is as good as a win.

Ian Laperriere - Colorado
There may not be anybody better. The dirtier the job the more he thrives and he gives size away in most of his set-to’s. He’s always yapping and never hesitates to back it up. When he was younger he yapped too much for even some of his own ‘mates, but he picks his spots better now and seldom, if ever digs a hole for the Aves. At 34 he’s still going strong.
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