Something I really enjoyed about being stuck in a confined space where you can't really creatively think or ponder with some sophisticated help, is the fact that I got a real vacation. I got to roam about without the internet, or the interwebs, whilst still making a Colin Mochrie of myself. Thus is life, both for writer and reader, we all fall into the miasma of idiocy...I just try to hit it harder.
Last time I left you with the "good moves of the offseason." It was by no means a definitive list, nor did it take all my views into account. It was a cursory glance at the problems I felt had happened on the day, nothing more, nothing less.
This time we will examine the...odd moves, or "bad" moves as it were...also this method of writing is garbage, f the airport and making a series that needed this...
PA Parenteau for Daniel Briere
Aside from the publicity of French for French this is easily the biggest head scratcher out there. Sure, PA sucks defensively and can't skate well, but he puts up numbers...wait who? No not Dany, nah that was his definition from three years ago. The fact is Briere is so close to done it isn't funny, his playoff heroics are in the past and expecting some of that old brilliance is not only naà¯ve, but stupid. I get that they wanted to get rid of a burden on their cap space and a guy who was locked into their top-6 longer than they wanted. Yet PA offers so much more at so much similar...Ah who am I kidding, I dislike PA Parenteau, I think he's the second luckiest player since Matt Moulson, but regardless he has carved out his own niche as a purely offensive forward who can put up the points, something the Habs REQUIRE, Briere on the other hand is close to being done, done a strong career with nothing to be ashamed of, but done.
Neither brings enough to the table to be excited, but one has the age gap and hopefully a recovery from injury to prove he's worth something to a team that will want a second line winger over a fourth line centre.
Washington
Everything they did. I don't. Get. It. I don't understand. I...I'm at a loss for words. OV fill me in, oh never mind he lost his Tennis girl, we're in dire straits now. You just paid for a teams second pairing, you cocking realize you paid 11mil+ for a teams second pairing? One that bloody didn't exist? You bloody realize you're the laughing stock of the Edmonton Oilers? Who actually got people to show up with only a slight overpayment. What the cocks were you thinking of? Floppily woppily, dangling in the wind on a plate of pewter amidst a torrent of echinacea.
I will forgo the advanced stats saying Brooks Orpik is one of the shittest defenders out there, and I'll forgo the eye test to see that Niskanen had a few good months and hasn't held together a solid year in his life...all I need is the "I don't cocking care what you say it's insane and dumb and you have no GM you blind bloody idiots cocking about in a raw tent filled with menstruating dwarves falling for the chicanery of a successful Washington model where no GM exists." Sorry, projecting again. I hate these moves, I laugh at these moves, they remind me of when the Caps thought Erskine was a bloody NHL player, and they still do...lol, more and more they f themselves over and destroy their depth...we shall see if it continues because now they have no excuse for a poor defense with that budget...now what about that one line forward core?? Ohhh the controversy! It's like 2009 all over again but the opposite, let's blame Ovechkin again regardless!
Jake Gardiner for 5 Years
So I saw the news that Jake Gardiner got a 5 year deal and I sort of blanched. I knew it was likely coming, but I blanched regardless. It seemed like proof that marginality needs rewarding and relevancy is key. Gardiner is talked about among the Leafs faithful as a cornerstone defender, yet is used primarily like a novelty dispenser by Carlyle. His point production is relatively impressive for his time on ice and PP time, but numbers aren't everything. His possession stats are fine as well. So what am I complaining about? Well it's the whole "watching the games problem." Gardiner plays a lot like some of the big offensive stars in the league, the "Subban's, Karlsson's, Yandle's, etc." but he isn't them. As poorly worded as that is, it's true, he isn't them. He is a one dimensional defender with the moniker of "potential" flying around his head. Not somebody that I would give a long and fairly lucrative deal to. In the end this could be a steal if Gardiner improves and develops according or maybe even infinitesimally to a projected future...but now I'll put it in the "Ok Show Me Bin," a bin that holds guys like Kulikov, Bogosian etc. off similar deals. SHOW US, please.
Jason Spezza and the Senators
So I have very little invested in this whole deal, but I look at the Sens off-season and I see the potential for either the biggest disaster in sports, or an unspectacular ending. The Sens dealt their odd laughing captain after another injury littered year and invested their money in...Milan Michokelek for three more years despite his only good years coming with Spezza or Thornton "playmaking centres," and having knees...or something. They will go with a mix of youth and non...youth, something I approve of since I like the Sens prospect pool, though what is the projection for this team? Are they a bottom seed contender? Anderson has proven his "On again, Off again" years give him the ability to take them to a higher level, yet this is still a team in an odd transition. I am mixed on what they have done and what they are going into the year with, they enter with a defense that has proven to be poor with some potential improvement via experience, a forward core that looks pedestrian at best barring extreme development/career years and goaltending that should be above average to elite depending on how much you believe in the Fairy Wish Prince Andy or Robin Hood Lehner (whom I love). I get the move, I understand why they wanted a new direction...but bloody hell, get more than Chiasson who couldn't score without his top line mates and mountains of offensive starts or keeping Milan Michalek who isn't the same player he was, and in reality has only ever been that player twice in his career.
Thanks for reading, though I know you slogged through it with distaste. I'll be on the next Podcast, so if you need to complain in semi-person that would be the best way.