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This weekend is a momentous one for me on two fronts, and I would like to share it with my readers. The ongoing National Hockey League playoffs are of interest to me, of course, but they are not the primary topics on my mind.
First, as a proud father and hockey parent, I am watching my two sons, McCauley (age 19) and Maxwell (age 15), play in the Chowder Cup tourney. In their eyes, I see the hopefulness of youth, the excitement of being watched and the dream of perhaps playing collegiate hockey. I see the perpetual cycle of the game that's become my lifelong passion, and the torch being passed.
No matter what, I want McCauley and Max to know that I am proud of them. All I have ever wanted as their father is for them to find their passions, pursue them wholeheartedly and with both self-respect and respect for others, so that they may never look back with regret. Do that, and there is ultimate peace of mind and heart regardless of short-term highs and lows.
Secondly, I am being inducted tomorrow into the Groton Athletics Hall of Fame at my alma mater. I am deeply humbled by this honor. I was told that, at the induction ceremony, I will have two minutes to convey my thoughts and thank whomever I need to thank -- and it is a very long list of people who positively shaped my life, starting with my late father and the late Junie O'Brien (my coach at Groton) among many others.
Two minutes, huh? Well, as a longtime hockey referee, I am quite comfortable with doling out two-minute assignments. Then again, if you saw me in my playing days, I was usually getting five minutes, often accompanied by an additional 10. Two minutes it is, though, so I hope I can make it count.
The legendary Bob Hope and Bing Crosby espoused the belief that need a strong opening and a memorable close-out, and that's how I am aiming to structure my acceptance speech. I am an emotional man, and a sentimental one as well. Being chosen for this honor -- much less to do in the same induction class as the late Olympic rowing gold medalist Sy Cromwell, the 1957 Groton varsity hockey team, as well as track and field standout Caroline Bierbaum LeFrak and the 2002 varsity tennis team -- is something I never expected to happen.
When I look back at my youth, I think I let myself get too caught up in whether others perceived I belonged or didn't belong. I was a tough kid from a rough section of Boston, and I found myself forging that as my identity along with being an athlete. I'll confess something, though. While I know I was a tough kid who could fight -- and would do so very willingly-- I was also a very scared kid when I was at Groton and even at Penn.
I was scared that I wasn't smart enough. I was scared that I really didn't really belong. I was afraid of others seeing that were fear -- which I guess I mistook for weakness, but understand now to be healthy and motivating -- that drove my ambitions and made me double down on the work ethic that I inherited from my dad and my famous late grandfather. These were all things that drove me, even as I graduated Groton and Penn. They drove me during my hockey playing career and they drove me as I established myself as an NHL referee.
I have worked many, many different types of jobs both at the rink and away from the rink. I've owned side businesses and I have worked for others. From a personal standpoint, it took me a very long time to attain peace of mind that I wasn't always destined to be the kid who had to very literally fight for any little bit of keep I took away. It took decades to look back and say to myself, "You know what, Paul? You've really done well for yourself and by your family." I no longer care if I have steak or lobster tail to eat after I leave the rink. But I do get satisfaction out of seeing a loved one enjoy their meal.
Coming to that place of peace in my heart and mind -- beyond knowing I could count on my toughness and would work, work and work some more when I wanted something -- was very liberating. As a father, I don't want my boys to ever have that same struggle to get to that place.
Anyway, these are the thoughts that have gone through my mind ever since I found about the Hall of Fame honor from Groton. Close friends often ask me, "Don't you have any rooting interest in any hockey game? Do you always think like a ref?"
Well, the answer to this is that when I have zero professional involvement or watching from analytical standpoint, yes, I do sometimes root for people I like or from the standpoint of what I think would be a nice boost to the sport.
In this year's Stanley Cup playoffs, I'd personally like to see the Nashville Predators win. First of all, I think they play an entertaining brand of attack-based hockey -- I've always liked Peter Laviolette's system and wish more teams played from a mental framework of wanting to attack more, defend less but defend diligently when the situation dictates it. It's a very up-tempo brand of hockey, hard to execute properly and which requires the right horses personnel wise, but which is a pleasure to watch.
Additionally, though, there's a personal angle. I'd love to see David Poile get his name on the Stanley Cup. I think he's an excellent general manager but, even more importantly, a wonderful man. His family and mine go way back together; generations, fact. The Poiles, from Bud to David, were always very classy to me. David in particular treated me with nothing but kindness and respect when he was the Washington Capitals general manager and I was an NHL ref. I considered him a friend as well as a really bright hockey person.
So, yes, I'd love to David have the honor of lifting the Cup. In the East, I have always liked the way Barry Trotz coaches -- there's a good reason why David Poile kept him on for so long as the Predators' coach -- and would have liked to see his team deliver for him. Barry is another truly classy guy but he's also a very good coach who knows when to be firm, knows how to prepare a team and also knows how to interact with players, officials and the media. If I were starting an NHL team, he'd be exactly the type of guy I'd want behind my bench.
I also have some thoughts on Alex Ovechkin, but I will save those for another blog. For now, I will say that while I don't think he's done as an effective NHL player, I do think changes are needed both for his sake and the Capitals. My own gut feeling of an ideal scenario is that he could have a Jaromir Jagr-like resurgence if he "retired" from the NHL for a few years to go to the KHL and then came back, whether with Washington or another team.
Mind you, these are my thoughts as a hockey fan and not with me wearing the proverbial striped jersey. Actually, there aren't any proverbs specifically coined about hockey referees. We just have to find other proverbs that apply to the job.
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Paul Stewart holds the distinction of being the first U.S.-born citizen to make it to the NHL as both a player and referee. On March 15, 2003, he became the first American-born referee to officiate in 1,000 NHL games.
Today, Stewart serves as director of hockey officiating for the ECAC.