The Coyotes got some bad news as camp got under way this week, and I don't just mean that their official twitter accountant has become way too comfortable using the phrase "Howl Yeah":
#Coyotes GM John Chayka says Derek Stepan and Michael Grabner are deemed "unfit to play" and did not practice today.
— Richard Morin (@ramorin_azc) July 13, 2020
Teams cannot comment any further on the injury/health status of players.
Now, remember, even though the NHL shut down over Covid, no one is allowed to know if anyone has it.
The games second biggest star contracting a disease that shut down the league? Apparently that's not allowed to be news.
So, like your dad might have when you were a kid, Grabner and Stepan probably just "went out for cigarettes" and should be "right back."
Now on to the good part:
Coyotes Top 50 Players of All-Time
On Sunday, causing one user to have an absolute breakdown, and obviously because I've never actually seen a game of hockey, I named Legend Keith Yandle as the Coyotes 6th best player.
Today we enter the top five, which means things are starting to get good. I think, I don't know, I just picked these names out of a hat. We are talking about baseball, right?
For your consideration, at #5: Oliver Ekman Larsson.
The Swedish Werewolf Hunter aka OEL aka "Larsy" is the best draft pick in team history, and its fifth best player.
Only a recent decline in his game kept him from a higher ranking, but at his peak he was Norris Trophy worthy king who deserved much more league-wide praise than he got.
He hasn't been great since he signed his new contract, but he's still just 28.
Hard to believe, but OEL is second in Coyotes games played and third in scoring all-time.
Welcome to the top 5!
50: Limitless 49: Oh Brother Where Art Though? 48: Role Models 47: the Rock 46: Mission Impossible Franchise 45: Nicholas Cage Man Tetrology 44:Heat 43: The Art of Self Defense 42:Walk Hard 41: The Winter Soldier 40:Taken 39: The 6th Day 38: Groundhog Day 37. The Batman Trilogy - Christopher Nolan 36: Jackie Brown 35: Gremlins 34: Who Framed Roger Rabbit 33: Speed 32: Adventure Land 31: Eyes Wide Shut 30: Semi Pro 29. Endgame/Ragnorak Trilogy 28. Baby Driver 27: Next 26: Keanu 25:Annie Hall 24: Catch Me If You Can 23: Serpico 22: Pop Star: Never Stop Stopping 21: Passenger 57 20: The John Hughes Trilogy 19: MacGruber 18: Source Code 17 Live. Die. Repeat 16. The Lethal Weapon Franchise 15: Paycheck 14: The Fugitive 13: The Prestige 12: Enemy of the State 11: Con Air 10: High Fidelity 09: Zodiac 08: the Terminator 07: the Royal Tannenbaums 06: Face/Off
Today, kicking off the top-five is the classic Arnold Schwarzenegger movie Total Recall.
The highlight of one of the best careers in Hollywood history, Recall casts Arnold in a movie so mindbending it considers Inception to be its bitch.
Proving that you don't have to understand a script to star in it, Arnold was amazing as Quaid, and as usual, Paul Verhoeven directs a movie so schlocky you almost miss its depth and meaning.
The combo of peak Arnie with Verhoeven and a Phillip K Dick short story is one of the best in movie history. I realize that my list of action favorites is not filled with the kinds of movies that "film critics" usually like, but Total Recall legitimately deserves to be considered alongside the Godfather and Citizen Kane.
As an added bonus, this movie features Arnie's best ever one-liner when he shoots his so-called-wife in the head (while she is trying to kill him) and says:
"Consider that our Divorce!"