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It's been over six years since Marc Savard last played in an NHL game. His contract, which was set to keep him a member of the Boston Bruins for the rest of his career, has been used as a cap-bumper by two different teams now, and will finally come off the Devils' books this summer.
Savard's career should not have ended like this.
In a piece published on The Players' Tribune today, the now 39-year-old Savard touched on that, and how his career came crashing to a halt in a 10-month span from Mar. 2010 to Jan. 2011, the first on a cheapshot blow to the head from Matt Cooke and the second on a routine hit from Matt Hunwick.
From Savard's story:
I was coming down the wing at full speed. Matt Hunwick leaned in and hit me clean. Unfortunately, he caught me just right, and my head whiplashed off the glass. Back then, Colorado’s glass was seamless. It was notoriously unforgiving.I immediately dropped to my knees. I had my eyes wide open, and I couldn’t see anything. Everything was black. I shut my eyes, and then opened them again. All black.
That’s when I started to panic. Because I knew it was over. I just knew. I remember hearing the voice of our trainer, Don DelNegro, asking me what I felt.
And I just kept saying, “Why me? I don’t understand, Donny. Why me?…
My teammates escorted me to the dressing room, and I had a tough couple of minutes in there. I was sobbing. I remember my coach, Claude Julien, coming in and trying to console me. But I couldn’t be consoled. I knew I had just played my last game in the NHL. I kept thinking: “I have kids. I have a family to worry about. I’m only 33. What am I going to do? I can’t go through this pain again. I can’t go through these dark days. Again.…
With his career -- which featured 207 goals and 706 points in 807 contests, including his best days with 74 goals and 305 points in 304 games with the Bruins -- cut short, Savard struggled with the unexpected-but-expected mental aspects of a concussion.
"I never actually had thoughts of taking my own life, but psychologists have a rating system that they use to track your mental state, and at one point, my symptoms were so serious that I was considered suicidal," Savard wrote. "I don’t say that to be dramatic, or to make anyone feel sorry for me. It’s simply the truth. I was in a very dark place, and I think it’s a place that a lot of people struggling with postconcussion syndrome get to."
Savard made his return (and did he ever) with a Game 1 overtime goal scored against the Flyers in the second round of the 2010 playoffs, but as the series dragged on, Savard hit a wall, which he admitted in this piece, and would ultimately play in just 25 more games before the aforementioned Hunwick hit put an end to his career.
"I went through some dark times, but I’ll never say anything bad about the game of hockey," Savard said. "It has given me the life I have today. It gave me a lot more good times than bad times."
Ty Anderson is the Boston Bruins beat writer for WEEI.com, and has been covering the National Hockey League for HockeyBuzz.com since 2010. He can be heard on the Saturday Skate program on 93.7 WEEI (Boston), and has been part of the Boston Chapter of the PHWA since 2013. Contact him on Twitter or send him an email at Ty.AndersonHB[at]gmail.com.