Follow @james_tanner123 But guess what?
I hate golf and none of the teams I cheer for are going to make the Playoffs. Do I dare declare for Les Canadiens? I might, but it's hard to cheer against the c'est une Senators at this point, but I do know one thing: whatever team I declare I will be cheering against will have their angriest fan dropping me mean tweets from now until......we'll honestly, two hours after this goes up, but you get my point.
I mean, the Penguins have only had one of the top 2 players in the NHL for like 30 straight years, won 29 scoring titles and three Cups, but should a lowly Coyotes blogger indulge in a little base jealousy, all hell will break loose.
(Side note: You know it's been a rough season when the team name is italicized and not the nearly pejorative term "blogger.")
But seriously guys, you know who is totally, like, not wicked-awesome? The Bruins, and may their Playoff hopes dwindle like the odds of me winning a Grammy for blog of the year.
(Side note #2: It's my birthday. But, y'know it's no big deal, just dropping that casually into the conversation in case anyone wants to send me a Red Lobster Gift Certificate or a DVD box set of Who's the Boss?)
The penguins still have a 95% probability of making the Playoffs, and the Kings have a lower probability than the Senators. I learned that from Twitter. I will just assume it's true. *
Know what else I leaned from Twitter? That grown adult men talk about the love lives of Pop Stars with no shame. Like, here is a list of things I'd never admit to, in order: 1. Peeing my pants. 2. Not watching the news. 3. Caring about the lives of famous people.
Hell, I wouldn't even ask one person on this earth for their autograph. I wouldn't even get the ghost of David Foster Wallace to sign my copy of Infinite Jest if he popped by for some reason, nor would I get Mr. Bruce Springsteen to sign my shirtless chest. Again.
I have been told that this is almost unbearably pretentious and that getting people's autorgraphs is super normal.
(Side Note Three: Casually dropping David Wallace into a conversation is even more pretentious than either a casual birthday mentioning or not getting autographs; I am well aware).
Back to hockey. Let me tell you, I am psyched up for tonight's Coyotes game. Look for the Coyotes best forward, B.J Crombeen, to get around 24 minutes tonight. What else is there to say about this one? The Coyotes have nothing to play for, the Canucks have nothing to play for and I have no reason to watch it. But I still will because why not? As long as the Jays games doesn't go into extras there's no reason not to.
Hockey is still hockey. And if this blog has a point, it's that it's still entertaining to watch the game, even if it's April and the team you watch hasn't played a meaningful game since November 1st.
And honestly, with the invention of the DVR, this has never been more true. I can skip intermissions and fast forward between whistles and watch a whole game in just over an hour. Modern technology........outside of Skynet, what's not to like?
I have to say, if this is all over the place, accept my apologies. Couldn't sleep last night, had an early class, almost deliriously tired. So once again, I hate golf, people who use the term "selfie," pretentious, self-aggrandizing bloggers and irony.
I do enjoy long walks on the beach, reading in bed and cat videos.
Go Coyotes!
(I guess.....now that the tanking thing is behind us, it's really just an exhibition game).
Thanks for reading.
Best song ever? It's close.
*Tweeted by Stephen Burtch, so I'll put the probability of its truthiness at 99.9%.