Maintaining Respect -- and Authority -- as an Official

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Whether it was Robbie Ftorek, Jacques Demers, Rick Dudley, Brian Burke or anyone else on the playing and management side of the game, I had to earn their respect all over again as a referee after I made the switch from being a player. These were all people with whom I'd built relationships over the years. I would rather have died than diminish that respect by doing something that could be viewed as favoritism or as disadvantageous to the fairness of the game I had sworn I would safeguard.

People who aren't in this business may not understand what I am talking about, but you enter a whole different realm when you pull on the striped sweater. As a player, your focus is to win. Same in coaching. Same in management. As an official, my objective was to do everything in my power for the two teams to have a fair and safe game. I had the rules to guide me, my fellow officials as my sole teammates, and that was it.

People have asked me how I could officiate games involving former teammates and coaches of mine. It was simple. I protected those relationships away from the ice by never even making it a consideration on the ice. I judged the same regardless of the political fallout or who would be mad at my decisions.

Now this is going to sound self-contradictory to some, but what I am really referring to is getting to know various people in the on-ice context of officiating: when merited, I controlled some with a bit longer leash or dealt with them using a longer fuse. Everyone had to know that I would do my job the same way regardless of the teams involved, the standings or the score.

I was the perfect person to referee in that I never lacked the moxie to make the tough (and perhaps unpopular) call. Don't underestimate that trait, which I will discuss in greater detail in my next blog, because this is something that can't be taught and is part of the "it" factor to make it as an official along with more tangible traits such as skating ability positioning.

A confident official is one who doesn't fear making the right call or the decision based on his or her experience, positioning and feel. It doesn't matter whose building you're in. It doesn't matter what your personal history is with someone else. In the officiating realm, friendship doesn't matter but mutual respect certainly does. That is what acceptability is about -- a two-way street.

Once you gain respect, the last thing you want to do is to lose the respect. I may not be liked by some folks around this game, but you won't find many whose opinions are worth paying heed to who would say I did not earn their respect.

In any realm, one has to deal with a certain number of lunkheads and troglodytes who don't know how put aside something that arose on the ice. If you can't handle those folks, officiating isn't for you.

Believe me, I've run into a few jokers who've brought out the Dorchester boy in me and made me want to twist that person's tie. Over the years, though, I've learned to just keep moving. The old salt that those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter was never truer than when it comes to being an official -- especially one who used to be a player.

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The longtime referee heads Officiating by Stewart, a consulting, training and evaluation service for officials. Stewart also maintains a busy schedule as a public speaker, fund raiser and master-of-ceremonies for a host of private, corporate and public events. As a non-hockey venture, he is the owner of Lest We Forget.