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Ever the Irishman, I have had several instances in my career when coaches and I have gotten nose-to-nose in high volume "discussions" with the f-bombs flying back and forth. It usually is not so funny at the time when the temperatures are up in a chilly rink in the dead of winter or a sweltering building during playoff time. Later on, though, both of you usually end of laughing about it during the offseason or years later at poolside in Naples during the Coach's Convention.
You must understand, it's part of the game. I get that and so do my peers. I have often said, I never taken anything said to me on the ice personally. There is no carryover, no grudge for anything that happens in the heat of battle.
Friction and nose-to-nose confrontations are part of the game and part of the lore. The people that are usually walking away in horror are those that have never had to muck it up in the corners or go in harm's way through the slot. I'd like to think that we professionals get it and carry on.
Years ago, Andre Savard confronted me in the hallway in the AHL's rink in Fredericton. Savard threw a punch and hit me just under my chin but more in the chest.
.I stood there, laughed a bit and asked him, "Is that the best you've got?"
My buddy, linesman Romeo LeBlanc (rest in peace, my friend) got between us and I walked into my dressing room. I had to report it to AHL president Jack Butterfield.
Andre got fined for the incident. However, I never mentioned the punch as it really didn't really qualify as a "good one." I hardly even felt it.
A few weeks later, I was walking through the Montreal Forum Zamboni Pit and who should be coming the other way? Why, it was my buddy, Andre Savard.
I stuck my hand out and asked him in my best French, "Andre, ça va?"
He looked a little surprised but then responded with "Pas Mal."
We both then chuckled and walked on our way. In hockey, it's a little bit about passion and a little bit about respect....you won't get one if you don't have the other.
This should go without saying: I am not advocating or condoning a policy of coaches or players physically confronting officials or even heatedly verbally confronting them. However, if it happens, it does not shock or especially offend me. It's part of life in the game.
In my refereeing career, I only ever handed four bench minors, involving three different coaches. One of the coaches whom I nabbed was Robbie Ftorek. I consider Ftorek of my closest friends in the world. He is a former teammate of mine with the Cincinnati Stingers in the WHA and Quebec Nordiques in the NHL and someone whom I have known for most of my life.
The confrontation did not end our friendship. Robbie was passionate about his job and advocating for his team. I was doing my job, about which I was and am passionate. That's just how it goes in hockey.
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Paul Stewart holds the distinction of being the first U.S.-born citizen to make it to the NHL as both a player and referee. On March 15, 2003, he became the first American-born referee to officiate in 1,000 NHL games.
Today, Stewart is an officiating and league discipline consultant for the Kontinental Hockey League (KHL) and serves as director of hockey officiating for the Eastern College Athletic Conference (ECAC).
The longtime referee heads Officiating by Stewart, a consulting, training and evaluation service for officials, while also maintaining a busy schedule as a public speaker, fund raiser and master-of-ceremonies for a host of private, corporate and public events. As a non-hockey venture, he is the owner of Lest We Forget.
Stewart is currently working with a co-author on an autobiography.