Follow @james_tanner123 Well no need for me to write a game recap - there are already two up on the site! Who knew there was so much interest in a Coyotes vs Red Wings game?
Not me. I mean, I sure didn't have much.
We're talking about a game so exciting I almost abandoned it after the first period to watch a 'sode of Scrubs! Just kidding, I would rather watch a TSN intermission panel than put myself through that.
Anyways, the Coyotes won playing perhaps their greatest game of the year.
Oh, wait, scratch that. I was imagining an alternative universe where a league suffering from boring low scoring games didn't institute a ridiculous rule to sap the game of even more excitement. I don't know about you guys, but the feeling I get from watching the referees converge by the penalty box for seventeen minutes at a time is the kind I don't usually talk about in public. We're talking Scarlett Johansson shaking water from her hair in slow motion kind of excitement.
I mean was that goal a millimeter offside? How did we even get watch hockey in years past before this absolutely fantastic new innovation?
It beats me.
I tell you what, a dream night for me is finding out that I am out of beers and then watching referees talk for a bit, followed by Mike Smith floundering in the net like a drunk seal to the point where the game is over after 20 minutes. After that happens, my favorite thing is to flip over to TSN to see guys getting paid bizarre amounts of money to give worse commentary than an internet comment section.
1. The option to cheer for a team with more than one NHL centre.
2. That a professional sports league wouldn't take intentional steps to worsen it's product.
3. That a professional goalie could stop a puck from centre ice? (#LacesOutDan)
4. That the league's preeminent broadcaster would hire commentators that do more than look at a player's goal totals before they rip him on national TV.
I guess maybe I am too demanding.
But I accidentally almost watched an episode of Scrubs and I am on edge.
The Coyotes have now played back to back games that were so bad, so absolutely soul-destroying that they resembled Cormac McCarthy novels more than hockey games. In normal circumstances you would think the coach would be fired. But really, you're going to fire Tippett because he can't win games with a seal in net, a couple of ECHL centremen and a Klaus Dahlbeck on the backend? That wouldn't be exactly fair.
No, I'd have to set my sights a little higher in the organization if I was going to fire someone.
But then again, I am the guy who thinks that it wouldn't be crazy if the main influencers of the NHL's fans offered more than surface-level goals-equal-good-play analysis or that an NHL goalie could stop a shot from centre ice.
Oh and those two hits? Please. One guy just fell awkwardly and the other one was accidental - though I wouldn't be against suspending Klaus Dahlbeck just on principle.
Anyways, it's on to Buffalo tonight to see just how ugly this can get.
Good times. Thanks for reading.