Look, if the Leafs can somehow move David Clarkson and his ill-advised, buy-out proof contract, then surely it's no guarantee that the Sabres are going to finish last.
At this point, what is guaranteed? Could Fox "News" lose the quotation marks? Could Maroon 5 find their first cool fan? Could Def Leppard's drummer re-grown his arm? Could we finally get a Fred Clause Too!
Were living in a post-Clarkson world and anything is possible baby.
So check this out: The Coyotes have played 62 games and they have 47 points. The Oilers have played the same amount of games and are only a point back.
The Oilers will pass the Coyotes, they've been the better team all season and only bad luck and an improbable 5 game losing streak to the Coyotes makes it look so close.
But here's the kicker: The Sabres have 43 points. Just four points or two games behind the Coyotes.
Four Points.
And here's an even better kicker: the Coyotes have a way better roster than the Sabres do. The Sabres can't match OEL, Vermette, Smith or Yandle. So, come Monday, the teams should be a lot closer.
My advice to the Coyotes: Rookie goalies. If you even have to dress a goalie. I mean, here is the thing: stop being so insincere and tank like you mean it.
I am not kidding. Connor McDavid is so good that he could single-handedly turn hockey around in Arizona like Lemeiux did in Pittsburgh thirty years ago.
And the NHL has no rules to stop you. All that stops you is your dumb pride and what other GMs might say.
Be a rebel. All that stands in your way is to sign a goalie from some obscure Men's Roller Hockey league and give him a deal for the rest of the season. Call up all your rookies, trade Yandle and Vermette like you already should have done and then put OEL on the IR.
If you lose the lottery, you get Jack Eichel, so you literally can't lose.
It's time to show Buffalo how real teams tank.
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Oh, there was a game last night, which, clearly, the Coyotes lost. I am sure the Rangers blog has some juice there for ya if you need to know how it went.
Myself, I decided I'd rather hang with my lady-friend and watch the series finale of Parks and Rec. Now, I loved that show but the ending wasn't for me. As someone who at least pretentiously considers themselves a writer, I don't care for the technique they employed, but there was one part that made me laugh so hard there were tears streaming down my face and I almost choked on a pretzel - the part where Jean Ralphio fakes his own death, which might actually have been the highlight of the whole series.
Here's why you sign a road-hockey goalie: