Let’s be real – it’s nearly August, and you, as an NHL fan, have grown accustomed to (and rather fond of) not leaving the house swathed in 42 layers of heat-preserving clothes, and you’ve confirmed it’s not in the least bit shabby to walk down to the neighborhood outdoor pool and take a refreshing dip. Are there elements of the hockey year you miss? Of course. The day-to-day grind of regular-season competition, the unexpected controversies, the highlight-reel plays, the “he-said-WHAT-NOW?… surprising soundbites – they’re all part of what makes the fall, winter and spring exhilarating.
But let’s be realer – there are a few things about the modern-day game you’re probably not missing at the moment. They’re not enough to drive you away from the sport, but they are perturbing enough to stick in your craw. And your craw deserves better. You should be kind to your craw.
What kinds of annoyances am I talking about? I’m glad I asked! Here are three things I don’t miss at all about hockey season:
1. The offside challenge. We’ve seen the slow creep of video replay extend deeper into the NHL product, and as someone who advocated for that, I can’t be overly critical of the process. If the technology exists to get the call right, and it can improve the calls made by on-ice officials whose senses can be overwhelmed by the sheer speed of the action, it makes sense to utilize video replay.
However, the increase in replay has underscored the inherent subjectivity of officiating at the ice level and in the replay booth, and it’s wearying to know that, no matter what the call is, fans of the team that’s on the losing end of it will bleat and moan that they’ve been besmirched by the powers-that-be. Add to that problem the impact video replay has had on goals scored on offside plays – goals that, far more often than not, have no direct connection to a half-a-skate-blade being over the blueline – and you’ve created a time-wasting situation that takes away more from the entertainment experience than it does to the integrity of the game.
The fans don’t like it, the players don’t like it, and the media doesn’t like it, so it’s no shock the video review for offside goals was a focus of NHL GMs at their most recent gathering. And if the proposed solution to mitigating the number of times coaches are prepared to go to the review booth – a two-minute bench minor penalty for challenges that fail to overturn a goal scored on an allegedly offside play – comes to pass, we’ll all be more contented viewers when the games return in the fall.
2. Commercial saturation. If you watch a lot of hockey – be it the hockey played by your favorite team, or be it as many games you can squeeze into the week on your satellite TV package – you’re probably driven to the point of insanity by the relentless usage of the same advertisements in each and every commercial break. I’m sure there’s some marketing guru who can explain to me why constantly hammering home an identical message 10 times in a three-hour broadcast helps move product, but all I know is that tactic makes me not want to buy anything, nor does it arouse in me the urge to buy the song the ad comes wrapped in. I mean, if Imagine Dragons welcomed me to the new age one more time in 2013, I was prepared to permanently set up shop in the bronze age.…¨…¨
The advent of the PVR makes many ads a non-factor in most viewing, but in live sports-watching, the networks have got your full attention. There’s no need to induce eye ulcers in viewers simply because companies with something to sell you don’t have a B-side ad they can mix in with their main one.
3. Play-by-play of training camp scrimmages. I understand there’s a hard-core group of fans who want to know every muscle twinge and batted lash that takes place under an NHL team’s umbrella once players end their summers and show up for work. But we all have our lines in the sand when it comes to minutiae, and for me, that line is the social media breakdown (emphasis on breakdown) of practices and scrimmages at training camps. If something newsworthy comes during one of the scrimmages – an injury, a fight between teammates – I can see why it should be communicated. It’s also fair to comment on a player’s overall impact over the course of all practices and intra-squad games. But play-by-play of scrimmages? Sorry, but no, not for me. I go full Allen Iverson in this instance.
There’s something to be said for keeping a watchful eye over a team. But have you ever been stared at by someone who never blinks? Totally unnerving, right? That’s how I feel about training camp scrimmage play-by-play. Let’s blink a little, everyone.