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Forums :: Misc. Lounge :: Epic Posts.
Author Message
CaptainRivet
Buffalo Sabres
Location: on Bored, NY
Joined: 12.26.2008

Nov 30 @ 4:07 PM ET
still the champ
- BingoLady

How could I forget???
CaptainRivet
Buffalo Sabres
Location: on Bored, NY
Joined: 12.26.2008

Nov 30 @ 4:07 PM ET
gazoo!
- kicksave856

soundgarden?
kicksave856
Philadelphia Flyers
Location: i love how not saying dumb things on the internet was never an option.
Joined: 09.29.2005

Nov 30 @ 4:10 PM ET
soundgarden?
- CaptainRivet



yes.
aschuter82
Colorado Avalanche
Location: Cypress Creek
Joined: 06.18.2010

Nov 30 @ 4:41 PM ET
soundgarden?
- CaptainRivet

Embarrasing isnt it?
CaptainRivet
Buffalo Sabres
Location: on Bored, NY
Joined: 12.26.2008

Nov 30 @ 5:21 PM ET
Embarrasing isnt it?
- aschuter82

I feel like punching myself in the throat
Rid-October
Location: Sean Connery doesn't take time
Joined: 11.02.2010

Dec 1 @ 12:51 AM ET
THERE OFFENSE IS (frank)ING poopT...THEY HAVE poopT PLAYERS..THEY DON'T HAVE A NUMBER ONE CENTRE A POWER FORWARD...THEIR D IS GARBAGE..what more do you want?

-LeafNation87
Rid-October
Location: Sean Connery doesn't take time
Joined: 11.02.2010

Dec 1 @ 8:16 PM ET
You know what Napoleon's gonna do? He's gonna get himself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible, hot pink, with whale skin hubcaps and all leather cow interior and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights. Yeah! And he's gonna drive around in that baby at 115 miles an hour, getting 1 mile per gallon, sucking down quarter pounder cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non- biodegradable Styrofoam containers! And when he's done suckin' down those grease ball burgers he's gonna wipe his mouth on the Maple Leafs flag and then toss the Styrofoam containers right out the side, and there ain't a God-damned thing anybody can do about it. You know why? Because he's friends with Burke, that's why!

Two words--Brian !@#$ing Burke, OK? Detroit, Chicago, Pittsburgh - they can have all the success they want. They can have a Cup parade right through the middle of Bay Street and it won't make a lick of difference, because he's got Brian Burke, OK? Punch Imlach's not dead - he's frozen! And when we find a cure for cancer, we're gonna thaw out Punch and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? You ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by 15 million times. That's how pissed off Punch's gonna be.

I'm gonna get Punch and Gary Roberts and Wendel Clark and Doug Gilmour and a case of whiskey and drive down to the ACC and straighten them out damn it!
-U_G


kicksave856
Philadelphia Flyers
Location: i love how not saying dumb things on the internet was never an option.
Joined: 09.29.2005

Dec 1 @ 8:22 PM ET
You know what Napoleon's gonna do? He's gonna get himself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible, hot pink, with whale skin hubcaps and all leather cow interior and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights. Yeah! And he's gonna drive around in that baby at 115 miles an hour, getting 1 mile per gallon, sucking down quarter pounder cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non- biodegradable Styrofoam containers! And when he's done suckin' down those grease ball burgers he's gonna wipe his mouth on the Maple Leafs flag and then toss the Styrofoam containers right out the side, and there ain't a God-damned thing anybody can do about it. You know why? Because he's friends with Burke, that's why!

Two words--Brian !@#$ing Burke, OK? Detroit, Chicago, Pittsburgh - they can have all the success they want. They can have a Cup parade right through the middle of Bay Street and it won't make a lick of difference, because he's got Brian Burke, OK? Punch Imlach's not dead - he's frozen! And when we find a cure for cancer, we're gonna thaw out Punch and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? You ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by 15 million times. That's how pissed off Punch's gonna be.

I'm gonna get Punch and Gary Roberts and Wendel Clark and Doug Gilmour and a case of whiskey and drive down to the ACC and straighten them out damn it!
-U_G



- Red-October


that's a denis leary bit from his "no cure for cancer" tour. very funny show. i own the cd.

actually pretty funny what he did with the names there.
Rid-October
Location: Sean Connery doesn't take time
Joined: 11.02.2010

Dec 1 @ 8:33 PM ET
that's a denis leary bit from his "no cure for cancer" tour. very funny show. i own the cd.

actually pretty funny what he did with the names there.

- kicksave856

It was understood what it was, but the fact that U_G said posted it makes it epic.
kicksave856
Philadelphia Flyers
Location: i love how not saying dumb things on the internet was never an option.
Joined: 09.29.2005

Dec 1 @ 8:39 PM ET
It was understood what it was, but the fact that U_G said posted it makes it epic.
- Red-October

oh. i didn't know that you knew about the denis leary part.

sorry.
Feeling Glucky?
Toronto Maple Leafs
Location: Tanktown, ON
Joined: 10.08.2008

Dec 2 @ 1:23 PM ET
I've got a girlfriend, you've got a restraining order. I win.
- Feeling Glucky?


Canucks have the Sedins...the Leafs...have...oh right...2 lottery picks...wait thats not right either
-yancy


I'd say this qualifies as an epic fail of a comeback
Shutdown
Carolina Hurricanes
Location: a fat guy sitting on a toilet with no back and his head resting on his balls pic, NC
Joined: 04.06.2008

Dec 2 @ 1:58 PM ET
This wins the thread.
- Prax

wrong
Shutdown
Carolina Hurricanes
Location: a fat guy sitting on a toilet with no back and his head resting on his balls pic, NC
Joined: 04.06.2008

Dec 2 @ 1:58 PM ET
wrong
- Shutdown

WOULD RECOMMEND YOU START AT THE BOTTOM WITH MY INITIAL EMAIL ASKING FOR GENERAL NEWS.



RE: yo g‏

Sent: September 11, 2009 5:35:27 AM
To:
Dude long time no speak, sorry for the delay to respond to your Thailand questions about the logistics of whore-ing there.
Here are the clarifications to your questions:


Dude, Bangkok is the best place to bang, whores are everywhere, I stayed in Nana district, all the women in that district are whores, even if they work in a clothing shop, she will lay you if you pay here. Basically I go to a bar called beer garden, you sit down and have a drink, there are many whores that love to be laid for money. You look around, and they all look at you with a smile, so you just have a beer, and then when you like one, all you have to do is make a fraction of a second eye contact. Then she will come to you and chat, it’s not a whorehouse, it’s just a pickup place. If she does not come then you go and just say hello. You talk a bit, then you ask her rate, you negotiate. My price is always 35 bucks for 3 hours unlimited banging, if she does not want you go to the next. 85% accept your terms, cause they are whores who want money. So you walk with her to the hotel and you destroy her.
When I’m done, I usually go have another drink and so on…Often, I would just walk in the parking lot of my hotel, it’s whoretown, they are all there whoring around. So you go, talk and pick and chose the whore you want, bring her to the room and bang her whorry butt endless. Very simple. The hotel is ‘guest friendly’ meaning they allow you to bring whores to and disgrace them, I was at the nana hotel, the best place for whore-lovers like me.

Then there are the massage parlors, you pick a whore inside, she then bathes you and washes you with her wussy, blows you and drink your cum, well actually she spits it out discretely, then massages you with oil, and bangs the living hell out of you for 2 hours, 2 cums garanteed or money back (no joke). Those masseuse-whores are pricer, 50 bucks.

Then there’s Eden club. You go in the club, and there’s a yellow line separating the bar. The whores on the left do anal, the ones on the right do not do. Of course I picked the skanky-whore that love being analyzed. Then the girl choses another girl, it could be a girl that does anal or not, you do not control her choice, she can chose an ugly whore, but that’s the process. Actually there are no ugly ones just less cute ones. Anyway, you go to a very clean room and destroy and humiliate both whores to your liking. I was sodomizing one whore while she was eating the other girls wussy. At one point, one whore was blowing me, while I was sitting on the other whore’s face, the whore under me had my fat ass covering her face and she was raping my poop-hole with her mouth, great feeling. They bring toys and uniforms and they do exactly what you asked them to do or money back. They guarantee you 2 shots minimum or money back. That was the best!! Pricy, but worth it, 135$ (actually very cheap for the value you get). When you step out of that place you feel like rocco siffredi, you feel like you own this world, and you can bang any chick in the world.

Finally there’s the blow job bars. I did that on my 5th day cause I got tired of degrading whores (even though I popped many cialis pills to get good return on investment and bang the whores as much as I can. One whore,I banged 3 times in 2 hours, I’m telling you cialis rocks). Anyway BJ bars, is when you want to take it easy, you go to the bar and order a beer, then you chose the girl (usually they are dressed like schoolgirls) she takes you to a sofa and wraps a curtain around the sofa, actually it’s very nice. It’s funny cause when you walk to your sofa, all you see under the curtains are small feet showing of the whores blowing the customers, it’s hilarious. Anyway, the whore pulls down your pants, examines your peter to make sure you have no infection, cleans it with amazing disinfectant (no it does not hurt) and begins to blow you. Dude, the whore gives you the messiest, nosiest, sloppiest, saliva-drenched Richard pumping with her mouth, they guarantee you at least 15 min or money back, meaning she takes her time with her mouth, no rush no hands, just pure exctasy with their whore-mouth, she drives you crazy, I unzipped her top and played with her tits while she was vacuuming my Johnson. It’s a great way to relax, when you’re too tired of ruining whores. The best part is you do that while enjoying a good beer, I heard some whores in that bar let you place your beer bottle on their head while they drain your Richard without dropping the bottle, mine was too young and could not do it, so I just used the couch as support for my beer.

So total invaded and abused whores in 8 days: 11 (I counted 21 orgasms)
It was great. Going back next week with Mike, my goal is to DP a whore with my bro, dunno if Mike would like to do that though, we’ll see. Now understand Murray Head when he says one night in Bangkok, cause that’s all it takes to make you feel like a king!!!

On another subject, for sure the Chinese auditor that came to your company had a bush, didn’t you see the bump under her belly, this is all space filled by the bush, dude, it’s crazy!! But god damn they’re pretty, I,m telling I have never seen so many beauties in my life then in China, you have to see it to believe it, if you walk 5 minutes on the sidewalk, you’ll go dizzy by the amount of beauties in this country!!! But dude, they don’t do eye contact, and don’t smile, and they have huge bushes…

Ok hope all is well with you and the family, WIFE is good? Is little SON popping boners already?

Ok bye bye

Ezbib

P.S. I banged a lady-boy too in Thailand, not a great feeling though, when she started riding my Richard, she took off her underwear and her balls started slapping on my belly!!! I lost it and my boner, and told her to put her gstring back on, but it was too late, I had seen her sausage (which was not small) and it turned me off big time, it was all great until that moment. I mean, drilling her rectum doggy was great, she blows amazing, they kiss amazing, she was actually the prettiest girl I banged all week, it’s a shame she showed me her Richard. Anyway, wanted to try lady-boy, been there done that, but not for me…


________________________________________
From:
To:
Subject: RE: yo g
Date: Tue, 4 Aug 2009 14:32:49 -0400

dude, Murray Head is the guy who sang "One Night in Bangkok"

by the way how do you work out the logistics of all this banging? Where do you even find the time and what's the process over there? is it like here where you go to this semi-strip joint and go in a booth or is it just whorehouses?

I need to know.

________________________________________
From:
To:
Subject: RE: yo g
Date: Tue, 4 Aug 2009 00:45:39 -0400

bangkok is great banged 4 girls already, will leave on monday back to shang.

who the (frank) is murray head??????????????
________________________________________
From:
To:
Subject: RE: yo g
Date: Mon, 3 Aug 2009 09:34:42 -0400

so how was Bangkok? Did you see Murray Head while yo were there?

________________________________________
From:
To:
Subject: RE: yo g
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 2009 23:45:29 -0400

not much besides having a threesome with 2 chinese chicks and (frank)ing one of them in the ass, it was her first time, i destroyed her anus. But damn theh all have bushes the size of the amazon, they don`t know how to trim.
Going to bangkok in 2 weeks, my goal is to destroy 16 whores.

How about you? how SON and WIFE?

word out
E

________________________________________
From:
To:
Subject: yo g
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 2009 14:28:40 -0400

what's new?
- dt99999
jarmstrong
Toronto Maple Leafs
Location: much of what I write would nev
Joined: 09.20.2005

Dec 2 @ 2:48 PM ET
WOULD RECOMMEND YOU START AT THE BOTTOM WITH MY INITIAL EMAIL ASKING FOR GENERAL NEWS.



RE: yo g‏

Sent: September 11, 2009 5:35:27 AM
To:
Dude long time no speak, sorry for the delay to respond to your Thailand questions about the logistics of whore-ing there.
Here are the clarifications to your questions:


Dude, Bangkok is the best place to bang, whores are everywhere, I stayed in Nana district, all the women in that district are whores, even if they work in a clothing shop, she will lay you if you pay here. Basically I go to a bar called beer garden, you sit down and have a drink, there are many whores that love to be laid for money. You look around, and they all look at you with a smile, so you just have a beer, and then when you like one, all you have to do is make a fraction of a second eye contact. Then she will come to you and chat, it’s not a whorehouse, it’s just a pickup place. If she does not come then you go and just say hello. You talk a bit, then you ask her rate, you negotiate. My price is always 35 bucks for 3 hours unlimited banging, if she does not want you go to the next. 85% accept your terms, cause they are whores who want money. So you walk with her to the hotel and you destroy her.
When I’m done, I usually go have another drink and so on…Often, I would just walk in the parking lot of my hotel, it’s whoretown, they are all there whoring around. So you go, talk and pick and chose the whore you want, bring her to the room and bang her whorry butt endless. Very simple. The hotel is ‘guest friendly’ meaning they allow you to bring whores to and disgrace them, I was at the nana hotel, the best place for whore-lovers like me.

Then there are the massage parlors, you pick a whore inside, she then bathes you and washes you with her wussy, blows you and drink your cum, well actually she spits it out discretely, then massages you with oil, and bangs the living hell out of you for 2 hours, 2 cums garanteed or money back (no joke). Those masseuse-whores are pricer, 50 bucks.

Then there’s Eden club. You go in the club, and there’s a yellow line separating the bar. The whores on the left do anal, the ones on the right do not do. Of course I picked the skanky-whore that love being analyzed. Then the girl choses another girl, it could be a girl that does anal or not, you do not control her choice, she can chose an ugly whore, but that’s the process. Actually there are no ugly ones just less cute ones. Anyway, you go to a very clean room and destroy and humiliate both whores to your liking. I was sodomizing one whore while she was eating the other girls wussy. At one point, one whore was blowing me, while I was sitting on the other whore’s face, the whore under me had my fat ass covering her face and she was raping my poop-hole with her mouth, great feeling. They bring toys and uniforms and they do exactly what you asked them to do or money back. They guarantee you 2 shots minimum or money back. That was the best!! Pricy, but worth it, 135$ (actually very cheap for the value you get). When you step out of that place you feel like rocco siffredi, you feel like you own this world, and you can bang any chick in the world.

Finally there’s the blow job bars. I did that on my 5th day cause I got tired of degrading whores (even though I popped many cialis pills to get good return on investment and bang the whores as much as I can. One whore,I banged 3 times in 2 hours, I’m telling you cialis rocks). Anyway BJ bars, is when you want to take it easy, you go to the bar and order a beer, then you chose the girl (usually they are dressed like schoolgirls) she takes you to a sofa and wraps a curtain around the sofa, actually it’s very nice. It’s funny cause when you walk to your sofa, all you see under the curtains are small feet showing of the whores blowing the customers, it’s hilarious. Anyway, the whore pulls down your pants, examines your peter to make sure you have no infection, cleans it with amazing disinfectant (no it does not hurt) and begins to blow you. Dude, the whore gives you the messiest, nosiest, sloppiest, saliva-drenched Richard pumping with her mouth, they guarantee you at least 15 min or money back, meaning she takes her time with her mouth, no rush no hands, just pure exctasy with their whore-mouth, she drives you crazy, I unzipped her top and played with her tits while she was vacuuming my Johnson. It’s a great way to relax, when you’re too tired of ruining whores. The best part is you do that while enjoying a good beer, I heard some whores in that bar let you place your beer bottle on their head while they drain your Richard without dropping the bottle, mine was too young and could not do it, so I just used the couch as support for my beer.

So total invaded and abused whores in 8 days: 11 (I counted 21 orgasms)
It was great. Going back next week with Mike, my goal is to DP a whore with my bro, dunno if Mike would like to do that though, we’ll see. Now understand Murray Head when he says one night in Bangkok, cause that’s all it takes to make you feel like a king!!!

On another subject, for sure the Chinese auditor that came to your company had a bush, didn’t you see the bump under her belly, this is all space filled by the bush, dude, it’s crazy!! But god damn they’re pretty, I,m telling I have never seen so many beauties in my life then in China, you have to see it to believe it, if you walk 5 minutes on the sidewalk, you’ll go dizzy by the amount of beauties in this country!!! But dude, they don’t do eye contact, and don’t smile, and they have huge bushes…

Ok hope all is well with you and the family, WIFE is good? Is little SON popping boners already?

Ok bye bye

Ezbib

P.S. I banged a lady-boy too in Thailand, not a great feeling though, when she started riding my Richard, she took off her underwear and her balls started slapping on my belly!!! I lost it and my boner, and told her to put her gstring back on, but it was too late, I had seen her sausage (which was not small) and it turned me off big time, it was all great until that moment. I mean, drilling her rectum doggy was great, she blows amazing, they kiss amazing, she was actually the prettiest girl I banged all week, it’s a shame she showed me her Richard. Anyway, wanted to try lady-boy, been there done that, but not for me…


________________________________________
From:
To:
Subject: RE: yo g
Date: Tue, 4 Aug 2009 14:32:49 -0400

dude, Murray Head is the guy who sang "One Night in Bangkok"

by the way how do you work out the logistics of all this banging? Where do you even find the time and what's the process over there? is it like here where you go to this semi-strip joint and go in a booth or is it just whorehouses?

I need to know.

________________________________________
From:
To:
Subject: RE: yo g
Date: Tue, 4 Aug 2009 00:45:39 -0400

bangkok is great banged 4 girls already, will leave on monday back to shang.

who the (frank) is murray head??????????????
________________________________________
From:
To:
Subject: RE: yo g
Date: Mon, 3 Aug 2009 09:34:42 -0400

so how was Bangkok? Did you see Murray Head while yo were there?

________________________________________
From:
To:
Subject: RE: yo g
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 2009 23:45:29 -0400

not much besides having a threesome with 2 chinese chicks and (frank)ing one of them in the ass, it was her first time, i destroyed her anus. But damn theh all have bushes the size of the amazon, they don`t know how to trim.
Going to bangkok in 2 weeks, my goal is to destroy 16 whores.

How about you? how SON and WIFE?

word out
E

________________________________________
From:
To:
Subject: yo g
Date: Fri, 24 Jul 2009 14:28:40 -0400

what's new?
- dt99999

- Shutdown


the best part is the complete denial that he had gay buttsex. He is constantly referring to the "lady-boy" he ass-banged as "she" and "her" rather than the cross-dressing gay guy who may or may not have had breasts (Thai women can be flat chested).
Feeling Glucky?
Toronto Maple Leafs
Location: Tanktown, ON
Joined: 10.08.2008

Dec 2 @ 3:13 PM ET
the best part is the complete denial that he had gay buttsex. He is constantly referring to the "lady-boy" he ass-banged as "she" and "her" rather than the cross-dressing gay guy who may or may not have had breasts (Thai women can be flat chested).
- jarmstrong

disturbing fact: Thailand has the highest incidences of naturally occurring shemales
dellio
Calgary Flames
Location: In the night i sit alone wanting you crying out for you wondering who's loving you, AB
Joined: 11.29.2007

Dec 2 @ 3:17 PM ET
the best part is the complete denial that he had gay buttsex. He is constantly referring to the "lady-boy" he ass-banged as "she" and "her" rather than the cross-dressing gay guy who may or may not have had breasts (Thai women can be flat chested).
- jarmstrong

straight up gay
Brother Daniel
Joined: 05.14.2009

Dec 2 @ 3:17 PM ET
I'd say this qualifies as an epic fail of a comeback
- Feeling Glucky?


all that shows is that you fail at burning someone...
dellio
Calgary Flames
Location: In the night i sit alone wanting you crying out for you wondering who's loving you, AB
Joined: 11.29.2007

Dec 2 @ 3:17 PM ET
disturbing fact: Thailand has the highest incidences of naturally occurring shemales
- Feeling Glucky?

yup and Philippines next
Guimania
Ottawa Senators
Location: but now that you bust my chops
Joined: 02.07.2010

Dec 2 @ 3:21 PM ET
disturbing fact: Thailand has the highest incidences of naturally occurring shemales
- Feeling Glucky?

disturbing 'er fact: Glucky keeps track of how many naturally occuring shemales incidents there are in every country
BingoLady
Montreal Canadiens
Location: Ultimate Warrior, NB
Joined: 07.15.2009

Dec 2 @ 3:23 PM ET
disturbing 'er fact: Glucky keeps track of how many naturally occuring shemales incidents there are in every country
- Guimania

Brother Daniel
Joined: 05.14.2009

Dec 2 @ 3:25 PM ET
disturbing 'er fact: Glucky keeps track of how many naturally occuring shemales incidents there are in every country
- Guimania

dellio
Calgary Flames
Location: In the night i sit alone wanting you crying out for you wondering who's loving you, AB
Joined: 11.29.2007

Dec 2 @ 3:29 PM ET

- BingoLady

sup
jarmstrong
Toronto Maple Leafs
Location: much of what I write would nev
Joined: 09.20.2005

Dec 2 @ 3:31 PM ET
disturbing fact: Thailand has the highest incidences of naturally occurring shemales
- Feeling Glucky?


ok fine. but if he was a hermaphrodite, don't you think Ed would have thrown the word vagina in there at least once?

for example: "as I was banging her vag, it surprised me to feel her balls slapping against my balls"

all he talks about is BJs and anal sex. I wonder if he decided to catch a few innings.
Feeling Glucky?
Toronto Maple Leafs
Location: Tanktown, ON
Joined: 10.08.2008

Dec 2 @ 3:38 PM ET
disturbing 'er fact: Glucky keeps track of how many naturally occuring shemales incidents there are in every country
- Guimania

DTF69
Atlanta Thrashers
Location: I lied to get some white people on my side, AB
Joined: 02.03.2010

Dec 2 @ 11:22 PM ET
This is pretty much how it went down.

MLSE: We want somebody experienced, a great hockey mind who can build a winner.

Bowman: Hi guys, I'll do it if you let me do it my way.

MLSE: Sorry Scotty, we can't let you have full autonomy, it's not our style.

Bowman: Okay, thanks, I'll just go over to this place called Chicago and maybe win a Stanley Cup with my son.

MLSE: No problem, we've got this guy lined up named Burke. We'll be just fine.

Leafs fans: Nah, screw Bowman. He's too old and in 1983, when he was the GM of the Sabres, he failed as a GM. He's the best coach ever but he's not President or GM material. We pass.

Burke: So I get full autonomy right?

MLSE: Sure, whatever you want. We'll even hire your buddy Napoleon to be the
coach a year before you show up.

Burke: Thanks. You won't regret it!

Leafs fans: YAY! Somebody who is better than JFJ! He built Anaheim did you know? Yeah! He did EVERYTHING there from the ground up. We can win with Burke.

Burke: Truculence, pugnacity, testosterone and belligerence.

Leafs fans: YAY! NOW WE'RE MEN! MEN, MEN, MEN, MEN, NOW WE'RE MEN!

Leafs: 29th place with no draft picks.

- Unholy_Goalie


Epic.
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