i got a fat woman few offices down eats sardines daily drains the juice in her office garbage can stupid woman
- dellio

Solution:

Light her on fire then feed her sardines to an alley cat in front of her.

Solution:

Light her on fire then feed her sardines to an alley cat in front of her.
- BINGO!

she does quality work but man she wonders why nobody enters her office she has been warned before to go to the kitchen and eat her lunch and to drain that in the sink. but your option sounds adventurous

she does quality work but man she wonders why nobody enters her office she has been warned before to go to the kitchen and eat her lunch and to drain that in the sink. but your option sounds adventurous
- dellio

I like to send a message. Lets the peasants know who's in charge.

I like to send a message. Lets the peasants know who's in charge.
- BINGO!

exactly

she does quality work but man she wonders why nobody enters her office she has been warned before to go to the kitchen and eat her lunch and to drain that in the sink. but your option sounds adventurous
- dellio

What kind of police state corporate policies does your company have?

What kind of police state corporate policies does your company have?
- aschuter82

not a sardines office

What kind of police state corporate policies does your company have?
- aschuter82

you wouldnt believe. one time they told this woman who was a bull dyke right too stop wearing jogging pants to work. told her that it was very unprofessional. and on top of that she stank and reeked of BO and vaginal odours. it was sick. Our HR rules under the Hygiene portion of the policy does state one must show up to work groomed , clean. unhygienic people are sent home , or some are taken to the car wash!

Nicca when your company is in the top 200 on the forbes 500 we take our shiit serious

not a sardines office
- Jayden

u tellem jayden


How are you buddy been so long , hows everyone up there? Delonte still messing with u?

u tellem jayden


How are you buddy been so long , hows everyone up there? Delonte still messing with u?
- dellio

- kicksave856

What kind of police state corporate policies does your company have?
- aschuter82

snippet i was able to get

My Fellow Employees,

It has come to our attention that employees may be taking too much time off from work. As such we have instuted the following policies for all employees to follow.

SICK DAYS:

We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

SURGERY:
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

PERSONAL DAYS:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

VACATION DAYS:
All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: Jan. 1, July 4 & Dec. 25

BEREAVEMENT LEAVE:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done enough.

OUT FROM YOUR OWN DEATH:
This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice, as it is your duty to train your own replacement.

RESTROOM USE:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:20, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees' supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.

LUNCH BREAK:
Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy, normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain the average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.

DRESS CODE:
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary, if we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers and carrying a $600 Gucci bag we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations or input should be directed elsewhere. Have a nice week.

Signed
The Management

heavy moderation

heavy moderation
- kicksave856

indeed they run a tight ship!

indeed they run a tight ship!
- dellio

some of them. others are okay. and some are just pigs.

whatcha doin anyway, dellio? sucks waiting for the games to start.

some of them. others are okay. and some are just pigs.

whatcha doin anyway, dellio? sucks waiting for the games to start.
- kicksave856

i got other things to do before the games start. is it just me or this fukin site has gone to the shiits. nobody around anymore. echoes thoughtout,,,,, hello helloooo hellooooo

i got other things to do before the games start. is it just me or this fukin site has gone to the shiits. nobody around anymore. echoes thoughtout,,,,, hello helloooo hellooooo
- dellio

poops indeed. i did notice nobody had said anything in the misc area for a while when i signed on.

NHL Center Ice and MLB Extra Innings and how for some stupid reason they become one and the same thing in April.

NHL Center Ice and MLB Extra Innings and how for some stupid reason they become one and the same thing in April.


- nfph

i noticed that. i mean, i understand it tonight because there's no hockey anyway, but for the last few weeks they were sharing the same channel numbers. i didn't like it.

i noticed that. i mean, i understand it tonight because there's no hockey anyway, but for the last few weeks they were sharing the same channel numbers. i didn't like it.
- kicksave856

There is hockey... they carry the first round of the playoffs for when, say, VS decides to carry MTL/BOS on the national telecast.

Now I can't figure out what channel the f'ing game is on because it's 1/2 baseball and the game starts at 4pm.

That and they have two HD channels at best. What an f'ing joke that service is. Next year I'm just going with the online version.

NHL Center Ice and MLB Extra Innings and how for some stupid reason they become one and the same thing in April.


- nfph

k

k
- dellio

Hey I listen to your bellowing all the time gimme this one.

Hey I listen to your bellowing all the time gimme this one.
- nfph

hey sorry i just was to lazy to reply just said"k" i was just acknowledging your frustration even though i am not experiencing it

hey sorry i just was to lazy to reply just said"k" i was just acknowledging your frustration even though i am not experiencing it
- dellio

I apologize, I lash out sometimes when I'm frustrated.

I apologize, I lash out sometimes when I'm frustrated.


- nfph

It's typical of you zebras!

It's typical of you zebras!
- dellio

this zebra is okay. and i bet he's a normal weight for his height.