IN the NHL, not only can you miss the Playoffs because the one team ahead of you lost 14 games in overtime and is somehow rewarded for that, but your reward for being competitive and almost making the playoffs is a kick directly to the groin.
IN the NHL, the worst possible outcome is to miss the playoffs, but finish high enough do get a low draft pick.
Welcome to the Coyotes world.
Last night in the draft, the New Jersey Devils were given their second recent #1 overall pick, and the Blackhawks - you know the team that was built into a powerhouse by an incredible streak of draft luck a decade ago - get another top pick.
It's garbagio.
Taylor Hall's record of teams winning the draft lottery is impressive......until you think about it and realize it's like holding the record for most pees in the pants.
The Coyotes team stats are very similar to a team that would draft high, but unfortunately, Darcy Kuemper had one of the greatest seasons in NHL history.
Literally.
Kuemper kept a really, extremely bad team afloat for far longer than should have been humanly possible. The Coyotes - I love them - but when your biggest offseason acquisition spends the majority of his time being centred by Nick "Well coach, I'm not saying I don't want to play on the first line, I just think this might put your Jack Adams trophy in doubt" Cousins, your team has problems.
Not only did Kuemper turn a guy whose lineup and ice time selections might as well be made by the Lemur TSN uses to pick playoff winners into a league-wide reputation-based sensation, but he also ruined the team's chances of a solid rebuild.
A top pick this year would be absolutely transformative.
And before I sign off, I know that irony is not usually understood, so I just want to point out that the title of this blog and my trashing of Kuemper is a device I am using to illustrate how stupid it is that the NHL rewards the truly bad, and the intentionally bad, and the Blackhawks, but completely screws over teams that almost succeed but don't.
Pretty hilarious if you think about it - the Coyotes get screwed one day by the NHL's incomprehensible standings set-up, and the next day by their idiotic lottery.
The solution is obvious - tanking has it's own built in pros and cons, so if a team wants to tank, let them. The worst team should automatically get the first overall pick, and picks two and three should go to the two teams who came the closest to the playoffs.
Everyone else should be forced to watch a WHMIS video hosted by Pierre McGuire.
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