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The Reverse Psychology Blog

August 14, 2013, 4:58 PM ET [141 Comments]
Richard Cloutier
Edmonton Oilers Blogger • RSSArchiveCONTACT
Whatever you do, don't follow me on Twitter: @rdcloutier

Today, I would like to talk to all of you about the least interesting team in the NHL, the Edmonton Oilers.

Some people would say the Oilers didn't have a very productive summer, but they are wrong. There was some bad news, most notably, the trade of Shawn Horcoff, and there was good news, like the Oilers keeping Ales Hemsky and Linus Omark instead of dealing them. Both players will make a huge contribution to the team for many years to come.

We were all sad to see Magnus Paajarvi be dealt, because he is a brilliant scorer who drives the net with authority on each and every play. Some of us were even sadder that his replacement will be David Perron. St. Louis-area media were shocked and horrified with the deal, because apparently, Perron has a tremendous attitude. If he scores goals and plays with toughness, he'll fit right in.

One thing Oilers GM Craig MacTavish did that will certainly help the team is all of his moves to bring in third line players. The Oilers Bottom 6 forwards are going to be much better than last season. As far as the defense goes, the Oilers definitely did not make a mistake giving 34 year-old Andrew Ference a four-year, $3mil+ per season contract with a no movement clause. Some would argue that they should have given the money to center Sam Gagner, who was clearly underpaid in his new contract. The Oilers will certainly be a better team defensively because instead of having four 4/5/6/7 guys, now we have 11. It's not about quality, it's about quantity.

Oilers fans are thrilled with the roster going into this season. The Oilers potential of making the playoffs, or perhaps even winning the division, is high. In a year from now, we'll all be praising management for the bold moves made this summer to completely correct roster issues, especially improving defensive play and increasing team toughness. Ben Eager and Mike Brown, who will be playing in all 82 games this season, will be all the toughness we need.

Changing topics not at all, I'd like to take a second to thank the readers of my blog who post comments. You do a fine job of ensuring the attacks aren't personal. Mods on the site also do a fine job of ensuring the comments section in my blogs stick to conversations about hockey teams, and don't deviate to comments about my weight, whether or not my death would be a good thing, if it's time for me to pick a different hobby, or boobs. Thanks again.

Speaking about the bigger picture in the NHL, I'd like to say hi to the people buying teams in New Jersey, Dallas and Phoenix. These new ownership groups are clearly dedicated to those communities and their fan bases, and will not in a million years relocate their team to potentially lucrative and hockey-made locations like Quebec City, Markham, and Seattle. Like the team in Minnesota demonstrated last season, no matter how much a team spends, hockey can make money as long as the fan base is solid, dedicated and loyal.

And wow, this year's new uniforms...That Dallas jersey blew my mind, but it's absolutely nothing compared to the radical changes made to the Carolina jersey. They are so good, in fact, that you might think while watching that you are at the Montreal Forum instead of being in Raleigh, which is a city that makes Paris seem like Edmonton.

Moving on, I'm thrilled that Hockey Night in Canada is continuing for another season, because it would be awful if TSN were to take over full coverage of the NHL. Guys like Bob McKenzie have absolutely no idea what he's talking about, and he's a total fraud. There are no true hockey insiders. The world needs more hockey commentators like Kelly Hrudey, and PJ Stock. Especially PJ Stock, who is brilliant enough to be performing Hamlet at the local theatre in between games. If I had children that I knew about, I would always let Stock babysit, because absolutely no harm could ever come to them, like having a child accidentally cooked in the oven, or to fall out of the car while joyriding on the 401 at 100mph, or radiation poisoning from a nuclear incident.

I wish summer was longer, because I'm definitely not going crazy while waiting for the new NHL season to begin. When it does start one thing I'm not looking forward to is the Olympics, because Team Canada is going to lose. Taylor Hall and Jordan Eberle definitely should stay home instead of playing. Hall especially, because he's absolutely not in the same class as John Tavares.

There is nothing to look forward to this upcoming season. For example, when John Tortorella finally snaps and the entire Canucks team collapses around him...That sounds dull and pointless to watch. I also won't be interested to watch Nathan MacKinnon's rookie season, how LA bounces back, or if the Hawks continue to dominate game-after-game. I don't care about Alfredsson in Detroit, nor do I care about Drouin playing on a line with Stamkos and St. Louis. Total rubbish. No one ever wants to see a line like Drouin, Stamkos and St. Louis play.

At the end of the season, I expect the Edmonton Oilers to win all of the major awards and spots on the all-star team, because there absolutely, positively is no eastern bias in the NHL or with the media, who might be eastern-based, but clearly function without homerism. As a hockey fan who is never called-out repeatedly by blog trolls who having nothing better to do than level insults and play Tetrus in their underwear, I can say honestly that the sports media in this country is the best in the world because of their constant professionalism and dedication to telling the story instead of pandering in the hopes to gain the affection of team management and the league itself. It's good to live in a time when people are no longer bought and sold for the sake of self promotion.

This is the best blog you ever read. You love me and you plan on showering me with positive, motivational comments designed to encourage me to continue writing. You plan on sending me all your money, and doing anything I say.
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