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Some Will Like It Hot

June 9, 2020, 9:08 AM ET [2 Comments]
Jay Greenberg
Blogger •NHL Hall of Fame writer • RSSArchiveCONTACT
Apparently, they are going to play. Going to find a couple of bubbles even bigger than the one that burst around the Hurricanes when they got to the conference final last spring, swab more cheeks than a Claude Lemieux face wash, make those locker rooms more antiseptic than a Lou Lamoriello answer to a reporter’s question and drop the puck.

Yep, looks like it’s all worked out. Every team that on March 12 still had at least as good a chance as Chris Pronger getting a key to the city of Edmonton is going to be in the playoffs, only the Seals ordered to stay home. Twenty-four clubs, four rounds as usual, but no fans and Garth Snow saying who can go in the press box and not. Support personnel will wear more masks than even Gary (Suitcase) Smith. It’s promised to be even safer than a two-goal third period lead with Lapointe, Robinson and Savard protecting it.

Unfortunately, all the noise will have to come from Twitter. And it seems unavoidable that the 2020-21 season will become more backed up than even a Roger Neilson one-man forecheck in the third period of a 0-0 game, But it is what it is, or, in the words of Billy Smith when one would go in on off Gord Lane, “what are you gonna do?”

August hockey is going to be weirder than Ilya Bryzgalov talking about his place in the universe, more disorienting than seeing a Jonathan Toews team in last place. But if John Vanbiesbrouck could wind up a Flyer, Devil and an Islander before being done, goes to show you can get used to anything, just have to rearrange your thinking a little that’s all.

Remember, there never has been anything inviolate about October-to-June hockey. Stuff happens, perhaps not as often as to Steven Stamkos, but nevertheless it does. The NHL has missed a whole season and parts of two others with labor stoppages. This is the second pandemic to mess with the schedule. And if it had been up to Lynn Powis, the Philadelphia flu would have been cause for a shutdown, too.

Even after the playoffs expanded to their present four rounds there used to be a May 31 glass ceiling on finishing the season. They jammed more games into fewer days than even Bill LaForge lasted with the Canucks, turning the postseason into a greater war of attrition than for anyone who ever shared a front office with Rick Dudley. It’s considered normal now to play until mid-June. Has itanybody loses interest, except year after year the Wild?

Think about what this is going to do for the competition. Every year a couple of underdogs ride a hot goalie through the first round and this time all the goalies are going to be hot. So what if August gets sweatier than Mike Sillinger would at a trade deadline. When Glen Cochrane fought, he stripped practically down to Speedos and, as it turns out, he was a man ahead of his time. You going to tell me that after all these years, any club with Mike Kitchen behind a bench won’t be able to stand the heat? All those injured good players who were going to miss the playoffs can now come back, Al Iafrate among them.

Sure, it's going to get hotter than even the late Professor Caron’s collar when Dave Manson was messing with the Blues, but so what? All you Devils fans who have been sweating bullets when it’s Corey Schneider’s turn in goal aren’t going to get rattled by a little humidity. It’s 2020, there are water bottles on the net and besides Marco Baron lasted five years despite severe back of-the-neck sunburn from the red light going on. For goodness sake, one of the best defensemen in the league is named Brent Burns. Zdeno Chara is big enough to block out the sun. So pass the lotion and let’s go.

Can’t deny it’s going to be disorienting. Scotty Bowman once said about Fred Shero: “Sometimes I don’t think he knows Tuesday from Wednesday and other times I think he is a genius who has us all fooled.” Shero won two Cups and is in the Hall of Fame, so just goes to show you that knowing the month might even turn out be more overrated than was Alexander Svitov the year he got picked third overall.

Since the next season will have to start 40 seconds after this one, the players will have to stay in quarantine until their newborns finish high school, but they’ll see them eventually, so let’s not hear any whining.

We’ve all been in the box longer than Tie Domi, are more stir-crazed than was Ron Hextall to get at Robbie Brown. Even Michal Neuvirth would want to play by now. Hockey never was a day at the beach for Jim Sandlak, but he still lasted 11 seasons. If the Jets get on a roll, we’ll just call it the summer of Hellebuyck.
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