Follow @james_tanner123 Last night at 11:30 I grabbed my nun-chucks and headed over to the local Walmart in search of deals. Boy did I find some good ones!
First thing I did when I entered the door was use this old lady as a human shield to make my way to electronics, but when I got there all the TVs were gone.
Damn. I could have spent $900 I don't have to save $900 on a TV that doesn't even fit in my house to replace a TV that isn't broken. Imagine how pissed I was? How am I going to be able to see people's pock-marked skin and nose-hair now? I was really hoping to upgrade to frighteningly real HD, but lucky for me I saw something even better: Ron MacLean, who was there to report on the late night Walmart employee hockey game, as Rogers just doesn't for some reason respect the best broadcaster in NHL history - which, how can you blame them when the kids want Strombo, because who doesn't look for a 40 year old hipster in their hockey broadcasts?
Anyways, Ron turned me on to some deals. First, he pointed out a new futon that I could put in my Mom's basement to sleep/blog from and a discounted fax machine I could use to send them in to Eklund.
I thanked Ron for the hot tip, and he left me with some of his signature word play.
I warned him to stop it and threatened to hit him with an actual book of puns, which was also on sale. He referenced yesterday's post and said "Will the Coyotes pun-t the season, or will Tanner get bookish?"
It was a weak pun, even for him, but he was visibly shaken by my ironic threats. But then Don showed up, told Ron I was from Ontario, suggested the Leafs should draft me and we all made up. I love those guys.
They said they were going to watch Martin Brodeur try out for the Walmart team and we parted ways.
After that, I had missed out on most of the deals, but I headed over to the movie section and boy did my nun-chucks come in handy.................. - (this portion of the story has been redacted by the CIA and can be obtained by filing Freedom of Information request with your local bureaucrat).
.................... a sweet deal on Homeland Season two.
Then, after I got an encouraging message on my pager from Randy Carlyle urging me to "up my compete level," I trampled a couple of AHL level shoppers and made my way to sportswear where I got my hands on a discounted Kyle Turris Coyotes jersey for eleven cents, and ironically enough, I was able to buy the actual David Rundblad for just ten dollars. - He's hanging out with me right now.
All in all, I got some sweet deals.