Follow @james_tanner123 Sometimes the NHL does your job for you by just being so damn funny .
Due to the fact that I don't really like intros - I find them long and unnecessary for the most part, sometimes even pretentious - and because there really is no need to have an intro here, I am gonna jump right into it, intro free. Mostly because I can, but also because I want to and I don't want to offend anyone with a ridiculous preamble. Anyways, here is a list of recent bizarre happenings:
San Jose Sharks :
Their owner wrote a letter in support of Doug Wilson? Doug stripped first Hall of Famer Joe Thornton of his captaincy in one of the most blatantly disrespectful acts to ever occur to Joe Thornton (I assume) and then failed to add enough to one of the NHL's most talented teams.
That he built.
Look, Doug Wilson has been the GM of the Sharks since 2003 and he's done a fantastic job - really, it's only some bad luck that prevented the Sharks from doing more.
I don't really care one way or the other whether they keep Wilson, I think you can make an argument both ways, but with news coming that he is interviewing Randy Carlyle, someone should step in before this maniac hurts himself.
Randy Carlyle?
He is possibly the worst coach in the NHL. His teams don't possess the puck or play defense - and there are stats that back this up like 6 or 8 seasons, so they can't really be ignored by anyone with a brain.
Similarly, anyone with a brain can see that his Cup was gifted to him and that what success he did have with the Leafs was propped up by insane luck. I mean, you have to be pretty good at ignoring facts to spin it so that RC did a better job than Peter Horachek.
Somewhere Barry Melrose is reading this news and going why not me?
Meanwhile:
Old Randy Carlyle actually has a fan club of people who think data is scary and like to invent opinions out of thin air and argue them with strangers. I'd post some of these classic tweets, but you know where to find 'em.
But it is cute, you gotta give them that.
Elsewhere:
The Oilers are hiring Peter Chiarelli.
This in itself is not hilarious. But as of this writing it is unclear whether or not they also fire Kevin Lowe and his gang of ex-Oilers.
If they do not make Chiarelli the GM, then this can go down as equally as hilarious as interviewing Randy Carlyle. If they fire everyone and let P.C do his own thing with full autonomy, then good for them and we can skip this item as it relates to the NHL and comedy.
Gary Bettman:
He says Katy Perry chants directed at Corey Perry are not sexist.
I know Gary is a greasy fat-cat lawyer, but that's a rich spin even for him. Now, do I think the politically correct thought police need to extend their reach to mob-like crowd chants? I do not. I think we're living in way way way too sensitive of a time.
But still, they are pretty clearly sexist. The idea being that Corey plays "like a girl." I mean, if this isn't the case then please explain to me why their have never been any Steve Perry chants directed at Corey Perry?
Although, maybe Gary believes the chants are in reference to how good Corey looks in an Elmo shirt and are in fact a compliment? Who knows.
Where else? I don't even need to say anything. Enjoy.
Get to know the Predators, a team with a fan base unlike any other.
http://t.co/7pqbkb5Yr9 pic.twitter.com/NrYiglABLE
— SB Nation (@SBNation) April 18, 2015There was also a really fat topless guy, but I couldn't find the picture again.
Combining Names
OK, I admit this isn't exactly hilarious unless you consider it funny how annoying people can be, but what is with putting peoples names together as one mega-name? How can you be an adult and not see how annoying that is?
McEichel? Makes me want to puke. And now, Stromafin? It makes me want to give up on humanity.
Breaking:
Someone answered my Tweet and sent this in, just in time.
@James_Tanner123 idk if this is the one but it's the one I saw pic.twitter.com/HSUMGY0bXm
— Elise Carrington (@ecarring) April 24, 2015Good God that is awesome. I guess technically, he isn't that fat though. Oh well. Still great.
French Refs:
Yes that's right, people are complaining that a French Canadian referee might be biased in the Canadiens game tonight. In other news, the NHL definitely rigged the draft lottery, vaccines could potentially bring on the Zombie Apocalypse and Ted Cruz might be President.
Dustin Byfuglien:
You can't spell "Broken Dreams" without "Bro."
Dave Cameron:
This guy's Press Conferences are better than a post game Seahawks one. He kills it. Everytime.
And, Finally:
It's not hockey related, but you're welcome.