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I always get a big kick out of it when people post photos to my social media of old pictures I'd never seen before or at least ones that I hadn't seen in years. This accidental collision photo of Lyle Odelein and me brought back some memories.
.@TimMcGuinness @PaulStewart22 We'd have to dig deep for the playing days, but here's a good one. pic.twitter.com/rnlFZxqjPw
— pressconnects (@pressconnects) October 30, 2017
Over the years, Lyle and I had some go-rounds on the ice as player and ref but we also developed a good rapport. I liked him and his sense of humor. He and I had a sort of Smothers Brothers routine going, where he'd channel Tom's famous "Mom always liked you best!" routine.
Early in my officiating career while working my way up to the NHL, I refereed Western Hockey League games involving Lyle's brother, Selmar Odelein, who briefly played in the NHL with the Edmonton Oilers. Both Odelein brothers were good guys off the ice, but I pretended that I only liked Selmar.
It grew into a running joke -- almost a ritual -- between Lyle and me. After greeting some of his teammates and opponents, the first thing I'd say to Lyle was "How's your brother doing?"
Lyle might reply with something like, "What about me, Stew? I scored my first goal of the season the other night."
"Yeah, yeah," I'd respond. "So how's Selmar doing?"
Another time, I told him the NHL was only big enough for one Odelein and they'd picked the wrong one. He'd chirp right back at me with a good-natured barb of his own. It was fun.
Once the opening faceoff dropped, it'd be all business again. I got into it pretty good with Odie, Matthew Barnaby, Theo Fleury and others of similar style. At the end of the day, all the friction and conflict would be put aside even if I didn't like certain things they'd done or said and vice versa.
They were hockey guys and so was I, so there was a mutual understanding that never had to be vocalized. They were also, at heart, good guys off the ice. On the ice, though, is where we all truly came alive.
There is something of a lost art form to NHL officials establishing a rapport with players. It's so much harder in today's game and society to do that. There are some officials who still manage to do it -- Wes McCauley is a good example of a ref who naturally brings his personality out on the ice and is still a damn good official in general -- and that is to their credit.
First of all, there are so many more teams and players. You see each other much less frequently. Secondly, the pressure level is increased with the 24/7 coverage and social media that folks tends to more on guard and less relaxed. It is very easy to run afoul of what's PC, and there's much more likely to be backlash for things said either in jest or in anger. Lastly, there's a generational gap with many of today's players -- and younger officials, too. Many don't take too well to any sort of needling or even to old-fashioned verbal conversation. Perhaps if we could hold up hand-held signs with emojis before the game, the art of creating rapport would return.
Then again, my old NHL boss, Bryan Lewis, detested the fact that I deigned to converse with players. Regardless of the fact that I was all business once the puck dropped, he held it against me that I wasn't the aloof type with players, coaches, fans or the media. As I've gotten older, I've realized that he was the one with the problem, and interacting with others in a way that's true to my personality was not a weakness as an official.
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Paul Stewart holds the distinction of being the first U.S.-born citizen to make it to the NHL as both a player and referee. On March 15, 2003, he became the first American-born referee to officiate in 1,000 NHL games.