"PLUS/MINUS is the NHL's best stat, and the only one I use" - Craig Button*
PLUS: I think considering the president lies constantly about how crappy the world is, it's worth pointing out factually that crime and pollution peaked in the 1970s. We live in one of the most peaceful, safest, times in human history.
Whether we are talking technology, access to medicine, or equality, things are as good as they have ever been. Even though people try to scare you into thinking we live in a terrifying world resembling the classic Kurt Russel film Escape from L.A, it simply isn't true.
If you could be alive at any time in history, this is objectively the best time. And I'm not just saying that because the Leafs have Auston Matthews, William Nylander and Mitch Marner.
PLUS:
No words. pic.twitter.com/eTFyV7p3Hq
— Bryce (@HowYouDrouin) February 12, 2017
PLUS: Coyotes 4 Pittsburgh 3. (OT)
This shows that miracles really can happen. Connor Murphy scored his first goal of the season (six year contract? MINUS) and the NHL's second best team lost to the worst one. (Sorry Colorado).
That loser, Sidney Crosby, again FAILED to score his 1000th career point. So Sad. In other news, the Coyotes elected to healthy scratch Jakob Chychrun while Anthony DeAngelo continues to play in the AHL.
Dave Tippet, genius coach of clutch and grab hockey, played Luke Schenn more last night at 5v5 than he played OEL. Though, to be fair OEL played 7 extra minutes on special teams. However, an NHL coach should understand the importance of 5v5 ice time. One would think. Also, rookies Lawson Cruise, Christian Dvorak and Branden Perlini played for less than ten minutes.
Not sure that is the way to deploy a young team, but then again, I don't have any pants on.
PLUS: Mike Smith. Once again, he gets the Coyotes a win they didn't really deserve. He is having an insane season. I am the only one noticing.
PLUS: Saturday Night Live, was hilarious last night. Also, John Oliver is back tonight.
MINUS: Every time I get drunk and everyone else goes to bed, I try to watch Air Force One but I always fall asleep before anyone gets on the damn plane.
PLUS: I became the proudest a father can be when I introduced my kids to Lord of the Rings and one of them (my new favorite) liked it. The other two can piss off, but me and the cool one are gonna visit the Two Towers next.
To my other kids: You best like Back to the Future or we're done!!
PLUS: I wasn't previously aware that Kelly-Anne Conway was in LOTR. She kills it as hideous orc #6.
PLUS: The play of Evander Kane. Kane seems to be in the news when he sleeps in or parties with Drake from Degrassi, but he is an elite scorer since whenever he stopped being injured. I think he's on a 45 goal pace or something like that. Either way, he's helping me stay alive in a hockey pool where one of my goalies is Connor Hellybuck.
What's interesting is that they've scored five or six goals in way more than half their games since New Years, but they don't quite lead the league in goals-for. The Penguins have one more goal in two less games and the Rangers are right there too. Given how much the Capitals have scored recently, that's insane.
Also insane: they have almost 90 more goals scored than the Avalanche. Which, in and of itself isn't too crazy, but consider the Avs have Duchene, Landeskog, Barrie and MacKinnon.
PLUS: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. This show is an artistic achievement on par with the Sistine Chapel, Gravity's Rainbow and the Godfather 2.
The recent episode where Mac finally comes out of the closet is the single funniest half hour of TV I've ever seen. Not to oversell it or anything. But come on, we're supposed to pretend we live in a dystopian hellscape when this is available for free?
PLUS: Nick Backstrom is now only one point behind Connor McDavid for the lead-league in points. Literally no one saw that coming. Not even Backstrom's mom, who actually attends games in a Kuznetsov jersey.
PLUS: Firing Claude Julien. Just kidding, that is so, so dumb. Also, I was kidding about Backstrom's mom, she actually wears a Lars Eller jersey most nights.
*not a real quote
The end