The Arizona Coyotes star defenseman had a brush with horror this summer as a creature long thought mythical rose with the moon and struck the unsuspecting defenseman where it hurts - the hand.
In a thinly veiled attempt to perpetuate the myth that werewolves are not real, other news outlets are reporting that OEL was mauled by the family dog - a story Ekman-Larsson himself is buying into.
But we know the truth.
Just wanted to let everyone know that I'm fine. This happened earlier in the summer, and sadly we had to put our dog down. I got four stitches that are healing up nicely. Thanks @sportexpressen for giving me something to do today. https://t.co/JQY5HxJGb0
— Oliver Ekman-Larsson (@OEL23) July 31, 2019
Earlier this summer, Ekman-Larsson was at home in Sweden enjoying his many krona when suddenly a full moon descended upon the sleepy village where I assume he makes his home
With the moon came a rabid beast, who grabbed Larsson by the hand and attempted to eat him. Luckily Kevin Ekman-Larsson always packs heat, and he was able to chase the beast away.
Ekman-Larsson claims to have lost zero fingers in the attack, but we will likely never know the truth, what with the incredible advancements in finger forgery.
Fake-fings, I think the kids are calling them.
They claim it was just the family dog, but I don't buy it. Everyone knows that werewolf attacks are routinely blamed on the family pet due to wereshaming, which is a real problem.
OEL is said to be fine and ready to go when camp begins next month.
When reached for comment, Mr. Ekman-Larsson asked me to stop bothering him.