Flakes! flakes!
Flakes! flakes!
They don't do no good
They never be workin'
When they oughta should
They waste your time
They're wastin' mine
California's got the most of them
Boy, they got a host of them
Swear t'god they got the most
At every business on the coast
Swear t'god they got the most
At every business on the coast
They got the flakes
Flakes! flakes!
They can't fix yer brakes
You ask 'em, "where's my motor? "
"well, it was eaten by snakes..."
You can stab 'n' shoot 'n' spit
But they won't be fixin' it
They're lyin' an' lazy
They can be drivin' you crazy
Swear t'god they got the most
At every business on the coast
Swear t'god they got the most
At every business on the coast
Take it away, bob...
I asked as nice as I could
If my job would
Somehow be finished by friday
Well, them whole damn weekend
Came 'n' went, frankie
Wanna buy some mandies, bob?
'n' they didn't do nothin'
But they charged me double for Sunday
You know, no matter what you do,
They gonna cheat 'n' rob you
Then they'll send you a bill
That'll get your senses reelin'
And if you do not pay
They got computer collectors
That'll get you so crazy
'til your head'll go through th' ceilin'
Yes it will!
I'm a moron, 'n' this is my wife
She's frosting a cake
With a paper knife
All what we got here's
American made
It's a little bit cheesey
But it's nicely displayed
Well we don't get excited when it
Crumbles 'n' breaks
We just get on the phone
And call up some flakes
They rush on over
'n' wreck it some more
'n' we are so dumb
They're linin' up at our door
Well, the toilet went crazy
Yersterday afternoon
The plumber he says
Never flush a tampoon!
This great information
Cost me half a week's pay
And the toilet blew up
Later on the next day-ay-eee-ay
Blew up the next day
Woo-ooo
We are millions 'n' millions,
We're coming to get you
We're protected by unions
So don't let it upset you
Can't escape the conclusion
It's probably god's will
That civilization
Will grind to a standstill
And we are the people
Who will make it all happen
While yer children is sleepin',
Yer puppy is crappin'
You might call us flakes
Or something else you might coin us
But we know you're so greedy
That you'll probably join us
We're coming to get you, we're coming to get you
We're coming to get you, we're coming to get you
We're coming to get you, we're coming to get you
We're coming to get you, we're coming to get you...
Those are the lyrics for Fresh Flakes by Frank Zappa.
If you want to listen to the song I suggest you watch the video above to get some context to the music and the lyrics. This is the studio recording too, it’s exactly as Frank wanted you to hear it.
I had a lot of thoughts I put out on
Twitter last night and a few this morning and whilst driving it hit me. The Jets are flakes and you dear fan, are getting played.
Before we explain the song let’s back up a bit. Last night fans were reeling after a 6-2 loss to the Oilers. Trouba in his post-game interview called the gong-show, as did Noel and Stuart and Ladd. Wheeler, chief flake, was true to his normal cliché sound bytes and that’s where we come back to now.
Forget about worrying on game specifics, they don’t matter anymore, everything that is a problem with the Jets reared it’s ugly head in that third period. All the dirty laundry was there in full display at Rexall Place and it was extremely soiled.
So the song.
Why this one, why does it matter? I think you all know my penchant for music and how I come back to it as a reference point. This song is about how you, John Q. Public, the hard-working fan gets played over and over again by people who have no care for you. You’re powerless and there’s no pointing fighting. That’s what Frank had to say back in 1980 when he released this song and after last night in Edmonton it suits what the Jets are to more than a casual reference.
They don't do no good
They never be workin'
When they oughta should
They waste your time
They're wastin' mine
California's got the most of them
Boy, they got a host of them
That first verse really hits the nail on the head. Calls out the ‘effort narrative’ quite nicely and how fans feel about watching them play. “They waste your time, they’re wastin’ mine”. Change California to Atlanta and you get a nice little story about geographic history.
They can't fix yer brakes
You ask 'em, "where's my motor? "
"well, it was eaten by snakes..."
You can stab 'n' shoot 'n' spit
But they won't be fixin' it
They're lyin' an' lazy
They can be drivin' you crazy
It’s almost like listening to Blake Wheeler during a post game interview. All the talk about fixing, changing, improving is just that, fluff, perhaps lies, and it certainly drives the fans crazy.
I asked as nice as I could
If my job would
Somehow be finished by friday
Well, them whole damn weekend
Came 'n' went, frankie
Wanna buy some mandies, bob?
'n' they didn't do nothin'
But they charged me double for Sunday
You know, no matter what you do,
They gonna cheat 'n' rob you
Then they'll send you a bill
That'll get your senses reelin'
And if you do not pay
They got computer collectors
That'll get you so crazy
'til your head'll go through th' ceilin'
Yes it will!
These two verses are to be read or heard as if Bob Dylan was singing/speaking. For our purposes he represents the adoring, romanticizing fan. The guy who is in utter shock at times when he sees what he gets, he’s one of many callers who the great and patient
Rick Ralph deals with on the 1290 post game show. Frustration- check. Confusion-check. Bewilderment- check.
I'm a moron, 'n' this is my wife
She's frosting a cake
With a paper knife
All what we got here's
American made
It's a little bit cheesey
But it's nicely displayed
Well we don't get excited when it
Crumbles 'n' breaks
We just get on the phone
And call up some flakes
They rush on over
'n' wreck it some more
'n' we are so dumb
Here’s your take on Chevy. While ‘moron’ is too harsh a term look at the picture this verse paints- a static, everything is ‘okay’, please don’t panic picture. When things aren’t going well how is it fixed, just get on the phone and check the waiver wire who come in and make the mess bigger. Cough James Wright Cough.
Well, the toilet went crazy
Yersterday afternoon
The plumber he says
Never flush a tampoon!
This great information
Cost me half a week's pay
And the toilet blew up
Later on the next day-ay-eee-ay
Blew up the next day
Woo-ooo
This verse is rather funny because it represents the idea what of happens when you stay the course with something that clearly does not work. Things never change, they same problems repeat over and over again and all it does is cost more and more money.
We are millions 'n' millions,
We're coming to get you
We're protected by unions
So don't let it upset you
Can't escape the conclusion
It's probably god's will
That civilization
Will grind to a standstill
And we are the people
Who will make it all happen
While yer children is sleepin',
Yer puppy is crappin'
You might call us flakes
Or something else you might coin us
But we know you're so greedy
That you'll probably join us
And to wrap it all up is the final verse showing how hard it is to make change and how the underachievers are protected. You can’t fire them; terminate them because of the union and CBA. As Frank writes, there’s always one more waiting to get in on the gig. And because that gig is so good, so enticing you want to be part of it so you tolerate it. Your greed as fans, for success, for wins, for championships means you will let it all happen- flakes they are and you are the cereal box.
What a thing to have to write on Christmas Eve. Not fun but the truth hurts and if the Jets, players and management alike, cannot accept what this team is then bah humbug. I was going to write a piece on what I thought the Jets should get for Christmas but I think I’ll change that after I see the first game after the break.
Instead of what I want for them to get we’ll compare to what I think they got. Sometimes getting away from hockey, the closeness of the game, and finding a different perspective is important and helpful. That’s what the press box is for but apparently unless your name is Ellerby, Burmistrov, Peluso or Tangradi you’re not in need of perspective. Perhaps the Noel should watch a game up there and get some? He clearly needs a new view and take on this team.
So finally, thanks. Thanks for reading, having fun with my creative energy and discussing the game of hockey and this team. For some Christmas is a tough time of year, a hard time to be alone or see the joy if you have none. Think for a moment of those who have very little, those that don’t have what you have and remember- there is a spirit to Christmas far more important than gifts.
May you all have a wonderful, healthy, and safe Christmas.
Pete
Winnipeg Jets Blogger •Winnipeg Jets Writer • 
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