Follow Paul on Twitter: @paulstewart22

My very best thoughts and wishes go out to Ottawa Senators executive vice president and general manager Bryan Murray and his family. Bryan will begin his chemotherapy cycles on July 22nd as he wages a battle against cancer.

He has a tough fight ahead of him, but he's a tough man. Bryan will prevail.

Having had my own battle with cancer -- six months on chemo -- I can relate to Bryan's situation. The chemo beats you up. Other people try to be supportive and want you to know they're in your corner as you wage the fight but the fatigue of the treatments and greeting too many well-wishers makes for long days. There are many days where you can barely manage the energy to speak.

It is for this reason that when I communicate with fellow cancer patients, I generally prefer to do so by text or email unless they let me they prefer to speak to me directly. I do have some hard-learned lessons about the cancer fight that I can pass along. I'd do this for anybody, because it's simply the right thing to do. That's especially true when the person is a friend.

I have had an interesting relationship over the years with Bryan Murray.

Many officials considered him a pain in the neck when he was coaching. When Bryan got on your case, he was relentless. I never had too much of a problem with him, however, until one night in Winnipeg when he coached what proved to be his final game behind the bench of the Washington Capitals.

In all of my years of refereeing, I only ever called four bench minors against complaining coaches. One was to Robbie Ftorek (a close friend off the ice and my old teammate in Cincinnati and Quebec). Two were Ron Wilson (someone for whom, quite frankly, I have no time or patience). The other one was to Murray.

Oddly enough before the game, I had a conversation with Washington Capitals general manager David Poile that foreshadowed what was to come.

"Stewy, I know Bryan has issues with a lot of officials," said Poile. "We track these things and you are the only current referee in the NHL who has never whistled him."

"It's easy, David," I said. "I understand he's doing what he has to do. I do what I have to do, too. I don't engage with Bryan when he starts on me. I just skate to the other side of the rink and ignore him. He'll stop before too long. He knows I can hear him. But if he ever pushes it over the line, I wouldn't hesitate to bag him."

Apart from relentlessly pushing his case, Bryan also had a tendency to refuse to send his players out on the ice until the referee skated over to the bench. That angers many officials. As for myself, I refused to play that game. If I chose to come over to the bench to explain a call, I'd do it willingly. If I chose not to come over to bench, it was because there was no reason to talk.

If the coach persisted, I would tell the team captain to inform his coach that if I did skate over, it would be to issue a bench minor. That put an end to it. Also, if a coach continued ot refuse to send his players out on the ice, I'd simply have the puck dropped.

Bryan never pushed that particular issue over the line with me. But later on the very night after I had my conversation with Poile about having never penalized Bryan, I got into it with him at the bench.

The fuse was lit when Washington enforcer Nick Kypreos knocked Winnipeg's John Ashton out cold with what was a clean hit by the standards of the time but today would be considered a head shot. With his left leg airborne, Kypreos pivoted his right foot and put all his weight on that side. He tucked in his elbow as he blasted into Ashton. The Jets player went down hard, blood streaming from his nose.

It was a tough hit, but a clean one as I saw it. I told the unhappy Winnipeg coach Bob Murdoch as much. As soon as play resumed, Winnipeg's Shawn Cronin made a beeline for Kypreos off the faceoff. They fought, of course. Next shift, Winnipeg's Laurie Boschman rattled a Capitals player.

Murray hollered at me, demanding I do something about it. I tried to inform him that although Kypreos' hit was clean and I had told the Winnipeg side as much, the Jets' response was exactly what was to be expected. They hadn't crossed the line either.

The actual conversation, however, didn't go as intended. The more Murray hollered, the more the spittle flew out of his mouth and right into my face. Expletives deleted, this is how it ended up going:

"Stop spitting on me!" I yelled.

That made Bryan even angrier. "You can't disrespect me! I'm going to report this to [supervisor] John D'Amico!"

I felt another stream of saliva. That did it. I bagged Bryan with a bench minor. I did not, however, eject him. I never ejected a single coach in my entire refereeing career.

The next day, the Capitals fired Bryan. They replaced him with his younger brother, Terry.

A year or two later, Bryan was coaching the Detroit Red Wings. I ran into him before I worked a game in Calgary. We were both in a relaxed mood and simply began to talk. We talked and talked about everything but hockey. We found we had a lot in common.

I got a different slant on Bryan Murray that day. What a soft-spoken, intelligent gentleman he was!

In the years that followed, I found him to be a caring person and a man of his word. I like him. Incidentally, Terry is the same way, but usually more low-key behind the bench. Their styles are a little different but both are very good hockey coaches and both are good men away from the ice.

Knowing the person that Bryan is, I know he is determined to win his fight with cancer. I also know the hockey man in him will continue to handle his responsibilities to the Senators to the peak of his ability.

Over the years, I also grew close with Roger Neilson. Roger became one of my favorite people in hockey. Talk about men of honor, integrity, bravery and intelligence. Roger was all those things as well as a tremendous coach. He had a brilliant hockey mind and for all his absent-minded professor ways off the ice, was one of the most reliable and caring men the game has ever known.

I'll share a story with you: When Roger was battling cancer and coaching in Ottawa near the end of his life, he and I were in touch frequently. I once got in trouble with my bosses at the NHL for visiting Roger in Ottawa. I got written up for it, in fact. Some nonsense about the potential perception of favoritism.

I couldn't have cared less. Roger and I had a bond. When I'd see him, I'd ask how his veins were holding up from all the injections. We both knew the feeling of turning into a human pin cushion. He'd smile knowingly and roll up his sleeve to show me.

In 2000, Roger was invited to the open ceremony at the NHL All-Star Game in Toronto. He wasn't up to it, so he asked me to go in his place. I was honored to accept. As a thank you, the Senators gave my then two-year-old son McCauley a Sens sweater with the number "22 1/2" on it. I had McCauley wear it and we took photos.

I heard about that, too, from my bosses. I was told it was unbecoming for the family member of an NHL official to publicly wear the sweater of an NHL team. As if anyone but the league's officiating director had an issue with it. Of course, no one else minded.

At any rate, there were times Roger would get mad at me for a call on the ice. He really wasn't one to raise his voice very often, anyway, nor did he swear. Even so, he would make it very, very clear to everyone in the building when he disagreed with an official's call. Waved a white towel once. Threw a stick on the ice another time.

In my case, Roger would simply look me in the eyes and then let it go. He never held a grudge, either.

As coaches, Bryan Murray and Roger Neilson and Pat Burns were all very different in their styles. As human beings, they shared a common bond that had nothing to do with whatever illness befell them. Cancer attacks your body, it does not define your humanity or crush your spirit.

What Bryan shares with Roger and Pat is that he has earned the respect of the entire hockey world because of their personal character, intelligence and their seemingly endless well of inner toughness. Godspeed, Bryan.

*********

Paul Stewart holds the distinction of being the first U.S.-born citizen to make it to the NHL as both a player and referee. On March 15, 2003, he became the first American-born referee to officiate in 1,000 NHL games.

Today, Stewart is an officiating and league discipline consultant for the Kontinental Hockey League (KHL) and serves as director of hockey officiating for the Eastern College Athletic Conference (ECAC).

The longtime referee heads Officiating by Stewart, a consulting, training and evaluation service for officials. Stewart also maintains a busy schedule as a public speaker, fund raiser and master-of-ceremonies for a host of private, corporate and public events. As a non-hockey venture, he is the owner of Lest We Forget.

In addition to his blogs for HockeyBuzz every Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday, Stewart writes a column every Wednesday for the Huffington Post.