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The Slumpingest Division There Ever Was |
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"He lives with a conviction, what others less strong might call paranoia, that no matter how good the team is, it might never win another game.”
-- Ken Dryden, about Scotty Bowman, in "The Game."
And to think Dryden wrote this in 1983, 30 years before creation of the Metropolitan Division. There, coaches don’t just live in such dread; it becomes reality. In the Yo-Yo Division, if you lose one, you are going to lose four and be lucky to keep it at that. When the flighty Flyers came up short in 10 straight, several by a goal, they were lamenting not getting any breaks. But in the Metro, these vehicles, careening around in a demolition derby, are seemingly not equipped with brakes.
The Devils haven’t won in six. The Islanders are fresh off going stale for five. The Rangers one win in their last five was at Arizona, which doesn’t really count. Over the weekend, Columbus lost back-to-backers to Buffalo and Vancouver, only two losses, sure, but against those teams, it seems like 10.
Gotta give proper credit to those two Carolina wins in the last eight because one was in Pittsburgh and the other in Washington, the latter being the only seeming adult in the division. The Hurricanes, brick by brick building towards a contention that they hope will last as long as the pyramids–and are taking a similar length of time to construct–finally seem soon to have their patience rewarded. But now they have a new owner who already shows signs of having little patience at all. And they still are four games away from an eight-game homestand and, who knows, an eight-game winning streak.
Not to be snide, but this is the division of The Schneid. The parity in the league explains the multitude of one-goal wins and one-goal losses, sure. But we’ve been asking around for a while and nobody yet has satisfactorily explained all these losses happening consecutively.
These teams are more fragile than even Michal Neuvirth, resulting in a pile-up of clubs deeper than a drift in Buffalo, which isn’t even half as deep as the pile of losses there over the last eight years. But the Sabres are bad at least in a way you can understand.
The Metro? There are 11 points between first and last place. There are five points separating seven teams for four playoff spots. It’s almost as tight in the West, but what makes the Metro all the more wacky is that both wild cards likely will come from that division.
Therefore, it is up to you whether to define this as mediocrity in all its NHL-contrived glory, or to believe that now that intra-division play has begun in earnest, these are all good teams mercilessly stomping on one another when they are down. Except to say none of these clubs exactly remind us of the 1982 Islanders, we aren’t really sure of anything anymore.
We have come to the point where we trust what we are seeing about as much as John Tortorella used to trust Michael Del Zotto. So we are stocking up more Eddie Lacks and canned goods, preparing for this to go to the last shootout on April 7. Should, at the end of that day, the standings remain tied between six teams for the last spot, we’ve looked up the eighth tiebreaker: To the playoff place goes the team that has had John Moore the fewest times.
In the meantime, we’re more lost than the net is to Rick Nash. But the folks at Hockey Buzz pay us for our opinion, and just past halfway, we think we’ve got it figured out, at least until Thursday.
You don’t like what we’re saying about your team here, relax, By next week all those teams stinkin’ out the joint will be smelling sweeter than even Alain Vigneault seems to be on Steven Kampfer, for whatever reason.
WASHINGTON – The Caps still are defying the gravity of significant cap-driven personnel losses, on top of a crushing playoff disappointment. Of course, they are used to the latter, but still, you have to impressed that their longest losing streak has been three games. That is a tribute to their handling by Barry Trotz, the consistency of Braden Holtby and the too-easily criticized Alex Ovechkin, who is still firmly at the wheel of a bus stripped of more than just hubcaps. It may yet wind up against a tree if John Carlson leaves for free agency. But for now, kudos to the Caps.
COLUMBUS -- Cam Atkinson and Brandon Dubinsky are two key guys to be missing, especially since Sergei Bobrovsky has temporarily lost his game, if not yet his wide acclaim as the NHL’s greatest goalie ever to have yet to have won a playoff series.
Jackets currently have won only three of their last nine. Slumps for highly organized and motivated teams like this one usually are a reflection of lack of scoring depth–in this case manifested in a shortage of star power. Columbus works hard every night though, which is the quintessential problem solver. All should be fine once Torts calls these guys some bad names or the Flyers come to town. In this division of the bad streaks, theirs is near the top. They have not won at Nationwide Arena in their last 11 visits dating back to 2005. Six of the last seven have in overtime or shootouts.
PITTSBURGH – The stars are starring again. So after a season of starts and stops, this absolutely, positively, without question, is the beginning of a run that will put the Penguins in position – and of the proper mind – to defend their crown. Maybe.
For now at least, Daniel Sprong and Domink Simon are coming up big from Scranton-Wilkes Barre, Jamie Oleksiak from Dallas and now so is even Carl Hagelin since his recall from Mars. Someday soon the Penguins may even score an even-strength goal. We believe their last one was by Greg Polis but we’re still checking. A third Cup? Now, that would be a streak worthy of even this division. The Pens’ chances? Depends how good you feel about the third and fourth lines ever scoring a goal again and Matt Murray. Or, if necessary, Tristan Jarry.
NEW JERSEY – The Devils are relevant again ahead of schedule because Nico Hischier instantly has been a good player and Taylor Hall has played unlike he ever really did in Edmonton. The process has been accelerated by the Jasper Bratts and Brian Gibbonses and Blake Colemans. Is the pumpkin coach backed up to the loading dock to take these guys back to the anonymity from which they game? Hey, never blame the footmen; they aren’t the drivers. This team works hard, skates fast, but defense is average or less and therefore the Devs give up primo scoring chances. So it’s Cory Schneider-or-bust if they are going to get in.
RANGERS -- With the Derek-Stepan left hole unfilled at center and diminished experience on defense, the Rangers have never looked on paper like a playoff team, except in goal. We picked them to get in on Henrik Lundqvist and muscle memory. And that’s still the way it looks.
Through a lengthy run of contention – six out of the last seven years getting past at least one round of playoffs–fueled by smart trades and signings, the Rangers went 2013 through 2016 without a No. 1 pick. The previous one before the two last summer was Brady Skjei in 2012, leaving only Chris Kreider and J.T. Miller to show for first rounds since Marc Staal in 2005. That dearth of prime talent figured to be showing up right about now. So will the extended absence of Kreider. Ouch. Hope Lundqvist had a restful bye week.
ISLANDERS _ Calvin de Haan has been a significant loss to a D that is a C at best. The second highest scoring team in the leagues is last defensively. Goaltending comes and goes, just like our conviction to declare this an up-trending team. Isles might score their way in. Then again, they might not. If Matthew Barzal hits the rookie wall, so will the Isles, not that he is showing any sign of that. Every club in the Metro could use a good trade at the deadline but the Isles especially. Butch Goring c’monnnnnnn down.
PHILADELPHIA—Little known fact: They are 12-4-1 since the 10-game winless streak. Dave Hakstol drew ridicule for pointing out those five scrawny, lonely, points during that skid as evidence he had a better club than it looked. But those points kept the Flyers alive.
So now the league waits for them to promptly turn around and go 4-12-1, but even if they do, this still is going to be a good team, the only question being how soon. Could it happen as soon as this second half? Maybe, if Nolan Patrick starts to produce a modicum of points to get a third line going and Shayne Gostisbehere continues to play at both ends like he has of late. A shootout win couldn’t hurt either. Flyers should try it sometime.
CAROLINA – The Hurricanes are still short a more-than-just-passable top six forward. Or two. Or three actually with Sebastian Aho out for an extended time. That’s more than an ouch, but a full yeoooooow.
Good young defense is in place, but, like in Philly, learning on the job, and the Canes don’t score enough to ease the growing pains. But they still might already be as good as the competition, provided Cam Ward can put together a good second half. If they had any fans left, it would be nice to see them rewarded at long last.
The margin between these clubs is thinner than even their margins for error from night to night. We tried to give it to you straighter than Kevin Shattenkirk’s path to a coach’s doghouse. But bet on any of these clubs at your own risk and certainly not on any coach of these teams being around in three years.
The great separators -- the good trading deadline acquisition, the injury occurring too late in the season to get the key player back–have yet to manifest themselves. But remember: That point you just gained in a shootout that ran your losing streak to 13 might just get you in.
Blogger •NHL Hall of Fame writer • 
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