Wanna blog? Start your own hockey blog with My HockeyBuzz. Register for free today!
 

PLUS/MINUS: Oooooh Child, It's the Extended 3 Hour Edition

August 1, 2016, 12:23 PM ET [158 Comments]
James Tanner
Blogger • RSSArchiveCONTACT


PLUS/MINUS is usually published on Sundays. Today is a Civic Holiday in Canada, so please accept these bonus Pluses and Minuses

PLUS: The Coyotes have bought out Antoine Vermette. This was a highly necessary move. It will make space on the bench for a young player and it was time to move on. A good solid Coyote in the past, it was time for a change because Vermette had declined so much recently.

PLUS: Maybe this will finally stop all lazy writers who happen to cover the Coyotes once in a blue moon to finally stop refering to Vermette as a "Top Six Winger."

MINUS: Anyone ever using the phrase "Top Six" at all, under any circumstances. Third lines aren't for checkers anymore, so that phrase is irrelevant. Please move on.

MINUS: Ooooh Child, it is with a heavy heart I must pay tribute to my favorite late-night psychic and frequent fake-collaborator, Miss Cleo who passed away this past week.

Sadly, Miss Cleo only made 24 cents per minute while the Psychic Alliance raked in billions from innocent idiots. In case it isn't clear, I was only pretending to know her and she actually lived comfortably in California and not in the parking lot behind the Dominoes near my house.

She left me with one final prediction: "Child, you will meet a new physic friend. But for now, bet all your money on the Blue Jackets."

She did not know hockey. But we loved her anyways.

Call me now!



MINUS: I play Yahoo brand fantasy sports, but not football. Football is a sport that isn't for me. Too boring, no ice, no bats. Anyways, it gets really annoying when Football season comes around because all the fantasy articles about other sports go away and all anyone talks about is a sport where I could name only like three players.

MINUS: Tobias Reider contract demands. I'm hearing he's asking $4.5. He's OK, but he's not that good. I hope they work it out though, cause he's actually much better than OK. It's just that for that price, I want some offense.

MINUS: As we sit right now, on August first, there things are bugging me: 1) Tyler Bozak is still on the Leafs 2) Antoine Vermette is still on the Coyotes and 3) the Oilers haven't done enough to add depth players to their roster.

PLUS: Batman v. Superman. I think in the history of cinema, this is the most unfairly panned movie of all time. When you consider that this movie was made for all the wrong reasons (commerce, competition with a rival, greed, instead of, you know, art or love) the way it turned out is amazing.

I think Marvel movies are great. I love them, despite the fact that they are cookie-cutter movies that all feature the same basic plot, that they don't take any real artistic (or any kind) of risks and that they are firmly PG-13. (Not to mention the corporate greed factor). All things considered, they are fantastic.

Batman v. Superman deserves so much better than it's gotten though. First, it's a dark, R rated movie and it doesn't pander to it's audience in the way all Marvel movies do.

People called it "incoherent" but I actually thought it was intelligent. Instead of having an idiot character explain all the plot twists for the idiot viewer, BVS actually asks it's audience to think a little. A second viewing does a lot for this movie (and the extended version is way, way better).

I like that this ten billion dollar movie is too dark and violent for kids. I like that it's hard to follow and actually expects you to think about it. Yeah, it doesn't give you exactly what most audience members probably want and considering we all know it's not real, the ending had a bit of a 'Days of Our Lives' feel to it, but I think it was the best Super Hero Movie of all time.

In my opinion, the Iron Man vs. Captain America movie was fantastic, but I think BvS grapples with the same themes in a much better way. Their fight wasn't ever going anywhere, where as, the Batman/Superman almost makes you sick to watch - I found a sort of realism in that movie that most Super Hero Movies fail to achieve.

Anyways, I commend the movie for taking risks and for not being a PG movie with a happy ending that checks all the boxes and pulls its punches. It's got flaws for sure, but it was unfairly ripped in a mob-metality way that I think is kind of sad. God forbid a super hero movie try to be intelligent or artistic.

What do movie critics know anyways? Or Comic Fans? Group A is too pretentious and Group B cares way too much about Affleck (who was a great Batman). I'm the only movie critic you can trust.



MINUS: While I like the signings of Murphy and Stone by the Coyotes this week, I don't understand how the team expects that adding Goligoski to the worst D unit in hockey is going to drastically improve things. Yes, they added depth in McBain (Mendoza, you are going down!) Schenn et. al, but at this point, they still employ 6/7 of the worst group the league had to offer last year.

PLUS: This movie review is likely ten years too late, but I finally saw the movie Benjamin Button yesterday. I don't know why I put it off this whole time, David Fincher is one of my favorite directors and I always enjoyed the F. Scott Fitzgerald story.

Turns out, it was delightful - even though, I was sort of disappointed that he wasn't born a fully grown old man, which is what I always imagined. What was I thinking? Logistically, I mean. Something along the lines of Alien, I guess.

PLUS: Though I don't particularly care for international tournaments, I am a fan of the Team North America concept. Canada is just too good to make cheering for them exciting. If they win, as they will in all tournaments in which they are not a victim of bad luck, it's like getting a Royal Sampler.

Team North America gives you someone to cheer for that doesn't remind you of the New York Yankees and the roster will be fantastic. In a somewhat interesting twist, Connor McDavid, who would be Canada's (at worst) 3rd best player, will have to suit up for Team NA.

PLUS: After all this time, I have to say I'm on Team Edward.

MINUS:Speaking of the Yankees, I don't think it was right that they were able to buy-low on a player who is, by all accounts, a complete idiot and terrible person, despite being a fantastic athlete, and then sell high on that player when the problems aren't front and centre anymore.

They made a ridiculous profit off domestic abuse. They should feel great about themselves.

PLUS: One thing I will say positively about the World Cup: September hockey is way better than stopping the season. I hope the Olympics are over. The NHL should never have been there as it is supposed to be about amateur sports.

But the whole thing is arbitrary: It's the same players playing the same game. Why is it more or less special if it's designated "Olympics"? I mean, why is that corrupt body of wanna-be FIFA Crooks so special? Whether or not you call it the World Cup or the Olympics, the hockey is the same and this way you don't have to play at Midnight in Korea (or wherever ) or stop the season in the middle of the Playoff Race like a bunch of morons.

MINUS:Tyson Barrie is off the market. I think everyone was hoping that their team would make a play for Barrie if the Avs decided to trade him. Personally, I think he'd have looked good with Gardiner and Rielly in Toronto or finally given OEL a decent partner in Arizona.

PLUS: The Avalanche signed him to a good cap hit. Not sure why they were playing hard ball with him in the first place, and ideally they might have locked him up a bit longer, but a $5.5 million cap hit for a player of his abilities is a nice deal for the team.



Yesterday's Content Begins:

PLUS: Everything Tampa's done so far, but also: waiting to see how they sign Kucherov. If I was an NHL GM, I'd been circling their roster like a vulture looking for whatever they cast off or trying to facilitate a way to help me help them.

PLUS: Predestination with Ethan Hawke.

OK, I'm a sucker for time travel movies, but this movie was amazing. I ordered it blind, meaning I knew it was a time travel movie and that is it - I watched it without knowing anything about the plot, and that is essential because after watching it, I read the back of the case and I know my enjoyment of the movie would have been lessened had I done so before hand.

So get this movie, don't read anything about it and just watch it. It is fantastic. I give it my best rating ever: Seven Thumbs Up.

MINUS: Gary Bettman's stance on concussions and their link to CTE. I have always stuck up for Gary, but it seems this week that he went full McMahon in his ongoing quest for evil.

I'd pay to see him fight Stone Cold that's for sure.



MINUS: I got up early with the kids and was going to write this early and post it early....but.....they insisted on watching The Cat in the Hat with breakfast.

Not only is this one of the worst movies I have ever seen, but it's nearly impossible to write with such annoying garbage in the background. Certainly I haven't been paying full attention, but Mike Myers is unbearable. I hate Shrek, I hate the Grinch......Mike Myers is so annoying in these movies that I now retroactively hate Wayne's World.

PLUS: The World Cup, the Presidential Election, the Purge 8, the Olympics, Donald Trump, the only thing that could possibly make 2016 better would be the return of Rap Rock.

Actually, when you actually think about, it's honestly surprising Trump didn't choose Fred Durst as his running mate.

MINUS: Calling Toronto the 6ix. That's annoying to hear, but mixing letters with numbers? Even worse, I read a record review the other month that referred to Drake as "the 6ix God."

I hate how self-conscious we are about international success. Like I'm supposed to care about Mens Tennis of all things just because there's a Canadian who's pretty good now? A B-list rapper is a "God"? Its all so surreal. Who cares?

I mean, Drake is OK, and Take Care is a classic, but his new album is nearly
un-listenable.

PLUS: Worms: Armageddon It's the Wire of video games. Or maybe that's too high praise.......for the Wire.



PLUS: That abomination of a Mike Myers movie is over and I can now write to the soothing sounds of the Stone Roses. Also, Mike Myers the actor is more scary to me than his murderous C-list alter-ego.

PLUS: If you are currently in your mid thirties, and you live in Canada, and you had a friend who's Mom was like a 32 year old Bon Jovi fan when you were in your early teens, chances are you knew someone who owned Joey Vandetta's 100% Pure Rock the world's most inexplicable compilation album.

Vendetta was a classic rock DJ on Q107 - Toronto's Classic Rock. But why would anyone want a CD of the 15 songs the station murdered by overplaying them? Even back in the days when it made sense to buy a compilation CD? A Classic Rock Compilation is so unnecessary and quaint it almost seems cute.

I mean American Woman? Baracuda? American Pie? Born to Be Wild? These are songs you needed on a CD? Remember when radio DJs had the cache to release their favorite crappy songs as a compilation?

I realize this is a little esoteric, but damn, the existence of this CD is amazing. I bring it up of course because when I turned on my radio the other day, who should be on the Fan 590 but old Joey Vendetta himself?

Anyone seen Brother Jake Edwards, Kenny 'the Hit Man' Caughlin or Jessie and Gene lately?

PLUS: My wife has been gone for 24 hours now, out for a 'girls weekend' with her sisters and the place is falling apart, things are out of control and my kids - who I thought were angels - may have already become pledges in a biker gang.

Here's what I learned: Mother's Day and Father's Day are not equivalent holidays. I now consider it almost insulting to mothers that there even is a 'fathers day.'

PLUS: My favorite Simpsons Episodes:

1. Clown College
2. Stone Cutters
3. Monorail
4. Homer is a Food Critic
5. The Halloween Episode where they go to the school to discuss the misprinted calendars.
6. The one with David Byrne.



MINUS: I can never spell calendar or exercise. Usually I spell them so badly that spell-check suggests colander and excise, but not the words I want.

PLUS: The new Ghostbusters. It was hilarious. And if a remake makes you mad or somehow 'ruins your childhood' you might be a loser.

Five Stars for the re-boot and an extra star for all the rap-rock loving, Mike Myers fans it seems to have enraged.

MINUS: Having to come up with hockey related bits for this article in August. Can you believe Mike Santorelli is gonna play in Switzerland? Did Sam Gagner just go to Columbus?

Yarrrrrrrrrrrr!

DOUBLE MINUS: Gary Bettman gets the first ever Double Minus for his ridiculous, insensitive, incorrect, cowardly, self-serving, pathetic comments on concussions this week.

From what I can gather, Gary apparently thinks that if you get a concussion, your brain will somehow know the difference between one caused by football and one caused by hockey and then self-determine the extent to which you will be injured.

PLUS: There is no medical evidence linking concussions to being a 40 year-old male who still buys and/or listens to new releases by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Join the Discussion: » 158 Comments » Post New Comment
More from James Tanner
» I am Just Curious If This Works
» NHL At Least Tries to do the Right Thing
» The NHL Cannot Remain Apolitical and Must Show Leadership
» Time for a New Coach to Go Along with the New G.M
» Coyotes Eliminated Following Severe Beating