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Clutching and Grabbing: The Life and Times of B.D. Gallof. Part 13

May 2, 2007, 4:43 PM ET [ Comments]
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B.D. Gallof

We pause our daily satirical rambles for the following message from your intrepid author…


Curly: Wait a minute. You know I'm temperamental!
Moe: Yeah, 95% temper, 5% mental.
- The Three Stooges


Who’s Beating Who?

There is no way to really bounce back immediately from a beating. Sometimes when you take one, you’ll pound back viciously. Sometimes you just raise your arms over your head and take the punishment. Sometimes you take it with a gleam in your eye and cock your fist, waiting for the opportunity to put in your counterstrike. Sometimes, knowing how much wreckage you can dispense, you’ll start whispering to yourself and them for them to give you their best. It’s usually at that point where whoever is beating you starts to get a bit disturbed by that murderous grin and that chanting of “more…more” from your lips. The opposition actually blinks.

When Sabres and the Rangers take another turn in a very closely contested and dynamic series…who will blink? Right now, the only ones blinking are hockey fans and playoff teams after watching critical replay after replay get hotly contested in the realm of public opinion. And the biggest beating going on right now during the NHL playoffs is upon the NHL's Video Review system.

We heard whispers of it twice during the Islander series. Sure, Isle fans and Ted Nolan were just riled, and there wasn’t anything wrong with the system…right? But then it’s Devils vs. Senators…including questions about clock times and why off-ice officials in Ottawa for the game were from NJ instead of using impartial ones. San Jose vs. Detroit. Anaheim vs. Vancouver. Vancouver vs. Dallas. Anyone watching any of these series has sat with a dumbfounded look on their face and a complete different opinion of the resulting call.

The NHL brass can use the same old general ploy, to say, during the playoffs, you can’t please everyone. But what happens when you please NOBODY??? Do you re-evaluate the system? Will NHL brass blink? Sometimes when you stare at the empty eyes of the NHL top guys, you think that these men just don’t watch the games or feel the pain. Perhaps somewhere along the line, coinciding with the NHL paychecks, their hearts were removed, and their blood siphoned into a refrigerated containers…hidden in a vault in NHL headquarters in NYC.

There have been just too many instances of missed calls or questionable issues in regard to the process. The NHL Video Review system is failing when it becomes the number one discussion in the playoff rounds. Fans and teams will never like “the call”…especially when they are on the losing end. But that doesn’t absolve the muck and mire that the NHL system is presenting when phone calls go to Toronto, and you think that Larry, Moe and Curly are on the other end of the line...

Larry: “Oooh I can't see ! I can't see!”

Moe: “WHAT'S THE MATTER?”

Larry: I've got my eyes closed.

(Moe eye pokes Larry)

Curly: “Does anyone have an answer?”

Referee: “What the hell is going on over there? The fans look ready to hang me! Give me the right call”

Larry: “Eeeny meenie mighty mo…”

Moe: “What sport is this?”





Back to Round 2…

So, as the Rangers have evened out the series, and it head’s back to Buffalo, attention find itself on the NHL rather than both team, which have fought tooth and nail throughout this series. Rangers have outplayed Buffalo for 3 games now, winning 2. Should Buffalo fans be concerned? Very much so. Rangers go to Buffalo with momentum. All they need to do is take the very next to press Buffalo into a position that fans and that team do not want to be. Next game is more than pivotal. It is the crux of round 2 for both teams. Pressure is now on Buffalo.

So, as Detroit and San Jose play their tight checking games in their series, who is really taking and giving the beating? Did San Jose, who was outplayed at the start, wait for their opportunity and press the advantage? Or was it Detroit, giving and giving, but getting the raw end of the deal score-wise? Last round, Detroit pounded Calgary so hard that their psyche unraveled…leaving Calgary a wreck of suspensions and fines. But San Jose took Nashville down so hard that their excellent coach Barry Trotz might pay the price for postseason disappointment, despite the fact everyone knew Sharks were dangerous. That fact has been abundantly clear since Joe Thorton was gifted to them by the Bruins.

Anaheim was on the ropes early in Game 4, Vancouver playing urgently, but could not hold on. Vancouver’s inability to close out a team shows once again as the Ducks clawed back. Vancouver is now on life support, down 3-1 and heading back to Anaheim. The fan silence in GM Place was deafening with Moen’s goal in OT. Times running out on Luongo’s stellar run this season, and Nucks seems just about done.


Curly: “Ohhh…speaking of which! Nyuck Nyuck Nuck”




Tomorrow, more satirical antics…



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