This summer after stopping in for a slice of pizza, who should I see hanging out in the back parking lot of the local Dominoes? Why none other than former Queen of the late night infomercial Miss Cleo. I couldn't believe my luck and of course I thought this was too good to be true, but I asked for her summer hockey predictions anyways.

Now, however, I am pretty sure it was an impostor because Miss Cleo steered me wrong. Big time! Barely any of her summer predictions came true. Still, it was worth a try and I made a great new friend in the process, and at least I didn't pay $3.99 per minute.

I visited her again last night to complain and all she would say was: "Oooooooh child you know me predictions are mostly about paternity and adultery, hockey be not the tarot's forte."






The Summer Predictions, followed by a comment from today:


1. PK Subban will sign with the Canadiens for 8 years at $8 million/ year.


Full credit to Cleo for nailing her number one prediction, and off by only a million per year. Not bad, not bad......except for, well, anyone could have predicted this because PK Subban is the best player the Habs have had since Patrick Roy left them in 1993.


2. The Coyotes will trade Keith Yandle.

The Coyotes, who won last night 4-2 in a preseason game vs. the Canucks (with former friend Vbrata scoring a goal too) have yet to trade Yandle.

Personally, I am happy to keep him, he's a great player, but I still think moving him for a forward is a very sensible thing to do. However, they could also move one of Murphy, Stone or Gormley, rather than risk upsetting fans and trading one of the most popular players.


3. The Bruins will make some sort of roster move.

This didn't really happen as the Bruins waited until the last possible minute to re-sign Krug and Smith. The prediction was for the summer and I really think it suggested a trade, not just signing very team friendly contracts. Cleo is only 1 for 3 so far.

4. Steve Stamkos will be caught at a Blue Jays game wearing a Phil Kessel Jersey, and the internet will break.

I am pretty sure this happened. Although, my uncle Chuck is not exactly that reliable when it comes to celebrity sightings - he once thought my Mom's friend Annette was Axle Rose - so perhaps I should fact check this.

More seriously, the whole situation of Stamkos favoriting a Tweet that mentioned him coming to Toronto was one of the most ridiculous, embarrassing things to happen to the NHL all summer. And I don't mean him doing it, I mean the reactions. People really can't take a joke. I think Stamkos is even better now than I did before.



5. Bruce Springsteen will contact me to tell me that I am his favorite hockey blogger, and that he is writing a new concept album about the Phoenix Coyotes.


Cleo steered me wrong her for sure.

6. The Leafs will trade Joffrey Lupul for a defenseman.

Well, the Leafs have not done this. The Coyotes still have too many defenseman and the Leafs are right up against the cap. They could use some scoring. I don't know that I'd do it straight up, but maybe a Murphy or Gormley trade to Toronto could help both teams if the Leafs kicked in a little more.

7. Paul Bissonnette will resign with the Coyotes.

Too bad, I like Bissonnette, but skating a skilled player on the fourth line is probably a better move anyways. Or maybe they'll just play Crombeen instead. Time will tell if he's any better but at this time I honestly don't know.


8. Cody Franson will be traded

The Leafs traded him and when that didn't go through, they inexplicably resigned him. Now he's injured and out for a while with a knee injury, but it just seems weird to play a guy you already traded. It also seems Miss Cleo is not very good at predictions.

9. For some reason, Miss Cleo predicts that New Jack Swing will come back into style and that Wreckx-n-Effect will release a new single that will top the charts in late August.


Too bad cause this woulda been sweet. Fingers crossed, it could still happen.


10. Evander Kane will be traded.

He has not been traded, which means Miss Cleo went a hot 1 for 10 on her summer predictions.I mean, someone who doesn't have psychic powers should be able to guess better than ten percent. Ooooooh child, what a joke! Next time I need some predictions, I think I'll call up La Toya Jackson instead.

Thanks for reading.

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