Yes, it's silly season in the NHL. Yesterday, it felt like the flood gates opened on insanity. As far as the Oilers go, GM Steve Tambellini was less vague than usual during his most recent interview. He indicated that Sam Gagner, Nikolai Khabibulin and Ryan Smyth are not for trade, and whatever happens with Ales Hemsky, happens. He might as well have signed a goodbye card...and after Tambi was done, Hemsky was interviewed and it seemed pretty obvious he knows a deal is coming. Interesting day in Edmonton.
And we all know the "Rick Nash is now available" thing blew up in a big way. There were 100 different rumors, with almost every NHL team being named. Truth is, Nash can decide his own fate here to a large degree, so you aren't going to see him go to a bad team or an undesirable city. As usual, the "big" name will go to a New York, a Chicago, a LA or a Vancouver. Whatever. I'm sure whoever gets him will severely overpay, and Nash will equal huge disappointment come playoff time. And then, the rest of us will laugh at how stupid the team that overpaid for him is.
Since it is silly season, and since things are going to be a little intense around Hockeybuzz for the next 12 days, allow me to crack some jokes for you on this Wednesday morning. Direct from my fragile little mind, here are 12 Deals I'd Like to See at the NHL trade deadline. Enjoy!
1. Rick Nash for Steve Nash
I love this deal. Has there ever been a two-league, two-completely-different-sports deal? Apparently, the Suns are making Nash available, and we know Nash is available from the Blue Jackets. Steve is Canadian, so I'm sure he knows how to skate. So why not? Hey, tell me the Jackets wouldn't sell a few more season tickets next season if Steve Nash was in the line-up. He's the NBA leader in assists. He's the sport's Gretzky!
2. Jeff Carter for Mike Richards
It's still technically Valentine's Day as a write this, so why don't we go with a real Romeo and Juliet story. Former best buds being dealt for each other. It would be heart breaking to hear the phone call between them. "Dude, I totally was going to play on your team, and I was excited, but then I totally heard you were the player the Jackets got for me, and I was totally bummed. I so wanted to go to Hooters with you. Yes, the one across from the Staples Center."
3. Ales Hemsky for Dustin Penner
I'd say the Kings should instead offer up a solid prospect and their 1st round pick again, but I think Penner would be funnier. First off, he'd HATE going back to Edmonton. Did you see his face when he was interviewed after the Oilers dealt him...he was asked if he regretted signing with the Oilers, and let's just say he didn't say no. Penner has been a disaster for the Kings, but at times, he was a solid goal scorer for the Oilers. If you could ever motivate the guy, I'd take Penner over Hemsky, just because he shoots the puck, and also because he's bigger than a bus.
4. Nikolai Khabibulin, Sam Gagner and Ryan Smyth for Whatever
Take three players Steve Tambellini said he wouldn't deal, and deal them to whoever for whatever, just to show them who's boss. Could you imagine Smyth's face? I don't mind it when guys cry for a good cause (like when they find out their in-laws are moving to China, or when Gretzky went to LA), but these would be angry tears, not sad tears. Angry tears are funnier, and hockey players were put on this earth to amuse us.
5. JVR for MPS
It's a good thing I know who owns these initials, or the deal could get confusing...especially considering Paajarvi doesn't use his second last name in the NHL. Hey, if you could find a way to including RNH and DSP, this deal becomes even more fun. A-OK? 10-4.
6. Brad Marchand for Kris Versteeg
I need to post videos for this to make sense. Call it the "Hockey Players are Lame When They Win a Cup" trade. Upon video review, I believe Versteeg is less lame than Marchand. Sit down, J-Roc.
7. Zdeno Chara for Tyler Ennis
What would make this deal more fun is if they stood next to each other for pictures after the deal take place. What is Chara, 6' 9"? What is Ennis, 5' 9"? They'd look like King Kong Bundy and Little Beaver from Wrestlemania III standing next to each other. Think Chara knows how to drop an elbow?
8. Jeremy Lin for Martin Hanzal
We all know Hanzel is so hot right now. But no one is hotter than Lin. I'd trade the entire Oilers for Lin. I'd trade Mila Kunis for Lin (no I wouldn't). Did you see his buzzer beater tonight against TO? Outstanding stuff. And please, don't start calling him the new Tebow. Lin is good, Tebow isn't. What a lame comparison. Why be hatin' on a guy like that, calling him "Tebow". For shame.
9. Jordan Staal for Eric Staal for Marc Staal
So we've already hurt the feelings of the NHL's Romeo and Juliet, Richards and Carter. Can you imagine the emotional mess a deal for the three Staal brothers (forget the 4th terrible one, because including him would just confuse things) would cause? What would really make it entertaining is if they wore each other's numbers on their new team, so fans wouldn't have to buy new jerseys that say "Staal".
10. Chris Pronger for PK Subban
Here's another obvious chance at comedy: Perhaps to two most booed players in the league. I know why everyone hates Pronger, but what does everyone have against Subban, anyway? I don't actually care that people boo him, as he isn't an Oiler. I'm just curious as to why.
11. The Phoenix Coyotes to the Province of Quebec
I'm sick of the Coyotes being in a city where no one appreciates them. I'm sick of the City of Quebec not having a hockey team. So fix it. Quebec can send a wad of cash back in the trade, so the team can pay the league back. Forget giving money back to the City of Scottsdale...they don't need it as much as the league does.
12. Madonna for Lady Gaga
Do you think Gaga has nightmares where she looks into a mirror and sees the image of the 67 year-old, orange skinned, burlap sack that is Madonna? I bet she wakes screaming when that happens. I'm still not sure Madonna's lip-syncing and hip replacement surgery was better entertainment at the Super Bowl than the off-key Black Eyed Peas the year before. At least with the Peas, you knew they were using real mics.
Edmonton Oilers Blogger • 
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